115. It Burns On The Inside

"Yo,

I find myself always blowing up on people. I know that its not like their fault and stuff but somtimes I just get mad and like scream at people. The other day I got home from work and when I walked in my wife came to kiss me and I could just feel myself like irratated or something for reals. I'm like not sleeping regular and I am not eating the same either, its weird. I don't like hit anyone and I dont hit things but like I feel like I gotta to let out my anger. Drinking helps so I just have like 2 a nite to help me do better. Do I need like anger management clases or something. what is going on with me."

-Angry Guy


First off Angry let me say that it takes a whole lot of cajones to ask something like this...big ol' cajones...like..huge bigger than my cajones big...

okay okay lets be real...

no way are they bigger.


Anyways, you are lashing out at others...screaming at others....irritated....not sleeping well...and not eating well...

I would say you're angry sure...but actually...I think you're depressed.

It's true...I think you're sad really underneath all the anger. Here's the thing...when you are a baby and lack the ability to talk (with words), lack the ability to text or type out your feelings...you cried. Babies will cry as a means of expression for their feelings...this is how they get what they need...YOU CRY for the entire world to hear.

The baby is experiencing
"I'm hungry" = Crying
"I'm wet" = Crying
"Where are you" = Crying
"I'm sad" = Crying

see where you fit in? Adults have the same method of getting attention...we adults "can't" cry because well..let's be honest...we men don't cry right? but what do we do? WE GET MAD! We don't know how to let it out in any other way because we haven't been taught how to or told that it's okay to let it out in another way...

Imagine an Iceberg



See that top part? that's anger...that's the only thing we see. But really underneath the water is all that other crap. Underneath the water is where you see sadness, despair, depression...

Usually you will find that with people. come on readers!!! we know this if you have been reading the blog long enough...what you see is fake...I mean it's real anger and emotion...but it's not the real feeling that's under the water. Only when you chip away at the top does the iceberg begin to rise and rise and rise (heyo! giggidy).

So when you are angry really feel and try and pinpoint where the anger is coming from...what in your life is underneath the anger...underneath the water...besides sharks...damn sharks scare me...anyways...yeah.

Drinking...drugs...etc are ways for you to avoid feeling...to numb yourself...this is why so many use drugs...they numb themselves to everything as a way to feel peace. You should not numb..you should engage...as for hitting things...well I'm torn on that because you don't want to train yourself to physically lash out on something...because then you train yourself to do it even when you may not want to...say on a person.

Learn to talk about your feelings. If you come home and are irritated I want you to think about your day...or week...or random conversation you had with someone that just absolutely pissed you off or upset you...more than likely you got mad at someone or something and are taking it out on someone else. Only when you do this will you actually understand where your anger is from and let it out calmly.

For example:

customer comes in says, "hey you, last night I was with your mom and jabba the hutt at the same time as she was going down on my wookie"

you then say, "would you like fries with that"

....

see...instead of engaging (which I know many of you would) you instead push it off...you suffocate your feelings...then you forget about it...go home and get pissed at your family or friends and don't know why. The answer is because you were saddened and upset at the earlier comment but didn't let it out. You are sooo angry with yourself (internal angry at self) for not letting it out that you are saddened (depression) by it. You then go home and kill the neighbors without knowing why (anger).

When you feel the rage come on:
1. Recognize you are angry or irritated
2. Think about your day or week or situation that may be the real reason for anger and sadness
3. Talk about your anger or irritation and where it is from
4. Engage with something to help work out the emotional energy (no punching!) I absolutely suggest talking to something that can hear you completely without saying anything in return but simply listening without trying to fix it.

VOILA! easier said than done but that's how you do a cleveland steamroller ....no I mean...work with anger.

114. E = MC-utie

"HEY BLOGGER I'M PISSED ABOUT THIS OLD ARTICLE! WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT IT?"

http://www.livescience.com/health/080410-couples-beauty.html

Hello there writer...why all the caps? why are you yelling at me? hehe.

Turns out, for attraction..Females need to look good. Males need to have good personalities.

WHAT?!?!?


yes it's true apparently, as men are more into physical attractiveness and women are into the entire whole, it goes to show one of simplest differences in the male and female biology/psychology.

Apparently a woman needs to find a male that, although looks initially attract, has a good personality. Men on the other hand need to find a good looker. period.

