Quick: Who's the biggest action star of this decade?
I hate to say it, but if we're going to go by box office and pop culture rankings, it just might be little Tobey "spider-man" Maguire- and if not Maquire, it could be the dashing but bland Orlando Bloom, who after all starred in the Pirates and Lord of the Rings franchises.
Perhaps it's Keanu Reeves, thanks to the Matrix movies. Or the chuckling Will Smith and his recrod of summer blockbusters. Or maybe it's Tom cruise. Still. Geez. Cant we find anyone who's not an aging scientologist, a wisecracking lightweight, or a smirking pretty boy?
When I think of Guy movies, I think of two genres: the wacky comedy and the balls-out action film, which encompasses everything from a Scorsese gangster pic to a period piece loike 300. (there's no such thing as a Guy Movie Musical, a Guy Movie starring hugh grant, or a guy movie set in the 19th century where everyone wears big hats.)
On the comedy front, we're in good shape. WIll Ferrell, Wince Vaughn, the Wilson brother (sometimes), Ben stiller, sacha baron cohen, steve carell, et all., are worth successors to John Belushi, Bill Murray, John Candy Dan Aykroyed, Harold Ramis, Eddie Murphy and the rest of the SNL, SCTV, and National Lampoon alums who gave us all those classic guy comedies in the late 70's and early 80's.
Today we're talking Old School, Wedding Crashers, Dodgeball, Borat and a dozen other films that were funnier than hell. Quick dialogue, classic slapstick bits, excellent use of gratuitous nudity, memorable "villians" likable doofuses in lead roles- the ingredients are there. Twenty years from now, we'll be quoting Napoleon Dynamite and The 40 year old virgin.
On the action front, 2007 is no match for the Golden age of the 1980s. Back in the day, we had the Mount Rushmore of action stars: The Arnold, Bruce Willis, Mel Gibson, and Sylvester. hell, even Clint Eastwood was still walking tall and toting a .357 magnum a quarter-century ago. Those guy's were men's men, and their movies had more testosterone than a UFC championship match.
We do have some tough guys in the 21st century, Clive Owen knows how to play badass, and Daniel Craig single-handedly rescued the Bond franchise by returning Bond to his assassin roots. But how can anyone say Tobey, Keanu, and Orlando stack up against Stallone, Arnold, and Gibson? They're boys against men.
Special effects and stunt work are more impressive today, but it would be difficult for anyone to make the claim that the action movies today are equal to those of the 80s or '90s. For laughs and comic book action, the Guy movie is alive and thriving. I'd just like to see it muscle up and get serious a little more often.
Friday, November 23, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
16. Random thoughts for today
Just some random things that have recently poped into my head.
1. Who would've thought that a woman's perfume could act as a cleansing agent for after surgery clean up!
2. Why is it that some people will sign their signature as short as possible and others will take the time to write out the whole thing?
is it really really really necessary to sign in a perfectly legible point
Juan Carlos Santiago Rodriguez
Is it? I had to stand behind a guy at a check out stand where he signed all the checks to pay for groceries just like that...I swear it took like...20 minutes just to write out 3 checks....ugh...
3. Starbucks has black coffee with 1 shot known as a red eye....or black coffee with 2 shots known as a black eye....I wonder what would constitute a brown eye...hahaha...sick
4. Why type with two hands with many can type just as quickly with 2 fingers..speaking of which...i know someone that can type with one finger just as quick as I can type with 2 hands.
5. Warcraft takes up too much time- steve told me that he has fallen behind on weeks of grading due to warcraft...and now has to play catch up...
6. Steve teaches a class called Algebra-R....supposed to be Algebra-(Remedial) for those children who need extra help...but steve has told me that the teachers have nicknamed it Algebra-Retarded....that's just sad.
7. I wear bike locks on my shoes to keep me strapped into the bike when I ride...not too good of an idea when you cant take it off fast enough and fall over in the middle of street....
8. "When in doubt...fart it out" where the hell does that come from...ugh...damn OA kids..
9. In conversation with a "black" man
Me: so why would he call you black? Man: I don't know he was confused by trying to be correct...so I tell him "Don't you ever call me black...I'm african american bee-yotch...don't forget, I'm a strong, black man!"Me: You just said yourself there, that you are black...Man: Did I? ...shit... ahhh screw it...at least i confused him...
10. In nerd talk trying to get laid, "I cast a level 44 erotica on you...you enjoyed it after I put on my wizard hat..." WTF!?!?!?
