I decided to sit here and write. I read an article this morning about the drive to "fit in"..the drive to be "normal." It stirred something in me...I can only think to myself...
"please show me a 'healthy' man and I will fix him" There is no normal folks...there is only a functioning of social expectations. We are expected to act like others....
In fact, if you think about it...it is the truly healthy man that does not cause harm to others...instead, usually, it is the man who has been beaten that tends to beat others. Only the person that has passed through the fires of their own hell, has had the courage to face their own demons and strife, will be able to overcome them- will be able to speak to others without judgments and disdain but with passion and love. His actions will be the greatest teacher of character and love...not his words...
Does this mean he is never sad or angry? NO! in fact, quite the opposite...he is able to know his feelings and emotions and acknowledge their breath within himself. As Jung says, "the word happiness would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness"
Be willing to be sad...to be angry...to be happy...live passionately...love painfully...kiss hard...screw softly...squeeze death...learn to bear the pain and happiness for you cannot move or grow until you accept what the world throws at you.
There is no meaning of life...only a meaning of YOUR life...an understanding of where you are coming from and where you are floating next. Let go of control...let go of trying to capture the world in the lens of a needle...learn that it is bigger than you and that your life is no more or less important as another.
By truly understanding ourselves...we will understand others. For knowing our own shadow, our own judgments, our own pains and soft spots, it will grant us the method and tools for dealing with the darkness in other people...for this is a real fact...if we do not mind our own souls, psyche, and love...we will be changed by the evil of others and pushed to be like them.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
137. I Can Hear You World
This blog I think is an extention of an earlier written one. As I've been too lazy to go and find...I will just write about it again. I think. The idea for this blog came from a recent movie I saw that starred George Clooney called, "men who stare at goats"
he says in it...
“Your life is like a river. If you’re aiming for a goal that isn't your destiny, you will always be swimming against the current. Young Gandhi wants to be a stock car racer? Not gonna happen. Little Anne Frank wants to be a high school teacher? Tough Anne. That's not your destiny. But you will go on to move the hearts and minds of millions. Find out what your destiny is and the river will carry you. Sometimes events in life give an individual clues as to where their destiny lies."
What does this mean? It means that not everyone that aims to be a actor is going to get it. Well duh! Now..they may work their butts off...they may do some small roles here and there...but perhaps their destiny was not in the stars to be an actor. The fact is that as you live your life, you will slowly begin to find your destiny...your drive and what you are meant to do. Listen to the world telling you where to go.
I have a friend that recently told me that he has a general grumpiness and loss of hope in people...then a day later he finds an article on yahoo that says that Accountants are the #1 job for people that don't like people- which is what he does!
Think about it. Have you ever felt that you don't belong where you are? This is a tough question...it forces you to consider the signs of the world that speak to you...but more, it forces you to almost let go of your goals and dreams...I'm not saying go and quit your jobs...and I'm not saying to throw it all away...I'm simply saying that you should always consider where you are...who you are and what you are doing.
If you have a hankering to act and can see nothing else but that...I would ask about your obsession and in turn what is your obsession holding you back from? Sometimes we get soooooo obsessed and STUCK with a thought, that no other light can come in. If you are that stuck and focused...consider how you are also blinded by it.
Not everyone will be an actor....but instead of fighting against the current...find something that the world wants you to. Go into the calling...flow with the river...not against it.
When you are willing to give into the calling of the world...it will reward you with millions calling back to you...you will find yourself brighter...open...responsive...alive and truly happy.
Consider this...if you are only into acting...yet everywhere you look...you see ballet shoes...pink tights...advertisements for dancing shows...broadway musicals...this is the world giving you a symbol...a calling almost...perhaps you should consider stripping. :)
he says in it...
“Your life is like a river. If you’re aiming for a goal that isn't your destiny, you will always be swimming against the current. Young Gandhi wants to be a stock car racer? Not gonna happen. Little Anne Frank wants to be a high school teacher? Tough Anne. That's not your destiny. But you will go on to move the hearts and minds of millions. Find out what your destiny is and the river will carry you. Sometimes events in life give an individual clues as to where their destiny lies."
What does this mean? It means that not everyone that aims to be a actor is going to get it. Well duh! Now..they may work their butts off...they may do some small roles here and there...but perhaps their destiny was not in the stars to be an actor. The fact is that as you live your life, you will slowly begin to find your destiny...your drive and what you are meant to do. Listen to the world telling you where to go.