One of my really good friends and philosopher tells me,

"my uncle told me something as a teenager that stuck with me these 20 some odd years...he told me...men can be bald, overweight and butt fuck ugly....bithches you need to shower twice...stay curvy, thin, and looking good."

WOW!!! that is just sad...

Although I understand it...women I suppose tend to be harder on themselves physically than men...I suppose they must also be in constant competition from other women which is really sad...for women....great for bald, overweight and butt fuck ugly guys.

What do we do about this? As you have heard me preach about before -learn to challenge your own perceptions and perspectives!!!

First off..women..screw the whole competition thing!!! screw it! There is something in the psychology world called "contrast effect" this is when women base their looks off of the things that surround them. SO if you base your looks off of models and actors and sexy people...you will feel ugly...if you base it off of the average person or those slightly uglier than you...you will feel pretty.

With that being said, stop comparing yourselves to the cover model and instead find the amazingly pretty things that you already have. Imagine this... if everyone is worried about how they look and how horrible they appear...then it goes to say that they don't really pay that much attention to others.

That's the hard part though...our brains have a hot or not meter in us that is always collecting data based off our past our family and how others have treated us.

Here's your PSYCH!SENSE example:

If you think...what do I want to look like? you think let me check out a cover model or beach body or magazine and compare myself to it...THIS IS WRONG!

If you think...how smart am I? You don't think...hmm....Einstein...now let me compare myself to him...

Yet this is what people do all the time...they see an "ideal body" and aim to have one just like it...yet when thinking "I want to be smart" they don't compare themselves to Einstein...get it?


We have lost the drive to put soul and intelligence into our lives in exchange for the hot piece of ass without the brains or soul. Remember that CHARM can always trump the beauty card.

Men...get your heads out of your ass! Find the love and soul in the female in your life...learn to focus outside of her looks outside how she looks in a two piece...focus on the person she is..

...and if she can cook

113. I want it NOW!

"Why is it that there is a need for younger kids to have things 'right now' instead of saving and building"


I was talking to an old friend of mine recently who was talking to me about his younger brother wanting to buy a home. The younger brother is in his early twenties, is recently married and holds a stable job. Up until he got married he had lived with his older brother (my friend) for many years..saving money...working..etc.

My older friend tells me, "How is it that he wants to buy a home already? My wife and I had to pay rent for yeeeeaaaarrsss...had to buy used appliances, had to wait for anything...."

I think this show's a prime example of our time. The drive for "now"....the drive for I want/need it this moment.

PSYCH!SENSE tells me that many hardworking older generation people truly had to save, build and wait for their goods...as they had children, their children did not have to work so hard...in fact...they didn't know the difference between used or new clothes...between "good" food and "bad" food...they just knew food. Were they forced to find a job? no...were they forced to work for anything?

I only mention this because our newer generation I feel has lost the traditional values of working and saving. We have become so stuck with how something looks and presents that we've lost contact and sense with what "is" and how we hold things dearly. It's like an all or nothing attitude.

I will get the best looking car!
I will buy my home right now and be in debt for the rest of my life so that I can look good.

Now there are certain younger generations who have found the ability to save what they have...most likely it was because they were brought up with the ideals of saving and working hard as they were probably forced to work hard as a young child.

These are things though that only the wise can explain. They have lived through it, have created their home and have worked hard for what they have...it is only through their teaching that this can all be seen and learned. Challenge yourself to not have it "now" instill the old ideas of "layaway" and the ideals of patience. Things that many of us have forgotten about....

Pwned!

Which character did you see first? which do you feel you relate to more?

112. Are We There Yet?

Quick! what's your next goal?

come on...

come on...

what's next?

Now..maybe I'm not old enough to know what is next...perhaps i'm just not quite quick enough to think of the answer but like many people out there...we really dont' know. I'm not saying that can't live without a goal...I'm simply say that you must be willing to find your direction.

Many people that I see often tell me..."I don't know where I'm going in my life...I don't know what's going to happen..I don't know even what makes me happy"

That's a different blog topic in itself...What makes you happy....

anyways, a lot of these people have no future goal...no future "happy" place...think about it...when growing up...we thought...damn..the school year is over for summer in 1 month...you let the anticipation grow....you let it build and when it finally gets here what happens? you feel sooooo free! SOOOOOO FREE!! you hear the bell ring and suddenly you are the happiest person alive knowing that you have vacation.

