So because I tell myself that I need to get back on the horse with women and stop spazzing out, I joined a few dating sites. Yep. Good times. So a few interesting things have developed.
Number 1. I have discovered that dating sites are a more effective way of getting turned down faster and more often. Good times
Number 2. I have also discovered that in trying to attract women, the "asshole" approach in profiles works in the number of responses. SERIOUSLY!
For example: the old profile I had up said somethign along the lines of, "College educated, able to talk about a variety of things and is willing to try and make you smile with the random useless information I contain"
The number of responses: 1 out of 60 sent out (estimates)
the "asshole" profile instead read: "I can outsmart you...I am so freakin brilliant that I will read your mind and everything about you before you even know it :) Yes I can read minds. I can feel where you are coming from and hear you out...OH NO! "a guy that is willing to listen to you and learn who you really are"...what a shame!
The number of responses: 10 out of 52 sent out (estimates)
Another example: the old profile up said something else along the lines of, "I am extremely hard working, I do have a lot going on but enjoy my daily work and enjoy the benefits I get from it. I hope to find someone that is open to experiences and willing to enjoy life with me"
The number of responses: 1 out of 60 sent out (same profile as above)
the "asshole" profile instead read: "between my three private offices, my university teaching, my psychological assessments for state and government agencies, my medication and hospital contract work, a book being published....I'll probably force you not to pay for the first date, buy you pretty things, and demand we take trips everywhere, as we travel, but be strong enough to let you pick up the tab if you want to...Still believe in romance while being secure enough to let the woman of my life do what she wants...I'm such a punk!!"
The number of responses: 10 out of 52 sent out (same profile as the second example)
So although my "experiment" is still going on...I'm slowly beginning to notice a trend. Very, very interesting. I suppose the pick-up artist patient I had a while back ago was right...treat them badly, act cocky and they will swoon for your every embrace. ...sigh
Where is the love? ya know? Don't we just miss the feelings of being in love? the feelings of relying and knowing that for that moment they are all that matter to us. The fact that they begin to evolve...our love begins to take on new meaning in our lives...
As an old patient once told me...."the world has a new way to spin...it spins around Helen." Or as George Bernard Shaw says, "love is when we are overestimating the differences of one woman over another" hahaha...
You are able to list all the bad things you can't stand about them...and simply toss that aside and focus intently on all the things you do like about them...Thank you Chaucer "Love is blind."
Ever notice how when you're in love...their car in a structure full of cars...is truly different from everyone elses car....how their wine glass is truly special among everyone elses at the dinner table.
You feel absolute joy when things are goign well...and mood swings and despair when they are sad and down...."Anything s/he likes...I like....to fight the world, she but need ask me to"
When did you last love?
Reference: Fisher, H. "Why We Love"
what does " 10 out of 52 sent out (estimates) "
ReplyDeletemean?
is that 10 ladies responding?
is there an age range you have selected for the ladies you are looking for?
the second profile makes it seem like you have some $$ to spend... also, if most people are likely to try and sound nice and kosher, then someone who sounds more like a d.b. would sound more realistic... perhaps even jaded by love
like some ladies who find themselves on these sights might be
- love is when the person you are with sees you for the person you think you are - the farmer from Babe, talking to Robin from Batman Forver/batman and Robin in The Bachelor
I dont think it made him sound like he has money but i do think it makes him sound like a cocky @$$ hole. But it was still good.
ReplyDeleteIt goes both ways. For whatever reason both men and women often pass up the nicest/sweetest person for the a-hole. We need to snap out of it and really look at who's in front of us and what that person can genuinely offer us in a non-materialistic way. Granted gifts are always nice and appreciated, but it definitely should not be the basis for a relationship.
ReplyDelete@juanton soop...I think you're on to something there...jaded by love...burnt out...tired and therefore expecting of the worse...hmmm...sounds like a blog topic...
ReplyDelete@anon and gaby...I was kinda going for the cocky asshole...I think I did it just to sadly make a point/experiment that perhaps the opposite sex is more open to blunt, in yo' face, ass hole ness than ol' school love and honesty. Sigh. ALthough I think some of the women that did reply to me were able to see past the blatant cocky crap for the person underneath.
What can the person offer us in a non-materialistic way...great question...MOre than that..I wonder if people care enough for the non-material stuff anymore...
when the "non-material" stuff becomes more important to someone than the "material/aesthetic" attributes,
ReplyDeletethen the "non-material" becomes the "material"
because people will seek out characteristics in others that they think will add value to a relationship or their lives... whether it be a hot body, $$ or a hilarious list of dirty jokes
...
people want to know, "what can i gain from spending time with this person?
a partner?
a lover?
a friend?
a free dinner, and if i time it right, a birthday/christmas/valentines/pastiel day gift?
... "
if you are not pre-occupying yourself with looking for a specific attribute or benefit from dating someone... then you might just find that something special that makes you say... yep, i found him/her