"Why is it that I will sometimes text the girl I'm seeing but she will sometimes take hours to text me back, or doesn't return it at all. I've asked her about it but usually she'll just tell me that she doesn't see it or that she's busy to answer it. Come on, it take 20 seconds to answer someone! is she being honest or just blowing me off"
Hey there...eekk...and ugh...I'm absolutely just like her. Except without the boobs. although I have been gaining weight lately...
anyways, I have a few different answers for you. First off, I would challenge your narcisstic drive, meaning- you thinking that it's all about you.
sorry...the world doesn't revolve around you...(it's busy revolving around me :)
WHA!??!?! yep...when you text someone right in the moment that you feel it and expect them to automatically be available to you in that moment...you are assuming that they are not busy and have the time to answer you. In a deep psychological way...you are expecting the world to contour and fit to your needs when you want it. "I will text the girl...but she will take hours to text me back" this is a control issue. Perhaps texting is not her thing? maybe she's more of a "call me" type of girl.
On the other side...I don't know how long you've been seeing her but telling her your concern and being honest with her may be the way to go- it may seem that she isn't being respectful to you, if she never messages you back especially. If you need her to text you back because that is what you feel you need as a value..then you need to tell her how you feel.
With some self reflection consider your own needs...if you're the type that feels love through attention from another when you need it..let her know it. YOu must be willing to tell her/people what does it for you...what you need. If she cannot do what you feel you need (and vice versa) then she may not be the one for you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
123. I know i'm right!!!! right?
"It was great seeing you a few months ago PSYCH! I loved the group let me know when the next one will happen. Well ever since that group me and my husband visit your site, which by the way isnt updated daily! is that false advertising? Heres the problem, my husband tells me that sometimes I'm just to stubburn about things. He says that sometimes he will see things that im missing and am not being open to what he is saying. I just think that im right on many of things we argue about :) This is the problem. He thinks he is always right and I think im always right. So in order to be fair to him I decided to ask you.
-girl with flower shirt"
When you look at a beach ball you are able to see different colors on it. Well duh?!?! what's the point?
PSYCH!SENSE question: What child is seeing the true color of the ball?
No matter what the angle you will often see different colors. if I am the little asian girl then I see, and think, the color of the ball is purple. If I'm the little white child on the right, I may think "hmm...the color of the ball is green..." if i'm the little mexican kid in the back...who knows what color I see...
(actually...this is like the most diverse beach ball backyard party I have ever seen...)
anyways...
My point is this...no matter what side you are looking at the beach ball..the perspectives are all right and all wrong at the same time.
The asian girl would be right to say, "I see the ball as purple..." whereas the little white kid would also be right in saying, "I see the ball as green" Yet both would be wrong if they were trying to argue what the ball looks like to another person.
Does that make sense?
Often times we will see only one side of the argument. We only are exposed to one side of the action...one side of the story...one side of same ball...
The trick is learning how to read and consider everyone's perspective to be true...but also staying true to your perspective.
It is a balance that is quite difficult to hold...I have to be willing to consider your side as true just as I consider mine to be true..there is an answer and no answer...there is an understanding and almost trusting faith in what you see as your side of the ball as truth.
Arguing is the same way. We often will engage with a person who may see things from a different angle..it is not our job/position to force them to see ours...it is merely our responsibility to walk with them and offer our perspective while also considering theirs. The problem is that sometimes...it gets too difficult....we get so absorbed in our own personal truths we forget to see the other side and dismiss it.
Therapy...soul searching...individuation...in fact just being a better person is not about problem solving as it more about seeing perspectives...and in the new perspectives problems will automatically move...be fluid in your life's journey...be open to the new side of things and allow yourself the openness to seeing the other person's color of the ball.
-girl with flower shirt"
When you look at a beach ball you are able to see different colors on it. Well duh?!?! what's the point?
PSYCH!SENSE question: What child is seeing the true color of the ball?
No matter what the angle you will often see different colors. if I am the little asian girl then I see, and think, the color of the ball is purple. If I'm the little white child on the right, I may think "hmm...the color of the ball is green..." if i'm the little mexican kid in the back...who knows what color I see...
(actually...this is like the most diverse beach ball backyard party I have ever seen...)
anyways...
My point is this...no matter what side you are looking at the beach ball..the perspectives are all right and all wrong at the same time.
The asian girl would be right to say, "I see the ball as purple..." whereas the little white kid would also be right in saying, "I see the ball as green" Yet both would be wrong if they were trying to argue what the ball looks like to another person.
Does that make sense?
Often times we will see only one side of the argument. We only are exposed to one side of the action...one side of the story...one side of same ball...
The trick is learning how to read and consider everyone's perspective to be true...but also staying true to your perspective.
It is a balance that is quite difficult to hold...I have to be willing to consider your side as true just as I consider mine to be true..there is an answer and no answer...there is an understanding and almost trusting faith in what you see as your side of the ball as truth.
Arguing is the same way. We often will engage with a person who may see things from a different angle..it is not our job/position to force them to see ours...it is merely our responsibility to walk with them and offer our perspective while also considering theirs. The problem is that sometimes...it gets too difficult....we get so absorbed in our own personal truths we forget to see the other side and dismiss it.
Therapy...soul searching...individuation...in fact just being a better person is not about problem solving as it more about seeing perspectives...and in the new perspectives problems will automatically move...be fluid in your life's journey...be open to the new side of things and allow yourself the openness to seeing the other person's color of the ball.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
122. It was a comment...
Anonymous said...