Remember that crush you had back in grade school? you see them walking...you want to talk to them...to hook up with them to have them ya know...do stuff ...with you. yeah. you know. Then weeks before the big dance you work up the courage to ask them out, pick out your clothes, you reherse what you're going to say, you pick out the day of the week to do it...most likely a friday so that they dont have to see you the next day...and then you ask them out...and they say...."no" but then you find them dumped at the dance...drunk and you get to make out with them without all the work...this is a goal moment. j/k.

see the power of goals though? they push us...they create a sense of urge and drive in us that we need to follow. Goals help to lead us to do what is necessary to get there. Vacation is coming..I need to get good grades....the girl is hot...I need to work out more....

What do we have as adults in relation to that?

A better question is...what do we have as adults that we can strive for? many work the nine to five...day in and day out not knowing where to go next...they may have stopped growing. Others continue to go to school...I did this degree...now I should do this one...now I should do this one...and on and on and on....

If you have a family....perhaps your goal now becomes raising a strong loving child...that's is amazing..what other goal do you have for yourself? maybe learn an instrument...learn to knit....learn to strip...learn to write...find your own goal..find your own motivation...

When people come see me and tell me that they have no drive, motivation or purpose...I ask them to find one. I work with them in finding something in their life to build on and work towards.

Some choose to try and learn an instrument..others drive to learn how to cook...while others devote themselves to reading my blog....push yourself to be a more complete person...don't do it something new once and say, "i'm not interested" then move on-

...challenge yourself to try it many times before making a judgment...aim for a goal- only then will you be a better person..a more complete person...someone slowly becoming more whole.

what is your goal? where to next?

are you there yet?

111. Flying solo

So I went to a party the other day where we started talking about our weekends. I had told them that I went to the movies and their response? "ohhhhh damn...dr. drew's got a hot date..nice...who is she? where is she from? what does she do?"...my response? "I went by myself.." their response, "What? are you depressed? lonely? sad? gay? whats wrong? dude! lets find you a prostitute..damn! we're sorry..."

the entire world had crumbled in their eyes if I had gone to the movies alone. WTF?!?!

PSYCH!SENSE question: Going to the movies alone...are you seen as weird or lonely?

Now I haven't quite figured out the question so i'm sorry. One of my friends had told me..."You just don't go to the movies alone...it shows that you're sad and lonely"

now apparently as he was growing up it was just second nature to have someone go with you..a brother, a sister...a neighbor...something. He would go with another person...all the time. Maybe it was about safety..maybe it was about having company..but in either case, it was about not being the loner.

PSYCH!SENSE tells me that our family of origin and our family /cultural beliefs kinda instill this idea. If you were raised going out with others..being around others..you'll find comfort in continuing this habit.

Which means...anything outside this belief is weird and outside the "norm"

For example: Those who were beat as little kids...those who were abused will have a higher chance of hitting their children when they have them because their parents did it to them...and most likely in that community...the neighbor's kids were beat as well. This is learned behavior..it is "normal" to hit kids...

Here's the thing though...our potential for growth...our drive to be better stems from our ability to do things outside our comfort zone- Outside what we've always known to be "normal" and "true"

Despite your feeling comfortable and happy in your comfort zone...try and face that which irritates, frustrates, worries or scares you. We must be willing to lean over the edge of our fears...walking the fine line between fear and peace. Challenge the cliff...don't jump. Do what bugs you!...this is how you grow as a person.

anyways...I recently saw an article about how to "look less awkward when eating alone" that was on yahoo. It was things like..."bring a book with you...play on the phone...bring papers with you so you look like you're busy..."

although this is all find and dandy...why does it have to say "look less awkward..." There is nothing wrong with eating alone...sitting alone and people watching...having peaceful meal...and enjoying the time. Sit in the moment and love what you are experiencing..fully live in that moment. When you do it...try and focus on what you feel...you may feel lonely...you may feel sad...you may feel upset...but whatever it is...fully engage with the feelings and explore where it comes from. Grow my wonderful philosophers...GROW!!!

For those that find this difficult I challenge you to eat out alone...to go to the movies alone...to find peace in solitude...on the other hand...for those like me who enjoy the quiet solitutde...find a eating partner...a movie goer..someone that challenges your sense of solitutde. This will allow for you to face the feelings you get from going out with others. Those will others may get feelings of having to please the other person...having to make it comfortable for them...having to try and fill the silence with talk which may be too troublesome...whatever it is..allow yourself to feel the feelings that come with it.

