255. Like candy

When you continue to have a friend with benefits after the relationship is over.

I believe this stems from fear.  It is a love hate relationship that you are having with them.  The reasons?  Many.  You left them for a reason and yet you continue to be intimate with them.  I think that people will do this because they are holding onto something that they cannot let go of.  What does the sex do for you?  Make you feel safe? Wanted?  Secure?  A replacement for something?  Or a bridge until the next relationship? 

The fact is that masturbation does the trick as well ya know?  That’s why I don’t think it’s just about getting off, there is something that you are gaining from it.  Something that they are filling in you figuratively (and I guess literally…ey yo!).

I got this metaphor from an intern.  She says it can be like eating sweets when on a diet.  We work out really hard and try to be good, but then we slip, eat the piece of chocolate and then immediately feel bad about it.  It’s not because we didn’t enjoy the chocolate, but more so because it does nothing for us but satisfy a craving in the moment.  We then head to the gym to try and work it off when all you had to do was not eat it in the first place. 

I believe that friends with benefits, after the relationship has ended, are the same way.  You break up with them because of some reason and yet you hold onto them in this way to help fill a need.  To help fill something in you.  Let go.