I have a friend that recently told me that he has a general grumpiness and loss of hope in people...then a day later he finds an article on yahoo that says that Accountants are the #1 job for people that don't like people- which is what he does!
Think about it. Have you ever felt that you don't belong where you are? This is a tough question...it forces you to consider the signs of the world that speak to you...but more, it forces you to almost let go of your goals and dreams...I'm not saying go and quit your jobs...and I'm not saying to throw it all away...I'm simply saying that you should always consider where you are...who you are and what you are doing.
If you have a hankering to act and can see nothing else but that...I would ask about your obsession and in turn what is your obsession holding you back from? Sometimes we get soooooo obsessed and STUCK with a thought, that no other light can come in. If you are that stuck and focused...consider how you are also blinded by it.
Not everyone will be an actor....but instead of fighting against the current...find something that the world wants you to. Go into the calling...flow with the river...not against it.
When you are willing to give into the calling of the world...it will reward you with millions calling back to you...you will find yourself brighter...open...responsive...alive and truly happy.
Consider this...if you are only into acting...yet everywhere you look...you see ballet shoes...pink tights...advertisements for dancing shows...broadway musicals...this is the world giving you a symbol...a calling almost...perhaps you should consider stripping. :)
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Viktor Frankl
I woke up this morning with some random thoughts. I had decided to flip through an old book on my shelf and as I was reading through the pages...things popped out at me. So I thought I would put some of them down...not really as a blog...but instead...things for me to think about throughout the day.
The meaning to suffering, love and life.
Just some words from Viktor Frankl's Book "Man's Search For Meaning"
"...but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way...there is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings...
"if there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannont be complete. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity-even under the most difficult circumstances-to add a deeper meaning to his life...or in the bitter fight for self preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not."
"...but my mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise...for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth-that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire...the salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved..."
"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actuallized."
The meaning to suffering, love and life.
Just some words from Viktor Frankl's Book "Man's Search For Meaning"
"...but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way...there is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings...
"if there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannont be complete. The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity-even under the most difficult circumstances-to add a deeper meaning to his life...or in the bitter fight for self preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal. Here lies the chance for man either to make use of or to forgo the opportunities of attaining the moral values that a difficult situation may afford him. And this decides whether he is worthy of his sufferings or not."
"...but my mind clung to my wife's image, imagining it with an uncanny acuteness. I heard her answering me, saw her smile, her frank and encouraging look. Real or not, her look was then more luminous than the sun which was beginning to rise...for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth-that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which man can aspire...the salvation of man is through love and in love. I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved..."
"Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actuallized."
Thursday, November 11, 2010
To my dearest girl
25 College Street
My dearest Girl,
This moment I have set myself to copy some verses out fair. I cannot proceed with any degree of content. I must write you a line or two and see if that will assist in dismissing you from my Mind for ever so short a time. Upon my Soul I can think of nothing else - The time is passed when I had power to advise and warn you again[s]t the unpromising morning of my Life - My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my Life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving - I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you. I should be afraid to separate myself far from you. My sweet Fanny, will your heart never change? My love, will it? I have no limit now to my love - You note came in just here - I cannot be happier away from you - 'T is richer than an Argosy of Pearles. Do not threat me even in jest. I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could be martyr'd for my Religion - Love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet - You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist: and yet I could resist till I saw you; and even since I have seen you I have endeavoured often "to reason against the reasons of my Love." I can do that no more - the pain would be too great - My Love is selfish - I cannot breathe without you.
Yours for ever
John Keats
My dearest Girl,
This moment I have set myself to copy some verses out fair. I cannot proceed with any degree of content. I must write you a line or two and see if that will assist in dismissing you from my Mind for ever so short a time. Upon my Soul I can think of nothing else - The time is passed when I had power to advise and warn you again[s]t the unpromising morning of my Life - My love has made me selfish. I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my Life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving - I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you. I should be afraid to separate myself far from you. My sweet Fanny, will your heart never change? My love, will it? I have no limit now to my love - You note came in just here - I cannot be happier away from you - 'T is richer than an Argosy of Pearles. Do not threat me even in jest. I have been astonished that Men could die Martyrs for religion - I have shudder'd at it - I shudder no more - I could be martyr'd for my Religion - Love is my religion - I could die for that - I could die for you. My Creed is Love and you are its only tenet - You have ravish'd me away by a Power I cannot resist: and yet I could resist till I saw you; and even since I have seen you I have endeavoured often "to reason against the reasons of my Love." I can do that no more - the pain would be too great - My Love is selfish - I cannot breathe without you.