Now of course I can already hear the responses, "I can go out alone if I want to....I can go out in groups if I want to...." for many of you...that wonderful...but for other readers...they may find it hard to do these because of the awkward feelings they get.

challenge yourself.

110. "I've got...SSSSSSSteam Heat"

The year was 2004 and I was sent to Iraq. I can remember jumping onto that C130 jet flying across the world to engage in combat that could probably end my life. Amongst all the racing thoughts, the fear of death, the fear of the unknown and the ultimate worry about the loss that would ensue- all I could think about was..."dammit..there is only one woman here for 80 guys..."

So in my unit we had like one woman...let me also say, she was ugly. I hate to use such a word when describing anyone, but consider a lost front tooth, ginger with red hair and like...blonde eyebrows...yeah...one of those. Physical features..yeah...acne scars (bad too)...I mean..she was a Marine sure..but boy, she was..yeah...yeah.

She was one of boys though...she was hardcore, could out drink many marines when we went out, she would pick fights with others, throw punches and curse like no other. hahah...she had once told us that she had only been laid once- by her cousin. True.

Well...we went to Iraq and while over there...about 10 month into it..some of the guys started getting a bit...ya know..desperate....ya know...horny. well who did they turn to? you got it...me. I started to pimp her out. kidding.

She did end up hooking up with just about 60 guys..gross I know. Plus I think she was getting paid for it..but that's a different story. The thing about it is that she began to develop a strong cockiness...strong cockiness! She thought she was Buddha reincarnate...she thought she was the shit because..well..everyone was on her tits.

PSYCH!SENSE question: Is self esteem built because of who we are or does it only exist because people feed it to us?

Let's jump into it. A strong sense of self worth, strong value system and established foundation in who you are are keys to having a strong self esteem...as well as sleeping with desperate blog writers.

Now we all know when you see a hot....overly hot...lavish and peacocking man or woman walking by screaming to the world how hot they are...the more likely they feel like crap on the inside. If they deny it..yeah...it's even worse.

Some people though are born with just great looks. I mean...they are born...and somehow things just work out and they become hot...like all asians. well..only the ones born in the U.S....because if born in other countries they tned to be damn fugly...seriously right? you see one and you're like...damn!?!!? get yo' teeth did...wear deodorant...go to the U.S. because young asian women there are sexy...anyways...

PSYCH!SENSE tells us that those born hot are told from an early age, "hey baby..I wanna knock the boots with ya..." now yes...that's vulgar but isn't it true? if you are used to being told how beautiful you are...if you are used to being told how sexy and hot you are...if you are constantly hit on...you then believe it and accept it. This is the "fool's gold" of self esteem. If wasn't built or earned...it was just given. Just like with children...when told negative things all their lives growing up...what happens? well that's easy ...they become sad, depressed and exhibit low self esteem...see! same thing with looks.

Now those born with...well..slightly less than perfect "hotness" (unlike me of course), must rely on good ol' hard work and sweat to build their self esteem. They have to accomplish things, complete their life's missions and build their own self of wonderful self.

Haven't you all heard that joke? ugly people have to be good at sex....because they have to have something to keep the partner around...hot people get it all the time so they don't have to worry about developing their sex game. HA!

So when we came back from Iraq...this same marine gal that I wrote about earlier would go to the bar...to the club...to all these places with the same thought, "everyone wants to do me..i'm so hot." well...as you could guess...she was turned down flat each time. She didn't develop the mental toughness and self esteem needed to back up her being rejected...this hurt her.

Now I realize it goes back to the answer of...well it's both and neither. It is created and fed by others...but it is also never created but instead many are fooled into believing they are hot and in turn the false self esteem.

How do you know which you are...well...only you can answer that in the deepest of your thoughts. Although I realize self esteem is more than physical looks and traits...duh...but for the sake of this blog and sitting in thought consider it from only the physical perspective. If you went out in public and someone walks up to you and says, "hahahah...you're fucken ugly" could you take it? now yes..it would upset us, that's granted...but would that comment kill your day? probably. Kill your week? maybe. Kill your month? whoa. Kill your year? ouch.

many would say, "no...that's his problem" but in being honest with yourself in acknowledging the pain you feel you must ask: How long does that comment hurt for? a day..sure...a week? maybe...here is your test, how strong is your self of self? how long does it hurt for is a good way to measure your sense of *physical esteem.

what do the philosophers think?

