163. Closure

Many believe they need to close a chapter before opening a new one. They see closure as a cleansing, a washing away, and they don’t allow themselves to move on until what is preventing them from moving on has completely dissolved. But if that’s the case, wouldn’t closure stunt growth? Not allowing yourself to push forward until you have let go of the past becomes a dam, a missed fallen domino piece, quicksand. According to this definition, closure will keep you closed.

I believe closure is having the ability to transition, walking after that crippling event or relationship. Closure then is courage. Closure is not allowing what happened to have power over you, determine who you are, or how you want to live your life. That piece of your story contributed to your journey. It is polish. Not tarnish. Closure doesn’t have to mean forgetting about or erasing memories.

The events that have happened to us, the relationships we have been through, they are valuable. To hope they didn’t happen or push them away is not closure. That is denial. Closure means to accept, learn from, but most importantly begin again. Closure means to walk and it is a bridge, not a door

162

I think about where I've been in the last year and reflect on the loneliness i feel now. It's sprung (sprang?) on me strongly with it's talons out and I don't know why. I know I miss her. her ability to accept me as whole and who I am not only built me, but made me feel invincible. The quiet intimate places we went, the ability to share my secrets and have her trust and hold them. More than anything, I miss the rituals, I miss the breakfast, the coffee, the daily things that she would always tell me made her happy. I think about this last relationship and cant help but remember how she made me feel like superman (because batman sucks :)

Your relationships must breathe invincible. She has to make you feel stronger than "the other" more powerful than "the other" like you are her world...when they can do this to you...well...let me take that back...because we don't see relationships as they are...but as we are...finding the right person will allow you to feel that much more whole...our life sidekicks (partners) can help us breathe in the sweet nectar of life...they fill us with a sweetness and help us fly.

Thank you for reminding me how sweet life tastes...

161. "Return Fire"

160.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

159.

I, I can't promise you
that I won't let you down
And I, I can't promise you
that I will be the only one around
when your hope falls down

But we're young, open flowers in the windy fields
of this war-torn world
And love, this city breathes the plague
of loving things more than their creators

I ran away
I could not take the burden of both me and you
It was too fast
Casting love on me as if it were a spell I could not break
When it was a promise I could not make

But what if I was wrong?

But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight

And now this land means less and less to me
without you breathing through its trees
At every turn the water runs away from me
and the halo disappears
and the hole when you're not near

So what if I was wrong?

But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight

So hold on to what you believed in the light

159. Soon

Soon readers...soon