Yours for ever
John Keats
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
136. Just Smile
Shall we start with the loud grunting? how about skin tight clothing? Oh I know the buckets of sweat pouring down? How tired you end up feeling afterward? The hard breathing and ultimately crappy feeling you get when you're done! no no no i'm not talking about sex people...I'm talking about a gym.
There is so much material to write about at gyms that I really don't know where to start. So I've found myself going to the gym a lot more...probably because I've had trouble sleeping at night...so since I'm up anyways...I might as well go work out.
Psych!sense question. When you go to the gym do you focus more on yourself...or more on others?
Everyone has this funeral look on their face...seriously...all tense and held in the strongest bearing...it's sad.
In fact if we take a quick impromptu survey...I wonder if the women who go to gyms look at themselves more or the other women? I also wonder the same with men. If anyone want to coin in on that one hit the "philosophize" button and let me know your sex and which you look at more (yourself or others)...anyways...
I feel as if many of them, feel as I do. "I'm not strong enough...I don't look 'good' enough...I don't lift as much as s/he does...I can't grunt that loud..."
Whereas others may feel as if the gym is "me" time. It is time to focus on yourself and shut out the world for the next hour or so.
People will just stare into the mirrors holding their own eye sight and staring, oggling, or cursing their body. The range of emotions from anger, disappointment and frustration to the personal experience of success and triumph.
PSYCH!SENSE says, the most dominant form of biological information gathering is visual processing. If we see it, we then are more likely to believe it. The difficulty with this is that many of us go to the gym...do some leg or arm exercises and psychologically want to see the difference as soon as we're done. Even though we know it doesn't work like that...a part of us expects to see it.
We may even convince ourselves that there is a difference in that second...yet when we see someone that is just the bit more slender, toned, cut, blah blah blah...we suddenly feel not good enough again. sigh. I know I've been subject to this. Despite some of my readers not agreeing with me...you have had your moments as well ;)
What's interesting is that what has helped me continue going was not the drive for the perfect body...but instead just smiling at myself. Yes yes yes...weird! I know! but what I have been doing is simply looking in the mirror and smiling at my image.
What effect does this have? Like I said, visual cortex is the most dominant form of information gaterhing...my smiling in the mirror as my checks are red, my gut falling out of my speedo workout thong, and sweat dripping off my unmentionables just makes me laugh. I smile and suddenly realize that all is okay. My smiling at myself tells me to relax and be happy...life is too good and too short to let it bring you down.
So smile my good readers...smile, live long and prosper (was that just a star trek references...sigh...totally nerding out).
There is so much material to write about at gyms that I really don't know where to start. So I've found myself going to the gym a lot more...probably because I've had trouble sleeping at night...so since I'm up anyways...I might as well go work out.
Psych!sense question. When you go to the gym do you focus more on yourself...or more on others?
Everyone has this funeral look on their face...seriously...all tense and held in the strongest bearing...it's sad.
In fact if we take a quick impromptu survey...I wonder if the women who go to gyms look at themselves more or the other women? I also wonder the same with men. If anyone want to coin in on that one hit the "philosophize" button and let me know your sex and which you look at more (yourself or others)...anyways...
I feel as if many of them, feel as I do. "I'm not strong enough...I don't look 'good' enough...I don't lift as much as s/he does...I can't grunt that loud..."
Whereas others may feel as if the gym is "me" time. It is time to focus on yourself and shut out the world for the next hour or so.
People will just stare into the mirrors holding their own eye sight and staring, oggling, or cursing their body. The range of emotions from anger, disappointment and frustration to the personal experience of success and triumph.
PSYCH!SENSE says, the most dominant form of biological information gathering is visual processing. If we see it, we then are more likely to believe it. The difficulty with this is that many of us go to the gym...do some leg or arm exercises and psychologically want to see the difference as soon as we're done. Even though we know it doesn't work like that...a part of us expects to see it.
We may even convince ourselves that there is a difference in that second...yet when we see someone that is just the bit more slender, toned, cut, blah blah blah...we suddenly feel not good enough again. sigh. I know I've been subject to this. Despite some of my readers not agreeing with me...you have had your moments as well ;)
What's interesting is that what has helped me continue going was not the drive for the perfect body...but instead just smiling at myself. Yes yes yes...weird! I know! but what I have been doing is simply looking in the mirror and smiling at my image.