1. Who would've thought that a woman's perfume could act as a cleansing agent for after surgery clean up!
2. Why is it that some people will sign their signature as short as possible and others will take the time to write out the whole thing?
is it really really really necessary to sign in a perfectly legible point
Juan Carlos Santiago Rodriguez
Is it? I had to stand behind a guy at a check out stand where he signed all the checks to pay for groceries just like that...I swear it took like...20 minutes just to write out 3 checks....ugh...
3. Starbucks has black coffee with 1 shot known as a red eye....or black coffee with 2 shots known as a black eye....I wonder what would constitute a brown eye...hahaha...sick
4. Why type with two hands with many can type just as quickly with 2 fingers..speaking of which...i know someone that can type with one finger just as quick as I can type with 2 hands.
5. Warcraft takes up too much time- steve told me that he has fallen behind on weeks of grading due to warcraft...and now has to play catch up...
6. Steve teaches a class called Algebra-R....supposed to be Algebra-(Remedial) for those children who need extra help...but steve has told me that the teachers have nicknamed it Algebra-Retarded....that's just sad.
7. I wear bike locks on my shoes to keep me strapped into the bike when I ride...not too good of an idea when you cant take it off fast enough and fall over in the middle of street....
8. "When in doubt...fart it out" where the hell does that come from...ugh...damn OA kids..
9. In conversation with a "black" man
Me: so why would he call you black? Man: I don't know he was confused by trying to be correct...so I tell him "Don't you ever call me black...I'm african american bee-yotch...don't forget, I'm a strong, black man!"Me: You just said yourself there, that you are black...Man: Did I? ...shit... ahhh screw it...at least i confused him...
10. In nerd talk trying to get laid, "I cast a level 44 erotica on you...you enjoyed it after I put on my wizard hat..." WTF!?!?!?
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
15. What's wrong with groover
Soooo...the other day I went and bought a new cycling jersey since i'm riding a whole lot more now...for some reason this one here just caught my attention...I think it's awesome...
Super Grover!
So I walk up to the register to purchase the jersey when I notice the cashier "eye-ing" me...My initial reaction; "sweet...must be the new cologne, deodorant, mouthwash, form fitting designer jeans (haha) or combination thereof." Goes without saying that I'm flattered when she starts up a conversation....
Cashier: So I haven't seen you shop here before- do you come in often?
Me: No not really, I've been meaning to come in since you have all kinds of great stuff....I'm going to make it a point to come in more though. (nice andrew)
Cashier: Well you should, you never know what you'll find- do you bike a lot?
Me: Well just lately I have been, I enjoy it, plus this jersey is really cool!
Cashier: Yeah I figured you biked, you can tell by the physique (point andrew!), and since you were buying this jersey, which I think is really cute...(point andrew again)...
Cashier: I hate to be so forward at work, but i'm wondering; are you seeing anyone?
(BAM! ANDREW...MOVE IN FOR THE KILL.....)
Me: Oh no no, that's an okay question and no i'm not...why do you ask? (of course I know why she's asking...she's sooo digging me)
Cashier: Oh!! that's great! because you see....my brother is really cute and likes to bike as well, he's smart, funny... maybe I can set something up?
Me: Well sure we can go out.....OH HANG ON- WHAT!?!?! Did you say your brother?!?!
Cashier: well yeah, he's really nice and bikes too, i'm sure you'll...OHHH...OH MY GOD I'M SO EMBARASSED...I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY..
Me: hahaha...no, i'm not, but thanx for the ego boost in attractiveness....I think?
...................................
Just had to tell the story ya hear? Don't know what it is about the jersey but already it's been twice that i've been asked if I was gay...hmmm....funny times indeed.
Update:
Yesterday at work someone told me that the "G" in the middle stood for "Gay" - (what!?! how does that work? anything with a "G" on it means gay? haha) so instead I turned it around and said that instead it stood for "Gangsta" -oh yeah...gangsta grover...I like the sound of that
Super Grover!
So I walk up to the register to purchase the jersey when I notice the cashier "eye-ing" me...My initial reaction; "sweet...must be the new cologne, deodorant, mouthwash, form fitting designer jeans (haha) or combination thereof." Goes without saying that I'm flattered when she starts up a conversation....
Cashier: So I haven't seen you shop here before- do you come in often?
Me: No not really, I've been meaning to come in since you have all kinds of great stuff....I'm going to make it a point to come in more though. (nice andrew)
Cashier: Well you should, you never know what you'll find- do you bike a lot?
