34. How to phrase compliments

So in my course of giving compliments to others I have been asking how to do it....I ask because I keep getting the wrong reaction and overall wrong response from other when I do it. They either look at me weird, question why i'm asking or think that i'm trying to sell them something. Am I to believe that we live in a society where we can't give compliments to one another? Where people are to an extant distrusting to others? But more...I find that giving compliments to guys more accepting...as in, they will take the compliment much better than women that tend to think that you're just trying to get in their pants...I think. I 've asked women and men and this is the information I have gathered (see examples below). Note that these responses were told to me from 4 different women and 2 different guys.this is what has come up..what do you guys think out there?Imagine a girl wearing a "fancy purple cardigan sweater with an intricate design on one side of it" I mean I realize you have to see it...but it was very nicehow would a girl like to be complimented?If a girl were to say to this girl, "hey I like your sweater"I was told that this means the girl is interested in buying it and that's how it is takenIf a guy were to say to this girl, "hey I like your sweater"I was told that the girl that gets this compliment may freak out and wonder, "what the hell do you know about it?" or would think "uh...so that means you want to buy it?" (sarcastic tone)If a girl were to say to this girl, "hey I think your sweater is cute"I was told that this means the girl is interested in buying it and that's how it is takenIf a guy were to say to this girl, "hey I think your sweater is cute"I was told that this means he's gayIf a girl were to say to this girl, "hey I like that sweater" (that instead of your)I was told it de-personalizes the sweater so the girl wearing the sweater may think the compliment giver is just trying to be nice and being a bitchIf a guy were to say to this girl, "hey I like that sweater"I was told that she would think...what do you want?SOOOOOOOO in light of all please...please please please tell me how to give a compliment

33. Complimenting others...a personal journey

So in light of my wanting to understand my client more I decided to compliment others like he does...this is my adventure (summarized of course.)Sport ChaletI walk in looking for some leg warmers (b/c it's getting colder and they feel nice when i'm on my bike)I talk to one of the associates there: He is a black, thirty something southern descent guy (with a great deep, southern voice...very cool). I tell him, "hey man, you have a great voice...have you ever done radio or tv with it?"his response, "yeah I have, ya know...that's what I came to LA for...and you know that ladies like it too."my response, "yeah I hear that man."his response, "yeah...like I said, the 'ladies' like it"my response, "yeah...I hear ya man."his response, "no no no...the 'ladies' like it." (wink, wink) "only the ladies...i'm not ya know..gay"my response, "dude..uh...what...are you...doh! OH MAN!! i'm not gay either!!!"his response, "ohhh I just thought that you were...i mean you're here buying tights...and talking about my voice...i just thought you were...""DOH!"Donut StoreOlder woman in her forties that worked in a donut store by where I work."hello sir, can I help you." she says."sure...let me have a cup of coffee and a glaze donut." I say.I then notice this necklace that she was wearing that had a metal stick charm or somethng of the sort and thought, 'this is my chance to compliment.'I then say, "can i just say, that your necklace is very nice and interesting"her response, "thanks...the stick is from my wrist watch when i was in a terrible accident. the metal stick was on my watch when I was driving before a car accident. The stick then jammed into my wrist but was lodge in such a way that it kept me from bleeding to death out my wrist and dying."my response, "WHOA! (TMI) well..uh...yeah...uh...um...so now you uh...where it around your neck where it can't go into your wrist again?"(not very sensitive but...it's the first thing that came out...sigh)her response was somewhere along "screw you and fuck you three ways from last week asshole..." but in a different asian language...yeah...i'm glad I couldn't understand that....

32. Complimenting others

So I have a patient/client that first came into the office for feelings of depression and general anxiety. As a way to deal with his own emotions, he likes to compliment others as a way to spread good cheer and joy. So he comes into the office and says that "today I went to the library and I saw this girl there and as she was standing there I complimented her and simply walked off.""x amount of time afterward she comes to me taps me on the shoulder and starts to curse me out.""She says, 'I fucken hate how i'm always being hit on! why can't you fucken leave me alone and not hit on me for once...'"my client then says, "I'm sorry, I wasn't hitting on you though, I was just giving you a compliment...i'm happily married with kids but was just complimenting to be nice."she then storms off...My client is then, easily understood, depressed and unable to leave the house other then come to talk.I talk to my supervisor about his complimenting and my supervisor then tells me to advise him to stop since it brought him to an all time low...So let me just say that I find myself fighting about my supervisor and this was no exception...I believe that it's okay for him to compliment others and that I can talk to my patient about learning to accept that some people have bad days, like i think she was having and that he may expect to have bad reactions at times. My supervisor instead insists that I just tell him to stop completely and make him not compliment again...always the clashing I have with him....Ideas?

31. God is that you

So as I'm walking out of supervision today I walk out the door going to my car when suddenly I hear my name called, "Andrew!"....I stop and look around...nothing...As I start to walk again...the voice rings outs...."Andrew!!" ...I look around and nothing...So I turn around and say, "uh...God?!?!" as I look trying to figure out what's going on...Then this girl jumps out of her car and comes running to me..."Oh my god, Andrew!!"Surprised I see that it is a girl that I dated like...uh...6 or 7 years ago.."oh how's it going....uh...C.A.R.M.E.N.???" - I say"Yeah that's right Andrew..." -She says as I wipe my head barely remembering herShe then starts balling!!!...BALLING!!!!!!! and crying/screaming with tears pouring out...She then starts apologizing to me."i'm sorry for: Not returing your call that one time you called and I could have answerNot smiling that one time you bought me a cakeNot buying you a gift for your birthdayNot wiping your butt when you shat that one time"..... You know...all kinds of random, random crap to which I truly, truly do not remember any of this stuff...eventually after about...I don't know...30 minutes of just balling in incomprehensible language and words...she then says i'm also sorry the most for something that I never told you about...of course my heart is pounding..."I'm sorry Andrew that I slept with your friend!...Rob" -she says"oh...is that all? that's alright no biggie...it's all good." -I say in responseSo i finally ask..."I dont' get it...what are you apologizing for...why are you saying sorry?" "Oh..it's because i'm part of this program where I have to apologize for all the wrong doings i've ever done to anyone.....it's a weird program i'm in""oh you mean AA???!?!"-sigh....just sigh...upon further inspection, i've found that she never slept with rob, never had any contact like that...plus...hmm...I should learn to runaway from godly voices for now on.