109. Play The Game

This topic is almost an expanding of an earlier blog topic named "what do you ask of me"

PSYCH!SENSE question: If you are expected to act in a certain way at a certain place do you do it?

For those of you who may have read my England blog you'll read that I found myself surrounded by certain expectations. I was told by some buds of mine that genenerally American's are seen as "fat, loud and stupid." ...hm...I can't argue that about myself...because well let's face it..that is me. But it's not the case for many other Americans.

I start with this because I found myself instead of fighting the stereotype...engaging with it. I would purpose make myself louder...make myself into the social butterfly...make myself into the stereotype. The difference? I would purposely get in under that stereotype but then try and overcome it through my actual personality.

Consider this...we often find ourselves in a situation where we will often say, "yeah yeah..I gotta play the game" meaning...I have to go along with whatever is happening. Our lives are filled with such roles and expectations.

Examples:
You go and meet your partner's family and for the first time are really, really nice...despite you actually being a manipulative bitch...you are playing the game

You go to a club...try and use psychobabbo philosophy and talk to an attractive person..both you and him/her know that you are only doing it because you want to get laid :) welcome!...you are playing the game

You are at work and you know that you are meant to put on a smart professional outlook instead of admitting that you just slept with the manager as you were trying to get a head (heyo!!...dirty). You are playing the game

Now am I saying that if you are black that you go out and rob people? or jewish and horde money? or even mexican and sleep on the job? (damn...that was racist)....NO! i'm saying that you must be willing to accept the part of the stereotype or game piece that you are expected to play...in an effort to know their side and overcome it.

In therapy, the therapist will often hear that person's side...their perspective...build the rapport that way by being present and allowing the person to be at ease. We don't engage initially and we don't automatically tear into their lives...we simply listen. This is our piece we are meant to play. This is our game. It is only in time that we are able to work the game in our favor.

Think about it! we often will go on a date...offer open ear and be such amazing people..but after time we realize..."OH I don't have to do that anymore because i'm already in..." then we stop doing it. You play the game....

Guys will often want to get into sex...bam bam bam...but we all know that the lady wants the foreplay...(trust me...guys like it too...just not so long...ugh) ...anyways..guys would be willing to skip that...but we go through foreplay as a way of playing the game necessary to "WARM" her up so we can...ya know...get giggidy.

I recently got a luxury car. SIGH! I know...I find myself asking myself why I should drive it...it was only through meditation and contemplation that I figured out...I was playing the game. With many of my patients...they expect a certain role..a certain game to be played...professionalism...I play the game...until I get in where I can work with them in a different type of way.

I allow myself to engage with the game and play the role that is initially expected at the hope that I will have the opportunity to engage with it in a different way afterward.

108. The Land of Eng's

So I decided last minute to fly out to England. Totally last minute. as in...three hours I just online, buy a ticket and find myself at the airport 1 hour after that..

First the "bad"

Now for those of you that know me...you know that I tend to come off with a huge personality...as in I tend to joke around a lot...I smile often...I make inappropriate comment in every other sentence because..well...it tends to break the ice. So to my english friends that are reading this...it's all meant in good comedy!!

In england though it is a bit different. Through my multiple attempts and failures at talking to people in pubs, train stations and general interactions I have decided that the English are highly anxious (nervous), suspicious (of other's intentions) and generally closed off to new people.

Although there really isn't a PSYCH!SENSE question today...I found this a good avenue to talk about culture.

For the most part...many people here have decided that mental health is kinda ...well..only for crazies. not that american's find it that glamourous either, the English are..well..worse?

Consider this...when you tell someone, "have a nice day" they take it as, "um.. F-you...you want something from me..that's why you said it."

WTF!?!? it's true though...ask an English person. They tend to believe that you only say nice things like that (despite your meaning it) because you want something from them.

When you ask a stranger, "what time is it?" their first response is..."oh..uh..you want to rob me?"

I would call this paranoia..highly anxious behavior. The argument is that..if the entire country acts like this and doesn't know it...does it really exist? meaning...if it is the norm to walk about naked all day in that country...is the person who visits wearing clothes the one that needs help? yes.

They may acknowledge their weird...fear and general distrust of strangers but to admit.."man..maybe i'm a bit too nervous about others"...that is something they may not be able to do.

Makes us wonder what we do daily that may appear normal to us...but to the outsider..may appear peculiar. Our family upbringing tend to have that effect on us...they tend to teach us things and habits that may appear to be normal and good but to the outsider be strange and just plain weird.