Me: Well just lately I have been, I enjoy it, plus this jersey is really cool!
Cashier: Yeah I figured you biked, you can tell by the physique (point andrew!), and since you were buying this jersey, which I think is really cute...(point andrew again)...
Cashier: I hate to be so forward at work, but i'm wondering; are you seeing anyone?
(BAM! ANDREW...MOVE IN FOR THE KILL.....)
Me: Oh no no, that's an okay question and no i'm not...why do you ask? (of course I know why she's asking...she's sooo digging me)
Cashier: Oh!! that's great! because you see....my brother is really cute and likes to bike as well, he's smart, funny... maybe I can set something up?
Me: Well sure we can go out.....OH HANG ON- WHAT!?!?! Did you say your brother?!?!
Cashier: well yeah, he's really nice and bikes too, i'm sure you'll...OHHH...OH MY GOD I'M SO EMBARASSED...I THOUGHT YOU WERE GAY..
Me: hahaha...no, i'm not, but thanx for the ego boost in attractiveness....I think?
...................................
Just had to tell the story ya hear? Don't know what it is about the jersey but already it's been twice that i've been asked if I was gay...hmmm....funny times indeed.
Update:
Yesterday at work someone told me that the "G" in the middle stood for "Gay" - (what!?! how does that work? anything with a "G" on it means gay? haha) so instead I turned it around and said that instead it stood for "Gangsta" -oh yeah...gangsta grover...I like the sound of that
Monday, July 30, 2007
14. Sleepwalking zombie
sooo my working hours are now from 10 pm to 8 am. Responsibilities include:
1. Stay awake
2. Drink coffee to accomplish number 1
3. Entertain myself on the internet
4. Check on children in the home to verify they are okay (please note its position on the list)
5. Continue to try and stay awake with more coffee
So allow me to explain how this house is...the house is estimated at 6 rooms/5 bathrooms on the top floor (long hallway)
Main floor has a kitchen, living room, dining room, multipurpose room, office, 4 bedrooms/5 bathrooms and again long hallway.
Has a basement, front patio, back and side patios, two laundry rooms outside and a 2.5 car garage.
At night the house is dark because the kids have to sleep (very dark) and it is my responsibility to walk around and see kids and check on the residents and such...well...what happens at the dead of the night when you're alone in such a huge house? YOU HEAR NOISES!!!
I swear I hear noises, that I don't care to think about, all night that freak me out...now yes i'm in the marines and yes seen some ugly things...but let me tell you something...ghosts cannot be shot, struck with a blunt object, or even bribed.....not that i've tried- doh!
So i hear things all the time...anyways...one night i hear a noise upstairs and begin my walk upstairs in the darkness to investigate this thumping..i know what you're thinking,
'you fool! run out the house leave the kids to die at the hands of whatever it is, burn down the place and blame it on the neighbor!'
but instead i head upstairs in the darkness to investigate the noise...sure enough as i am climbing the stairs, standing directly to my left at the top of the stairs is a figure that is just standing there...again...JUST STANDING THERE....i flash my flashlight at it and realize i'm not imagining this figure...again i can hear you...
'told ya so, now you're feed for worms that eventually cows will eat, digest and spew out their ass to make fertilizer with'
so I put my flashlight on it and notice that it's standing limp, arms down, head slightly tilted to the right, lips parted and eyes half closed, with only the outline being seen, i figure out it's one of the residents...telling the resident to go back to bed, i stay far from him because screw my ass being jumped at by this freaky asian zombie thing, trust me, i've seen Dawn of the Dead.
Soooo....i eventually work up the courage to walk up to him and poke him with my flashlight...i notice his eyes are rolled back and drool coming out of his mouth along with mumbling and slight twitching (very slight)...imagine that!! slight twitching, limp, eyes rolled back and open, with incomprehensible mumbling coming out (i'm not paid enough for death by asian undead boy)...after poking him with the flashlight some more, (almost beating him with it I should say) i grab his shoulders, spin him around and lead him back to his room...he goes with it, doesn't jump at my neck to kill me, but instead lays down and goes to sleep...or I guess I should say continues to do it in a non-standing up position.