What effect does this have? Like I said, visual cortex is the most dominant form of information gaterhing...my smiling in the mirror as my checks are red, my gut falling out of my speedo workout thong, and sweat dripping off my unmentionables just makes me laugh. I smile and suddenly realize that all is okay. My smiling at myself tells me to relax and be happy...life is too good and too short to let it bring you down.
So smile my good readers...smile, live long and prosper (was that just a star trek references...sigh...totally nerding out).
Thursday, November 4, 2010
135. Online Dating
So because I tell myself that I need to get back on the horse with women and stop spazzing out, I joined a few dating sites. Yep. Good times. So a few interesting things have developed.
Number 1. I have discovered that dating sites are a more effective way of getting turned down faster and more often. Good times
Number 2. I have also discovered that in trying to attract women, the "asshole" approach in profiles works in the number of responses. SERIOUSLY!
For example: the old profile I had up said somethign along the lines of, "College educated, able to talk about a variety of things and is willing to try and make you smile with the random useless information I contain"
The number of responses: 1 out of 60 sent out (estimates)
the "asshole" profile instead read: "I can outsmart you...I am so freakin brilliant that I will read your mind and everything about you before you even know it :) Yes I can read minds. I can feel where you are coming from and hear you out...OH NO! "a guy that is willing to listen to you and learn who you really are"...what a shame!
The number of responses: 10 out of 52 sent out (estimates)
Another example: the old profile up said something else along the lines of, "I am extremely hard working, I do have a lot going on but enjoy my daily work and enjoy the benefits I get from it. I hope to find someone that is open to experiences and willing to enjoy life with me"
The number of responses: 1 out of 60 sent out (same profile as above)
the "asshole" profile instead read: "between my three private offices, my university teaching, my psychological assessments for state and government agencies, my medication and hospital contract work, a book being published....I'll probably force you not to pay for the first date, buy you pretty things, and demand we take trips everywhere, as we travel, but be strong enough to let you pick up the tab if you want to...Still believe in romance while being secure enough to let the woman of my life do what she wants...I'm such a punk!!"
The number of responses: 10 out of 52 sent out (same profile as the second example)
So although my "experiment" is still going on...I'm slowly beginning to notice a trend. Very, very interesting. I suppose the pick-up artist patient I had a while back ago was right...treat them badly, act cocky and they will swoon for your every embrace. ...sigh
Where is the love? ya know? Don't we just miss the feelings of being in love? the feelings of relying and knowing that for that moment they are all that matter to us. The fact that they begin to evolve...our love begins to take on new meaning in our lives...
As an old patient once told me...."the world has a new way to spin...it spins around Helen." Or as George Bernard Shaw says, "love is when we are overestimating the differences of one woman over another" hahaha...
You are able to list all the bad things you can't stand about them...and simply toss that aside and focus intently on all the things you do like about them...Thank you Chaucer "Love is blind."
Ever notice how when you're in love...their car in a structure full of cars...is truly different from everyone elses car....how their wine glass is truly special among everyone elses at the dinner table.
You feel absolute joy when things are goign well...and mood swings and despair when they are sad and down...."Anything s/he likes...I like....to fight the world, she but need ask me to"
When did you last love?
Reference: Fisher, H. "Why We Love"
Number 1. I have discovered that dating sites are a more effective way of getting turned down faster and more often. Good times
Number 2. I have also discovered that in trying to attract women, the "asshole" approach in profiles works in the number of responses. SERIOUSLY!
For example: the old profile I had up said somethign along the lines of, "College educated, able to talk about a variety of things and is willing to try and make you smile with the random useless information I contain"
The number of responses: 1 out of 60 sent out (estimates)
the "asshole" profile instead read: "I can outsmart you...I am so freakin brilliant that I will read your mind and everything about you before you even know it :) Yes I can read minds. I can feel where you are coming from and hear you out...OH NO! "a guy that is willing to listen to you and learn who you really are"...what a shame!
The number of responses: 10 out of 52 sent out (estimates)
Another example: the old profile up said something else along the lines of, "I am extremely hard working, I do have a lot going on but enjoy my daily work and enjoy the benefits I get from it. I hope to find someone that is open to experiences and willing to enjoy life with me"
The number of responses: 1 out of 60 sent out (same profile as above)
the "asshole" profile instead read: "between my three private offices, my university teaching, my psychological assessments for state and government agencies, my medication and hospital contract work, a book being published....I'll probably force you not to pay for the first date, buy you pretty things, and demand we take trips everywhere, as we travel, but be strong enough to let you pick up the tab if you want to...Still believe in romance while being secure enough to let the woman of my life do what she wants...I'm such a punk!!"