NOW THE GOOD!

But allowing the benefit of the argument...I did end up meeting sooooo many extremely funny, sweet and nice English people that if they lived closer we would end up partying and joking around all day. They bought me drinks...tried to hook me up with random women...taught me English phrases and the most random words that I would have never guessed. Allow me to tell you what I was taught...besides the random PSYCHO!SENSE stuff from up top.

So let's be funny on this part:
things I have learned:

When extremely, extremely, extremely drunk...put a tie around your forehead. This will allow you to dance better.

I have to find an English wife...wow..I get why women ogle over a male english accent..it does wonders for a male hearing a female's...yummy

Calling a woman a "fit bird" is actually a compliment...use it often

American's are generally seen as fat and stupid. I was not the exception..(except for maybe my ability to out talk, out smart and out drink them all...bam!) or maybe I was just really drunk and thought I did.

Dogging - an activity in which strangers meet up on hilltops to engage in casual sex. Flasing the cabin light of the car means you're allowed to watch...keeping headlights on means you can join.

In England...all pubs must be shut down by 11pm due to noise and alcohol laws. WTF!?!!? that means you have an extremely short amount of time to take advantage of...they start drinking early...quickly and are usually in bed by 11:30 pm....and then home by 9 am. HEYO!!!

Bukkaki - when several partners finish on the same person...

They don't use the word "man" or "dude" for example, the translation for "hey man" should be.."hey mate"...in America...this would put you as...well...gay...in England it makes you a homie. yeah..

Anything sounds so much smarter when you use an English accent...I think i almost have mine down.

"The Banger Brothers : Best Sausage in Town" is not what you think..it's actually a chain restaurant...


special shout out to: The bartletts (they cooked and set up lodging for me), Rob for watching out for me, Marisa for being my fellow American but often sold me out, The new Mrs. Rebel (thank you for the invite to the wedding..sorry my leg is broken...but congrats on being part of the Rebel Alliance now)...Tom and Tanya...you guys are just so freakin fun...thank you for teaching me about bukkaki and dogging..and thank you for not demonstrating either. To the brides maids (HEYO!) laura, I hope that you and Ed come over to visit..congrats on the upcoming wedding, Beth, you are one cute little thang. Gemma (jaw dropping*...damn..just damn...give me the word and I will fly back) Emily, you came to the pub the night before and tolerated all my invasive questions...you are so cool! Chris, Ben, james, john, john, matt, andy, hannah, sara, lucy, lynn, julia, uh...then the night gets fuzzy...and I forget names...but thank you for the laughs and conversation!

107. Hold My Hand

Hello Children of the Corn...no wait...readers.

This was introduced by Mike K.

This is a huge qeustion I know...it is...but lets give you an example.

Let's say youre at a restaurant and as you're sitting there you hear two people to the right of you having an argument about Spongebob. Let's say one of them says, "NO! spongebob's best friend is not name patrick, his name is crabs" and then the other guy jumps in, "HELL NO! his best friend is name patrick not crabs!!"

now...becuase you have kids that watch it or even a 27 year old friend that has you watch it when you come visit him at his home while he eats cereal and sits in his boxers...you know that the answer is patrick.

is it your responsiblity to tell them, "hey gents! it's patrick!"

PSYCH!SENSE question: is it our responsibility to help others?

Now this was a simple example...but we may have discovered..as we hear problems from our friends...family...strangers or strippers...we sometimes want to offer our opinion because we have been reading this blog and may understand how to give words that could help.

Mike K. says that if we do we must be willing to "walk with them." In other words, if someone is going through a divorce...arguing about the size of Ron Jeremy's member or even the name of spongebob's best friend, we must be willing to stay with them, talk about the suggested and be with the person for a while as they work through it.

This makes sense if they are friends. If you have friends and they come to you...I feel that it then becomes your moral duty to help them if you can. If you cannot offer them so much help...it then becomes your responsibility to walk with them to where you can and tell them.

what about with stranger? I suppose it depends on the location...on the subject and what you know about it. If someone is talking about spongebob's friend and i'm feeling social..I may offer the answer...if two stranger are talking about divorce that one of them just went through..hmm...I may consider sitting quietly reading my Home and Garden magazine. But should I say anything? I believe so. Perhaps in moments of stress and anger, torment and pain we should all be so lucky as to have someone sit down with us and offer a friendly ear.

what do you do?