I retreat to my office corner and spend the remaining time to praying that no other zombie kid arises from the thought dead....
phew....none did. ;-)
1. Stay awake
2. Drink coffee to accomplish number 1
3. Entertain myself on the internet
4. Check on children in the home to verify they are okay (please note its position on the list)
5. Continue to try and stay awake with more coffee
So allow me to explain how this house is...the house is estimated at 6 rooms/5 bathrooms on the top floor (long hallway)
Main floor has a kitchen, living room, dining room, multipurpose room, office, 4 bedrooms/5 bathrooms and again long hallway.
Has a basement, front patio, back and side patios, two laundry rooms outside and a 2.5 car garage.
At night the house is dark because the kids have to sleep (very dark) and it is my responsibility to walk around and see kids and check on the residents and such...well...what happens at the dead of the night when you're alone in such a huge house? YOU HEAR NOISES!!!
I swear I hear noises, that I don't care to think about, all night that freak me out...now yes i'm in the marines and yes seen some ugly things...but let me tell you something...ghosts cannot be shot, struck with a blunt object, or even bribed.....not that i've tried- doh!
So i hear things all the time...anyways...one night i hear a noise upstairs and begin my walk upstairs in the darkness to investigate this thumping..i know what you're thinking,
'you fool! run out the house leave the kids to die at the hands of whatever it is, burn down the place and blame it on the neighbor!'
but instead i head upstairs in the darkness to investigate the noise...sure enough as i am climbing the stairs, standing directly to my left at the top of the stairs is a figure that is just standing there...again...JUST STANDING THERE....i flash my flashlight at it and realize i'm not imagining this figure...again i can hear you...
'told ya so, now you're feed for worms that eventually cows will eat, digest and spew out their ass to make fertilizer with'
so I put my flashlight on it and notice that it's standing limp, arms down, head slightly tilted to the right, lips parted and eyes half closed, with only the outline being seen, i figure out it's one of the residents...telling the resident to go back to bed, i stay far from him because screw my ass being jumped at by this freaky asian zombie thing, trust me, i've seen Dawn of the Dead.
Soooo....i eventually work up the courage to walk up to him and poke him with my flashlight...i notice his eyes are rolled back and drool coming out of his mouth along with mumbling and slight twitching (very slight)...imagine that!! slight twitching, limp, eyes rolled back and open, with incomprehensible mumbling coming out (i'm not paid enough for death by asian undead boy)...after poking him with the flashlight some more, (almost beating him with it I should say) i grab his shoulders, spin him around and lead him back to his room...he goes with it, doesn't jump at my neck to kill me, but instead lays down and goes to sleep...or I guess I should say continues to do it in a non-standing up position.
I retreat to my office corner and spend the remaining time to praying that no other zombie kid arises from the thought dead....
phew....none did. ;-)
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
13. Latest adventures
Where to begin...things that i've recently come across:
1. Men at age 45 to 53 can still have arguments that go along the lines of "it's way better than that, i'd have to say it's about an infinity amount better than that..."
2. At my bartending job, we have the house soup every day called Cock N' Leaky Soup (rice, chicken and leaks). If that's not funny enough, imagine a woman estimated at age 77 who isn't quite sure of the name of the soup coming up and saying, "i'd like an order of that...ya know..that one soup...that...Leeky Cock Soup...it takes so good going down my throat..."
Oh yeah..needless to say i'm dying on the other side listening to her say this
3. Going to starbucks tired as hell and asking for a large black coffee. I ask the guy if there is anything stronger than that...his response? how about I give you a black eye? My response of WTF?!?!?! his response, relax it's just two shots of espresso in the coffee....
.......i'm working from 10 pm to 8 am now folks..feel free to bug me at any time of the night!!!! ;-)
1. Men at age 45 to 53 can still have arguments that go along the lines of "it's way better than that, i'd have to say it's about an infinity amount better than that..."
2. At my bartending job, we have the house soup every day called Cock N' Leaky Soup (rice, chicken and leaks). If that's not funny enough, imagine a woman estimated at age 77 who isn't quite sure of the name of the soup coming up and saying, "i'd like an order of that...ya know..that one soup...that...Leeky Cock Soup...it takes so good going down my throat..."
Oh yeah..needless to say i'm dying on the other side listening to her say this
3. Going to starbucks tired as hell and asking for a large black coffee. I ask the guy if there is anything stronger than that...his response? how about I give you a black eye? My response of WTF?!?!?! his response, relax it's just two shots of espresso in the coffee....