I always find myself hanging out with my girls that are less attractive. I never really put it into words until now. I feel horrible. I do tink I do it so that I can feel prettier. Am I a horrible person? I just think that I enjoy the attention I get from guys.
August 3, 2010 11:19 AM
Psych! said...
Hi anon: ya know..often times we find ourselves searching for attention because of our drive to be seen and acknowledged. Many times stemming from our family...If no one sees us or acknowledges us....how do we know we exist? So I understand your enjoying attention. I would simply suggest that you take the time to consider your time out with your girls as a time for feminine bonding and friendship. Learn to differentiate between positive attention and negative attention. Getting attention is great from the opposite sex...quite honestly...we all want that...but getting attention in a healthy way from family and friends with true love behind it will always out do the drunken douche bag looking to get laid. Love yourself and feel the emotion from your girls...you are not a horrible person, you just forgot for a second how amazingly beautiful you already are.
August 3, 2010 11:22 AM
I always find myself hanging out with my girls that are less attractive. I never really put it into words until now. I feel horrible. I do tink I do it so that I can feel prettier. Am I a horrible person? I just think that I enjoy the attention I get from guys.
August 3, 2010 11:19 AM
Psych! said...
Hi anon: ya know..often times we find ourselves searching for attention because of our drive to be seen and acknowledged. Many times stemming from our family...If no one sees us or acknowledges us....how do we know we exist? So I understand your enjoying attention. I would simply suggest that you take the time to consider your time out with your girls as a time for feminine bonding and friendship. Learn to differentiate between positive attention and negative attention. Getting attention is great from the opposite sex...quite honestly...we all want that...but getting attention in a healthy way from family and friends with true love behind it will always out do the drunken douche bag looking to get laid. Love yourself and feel the emotion from your girls...you are not a horrible person, you just forgot for a second how amazingly beautiful you already are.
August 3, 2010 11:22 AM
121. Bring It BABY!
"Yo yo blogger dude! Check this shit out. Y is it that wen I think I'm over a big like obstacle or sumthing that sumthing else pops up in my life. It's like when my baby was born I had to deal with that, then things got good in life an I got a good job but then my girl starts cheating on me with a homie. What the fuck? why is life trying to fuck me in the ass, when do I get a break?"
Yo yo, baby...
ya know...the thing about life is that it will always try to fuck you in the ass. I know that may not sound very therapeutic or PC but the fact is that you will always find a new challenge that life wants from you. For this I refer to an old personal quote of mine...
"Life asks of you what it knows you can overcome" Or quoting a movie title, "somethings got to give"
I feel as if we are always playing "catch up" meaning that we are always trying to move forward and life being how it is...will always try to give us a new obstacle and lesson to learn. You must learn to become more in tune with the world and what it is telling you. You must be willing to take every challenge as an opportunity to grow.
I've written this before...but "things that irritates and bother us in situations lead to a greater understanding of ourselves." I understand feeling overwhelmed and almost bullied by life...but understand that you will not BEAT life...you can only learn to grow from it.
It's not about beating life it's about learning to take the punches while still moving forward. Holding love, peace and soul close will always remind of what life is asking you to overcome.
This is the resiliency factor...think of it like going to the gym. When you go to the gym you will do a million push ups and as you do them..your chest will grow stronger. Resiliency is the same way...you have to exercise your resiliency muscle so that when life challenges you, you will become stronger for it. Learn to see every obstacle and challenge as a new defining moment. As a new chance for you to own the crap that life throws at you.
Lose your job...this is a great chance to see what new experience you can have
Girl cheating on you...this is a great chance to practice your assassination skills (kidding)....this is a good chance for you to find your true penguin....
Find the positives in life and stop letting yourself play victim and broken...you are an amazing person...own it
You say, "life is always screwing you in the ass," I say, "stop being the ass."
Yo yo, baby...
ya know...the thing about life is that it will always try to fuck you in the ass. I know that may not sound very therapeutic or PC but the fact is that you will always find a new challenge that life wants from you. For this I refer to an old personal quote of mine...
"Life asks of you what it knows you can overcome" Or quoting a movie title, "somethings got to give"
I feel as if we are always playing "catch up" meaning that we are always trying to move forward and life being how it is...will always try to give us a new obstacle and lesson to learn. You must learn to become more in tune with the world and what it is telling you. You must be willing to take every challenge as an opportunity to grow.
I've written this before...but "things that irritates and bother us in situations lead to a greater understanding of ourselves." I understand feeling overwhelmed and almost bullied by life...but understand that you will not BEAT life...you can only learn to grow from it.
It's not about beating life it's about learning to take the punches while still moving forward. Holding love, peace and soul close will always remind of what life is asking you to overcome.
This is the resiliency factor...think of it like going to the gym. When you go to the gym you will do a million push ups and as you do them..your chest will grow stronger. Resiliency is the same way...you have to exercise your resiliency muscle so that when life challenges you, you will become stronger for it. Learn to see every obstacle and challenge as a new defining moment. As a new chance for you to own the crap that life throws at you.
Lose your job...this is a great chance to see what new experience you can have
Girl cheating on you...this is a great chance to practice your assassination skills (kidding)....this is a good chance for you to find your true penguin....
Find the positives in life and stop letting yourself play victim and broken...you are an amazing person...own it
You say, "life is always screwing you in the ass," I say, "stop being the ass."
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