The number of responses: 10 out of 52 sent out (same profile as the second example)
So although my "experiment" is still going on...I'm slowly beginning to notice a trend. Very, very interesting. I suppose the pick-up artist patient I had a while back ago was right...treat them badly, act cocky and they will swoon for your every embrace. ...sigh
Where is the love? ya know? Don't we just miss the feelings of being in love? the feelings of relying and knowing that for that moment they are all that matter to us. The fact that they begin to evolve...our love begins to take on new meaning in our lives...
As an old patient once told me...."the world has a new way to spin...it spins around Helen." Or as George Bernard Shaw says, "love is when we are overestimating the differences of one woman over another" hahaha...
You are able to list all the bad things you can't stand about them...and simply toss that aside and focus intently on all the things you do like about them...Thank you Chaucer "Love is blind."
Ever notice how when you're in love...their car in a structure full of cars...is truly different from everyone elses car....how their wine glass is truly special among everyone elses at the dinner table.
You feel absolute joy when things are goign well...and mood swings and despair when they are sad and down...."Anything s/he likes...I like....to fight the world, she but need ask me to"
When did you last love?
Reference: Fisher, H. "Why We Love"
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
134. S.I.T.
What in the world is S.I.T.?!?!?
oh come on! it's soooo obvious? how about now? now? ...geez...
Now yes...what I'm about to write really, really, really is prejudice!...sorry...Guilty! ..right here.
JUST FYI....do not read if you don't feel like getting frazzled a bit...
okay you've been warned!
So I've decided in this moment to say that "SIT" stands for "slut in training"
What does that mean? Holloween just passed. YAY! everyone get all dressed up? get yo' hair and nails did all holloween style?
How many freakin vampires were there? SIGH...good ol' Happy Tooth decay and Skankwear day!
Imagine this if you will.
You are driving down the road...pulling into your driveway, a burger king...whatever...when you look up and see the the skimpiest outfit you've ever seen. Oh you know what i'm talking about...a two piece swimsuit that just covers the nipples....a bottom that is more like a thong and a couple pieces of toilet paper at their feet...what are they supposed to be?
The little mermaid.
NOw I understand this...I do...we all want to be our favorite characters and such...but why would you dress up your 5,6,7,8,9 etc....year old in that kind of wear!??!?!
How many mother's and father's allowed their children to dress in the skimpiest, sluttiest, most revealing clothing ever just in the name of holloween? I don't get it. Parents have such an effect on their children...SUCH AN EFFECT...everything you let them get away with...they will..not because they are trying to manipulate you...but because you let them. This 5 year old two piece wearing baby will is learning that it's okay to dress to openly.
Granted, I understand that it was a holiday...I get it. The question remains though...why o' why does a 5 year old wear booty thongs?
Someone give me some psychobabbo sense on that one!
oh come on! it's soooo obvious? how about now? now? ...geez...
Now yes...what I'm about to write really, really, really is prejudice!...sorry...Guilty! ..right here.
JUST FYI....do not read if you don't feel like getting frazzled a bit...
okay you've been warned!
So I've decided in this moment to say that "SIT" stands for "slut in training"
What does that mean? Holloween just passed. YAY! everyone get all dressed up? get yo' hair and nails did all holloween style?
How many freakin vampires were there? SIGH...good ol' Happy Tooth decay and Skankwear day!
Imagine this if you will.
You are driving down the road...pulling into your driveway, a burger king...whatever...when you look up and see the the skimpiest outfit you've ever seen. Oh you know what i'm talking about...a two piece swimsuit that just covers the nipples....a bottom that is more like a thong and a couple pieces of toilet paper at their feet...what are they supposed to be?
The little mermaid.
NOw I understand this...I do...we all want to be our favorite characters and such...but why would you dress up your 5,6,7,8,9 etc....year old in that kind of wear!??!?!
How many mother's and father's allowed their children to dress in the skimpiest, sluttiest, most revealing clothing ever just in the name of holloween? I don't get it. Parents have such an effect on their children...SUCH AN EFFECT...everything you let them get away with...they will..not because they are trying to manipulate you...but because you let them. This 5 year old two piece wearing baby will is learning that it's okay to dress to openly.
Granted, I understand that it was a holiday...I get it. The question remains though...why o' why does a 5 year old wear booty thongs?
Someone give me some psychobabbo sense on that one!
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