.......i'm working from 10 pm to 8 am now folks..feel free to bug me at any time of the night!!!! ;-)
Friday, June 15, 2007
12. Latest addiction
Now I write this simply for the sake of a few people. This last weekend I had the Marine Corp and was running around, exercisiing a lot and basically burning energy like no other. Being absolutely tired, I decided that I was hungry...now I'm not able to leave the base once i'm there so my options for snacks were: pig's feet, some weird fish chips, these like...chicken feet things...and a slim jim. There were the only things available because I was bumming food off some of my marines...I KNOW WTF?!?! who has those things as snacks!?? haha. Anyways so I opted for the slim jim which in the end I really really enjoyed. I liked it so much that I went out and bought a case of them (50 count) and now that I have them as of today, I have eaten about 10 in a row...i'm feeling sick and not very happy with my choice...yes yes I know I should have spread it out..but dammit the first 8 were just so good that I had to keep eating....oh...not to mention following it with a nice cold Monster Assault Energy drink...all before 8 am! haha....soo bad....but now...i'm not feeling very kosher..maybe the lesson for today is learning moderation...
Friday, June 8, 2007
11. Meaning and happiness
With the success of my last blog I thought I would put something else on here...not sure if the same amount of reaction will occur but lets see....There is no mystery to happiness. Unhappy men and women are are all alike. Some wound they suffered long ago, some wish denied, some blow to the pride, some kindling...spark of love put out by scorn- or worse, indifference- cleaves to them, or they to it, and so they live each day within a shroud of yesterday. The happy wo/man does not look back, s/he doesn't look ahead, s/he lives in the present.The present can never deliver one thing: meaning. The ways of happiness and meaning are not the same. To find happiness, a wo/man need only live in the moment; s/he need only live for the moment. But if s/he wants meaning- his dreams, secrets, life- a wo/man must reinhabit his/her past, however dark and live for the future. Thus nature dangles happiness and meaning before us all, insisting only that we choose between them. Is there a balance? is there a common side of such extremes?...The intellectual, the inward soul, sensitive enough to see the spiritual world but not strong enough to bear the burdern it imposes. The reality of life sinking in and striking at the need of the material at hand...the need to live in the "real". The challenge is to do both: to hear the voices of the other world but live in this one...I think...
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
10. Women are Men's Inferior?
For those of you who KNOW ME and know who I am, you will NOT take offense to this. I am not a "woman hater" nor am I putting this up as my views about sex and gender. I am not sexist and I do truly believe, truly believe that in the end women are so much stronger than men...I simply intend to put it here as a topic of discussion and interest. I put it here because I wonder the OPINION of others and as a vent for myself.Motivation came from a woman who mentioned to me that I was ugly...straight out ugly...hahaha... and that it was lucky for me that I was decently smart....I was like..."WTF?!?!?!" I was told that they only way to get a woman was to "become rich and buy one!!!" haha...It started because the sister of the recently deceased asked me out and I said "I was taken." (this way for her not to ever do that again)....her reply was "is it because you think you're better than women?...well I'm hott and you're turning me down?...you should be begging me to go out with YOU." UGH!!! WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT FROM?!?...I'll confess the secret of women. Women are seen as men's inferiors. I know it is backward of me to say so, but to deny it is folly. All of mankind's riches, material and spiritual, are men's creations. Our towering cities, our science, art, and music-all built, discovered, painted, and composed by us men. Women know this. Women cannot help being overmastered and unrecognized by stronger men, and women cannot help resenting men for it. A women's love for a man is half animal passion and half hate. The more a woman loves a man, the more she hates him. If a man is worth having, he must be a woman's superior; if he is her superior, part of her must hate him. It is only in beauty (personality or physical, you choose) women surpass men, and it is therefore no wonder that women worship beauty above all else. That is why a woman is at her greatest peril in the presence of a beautiful man...If she is to be his and his only, she must respect him...she must learn from him and always know that she can grow. Women are amazing for that reason...they will give themselves to you whole heartedly and completely...if you are worthy of it.But then again, some women are just...well...ya know...B's!!! (as some of you girls can admit...as like some men are assholes to which we can admit as well)Now I realize that it is because we didn't allow women the opportunity to do these things and we have never had to give them the credit they deserve. Women are amazing and incredible, even more so than men, which is why I firmly believe in women's rights. But to tell someone that they are "butt ugly" and that they would never find anyone unless it was an encyclopedia (funny in fact) was just throwing. "you'll have to buy a woman..." ugh! I was thrown. Who was she to say that to me...to insult me when I was there to help HER family with the recent passing of her brother...such a thankless job.
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