27. Definition of irony

Allow me to explain the irony and sometimes hilarious ways in which life gives you the "finger."So I never really needed glasses...So When I was in high school I wore glasses to feel like a smart kid. I wore them so that others would think I was smart and so i would fit in...you know..if you talk like a duck/walk like a duck thing...So I wore them consistently enough that I grew used to them to an extant..even though I only really needed them for reading...So I get into the Marine Corp and after many many many rounds of fire and many many pieces of bullet frag and chemicals popping into my eyes I had to wear glasses all the time because my eyes were decently weak...I then decide I'm tired of wearing contacts and glasses on Marine Corp training days and so got lasik...Now here I am without glasses or contacts and am decently enjoying it..good times right?Well now all I hear is how my face is plain and needs more character "you should wear glasses again because it's weird now Andrew"...WTF right?!?!?So now i'm looking into buying 0 Rx (prescription) glasses...in other words...just glasses that don't alter my vision in order to look like i used to...ugh...damn irony...

26. Hitting on women question

So I get in this morning and see like...4 messages from people that are wondering why I didn't help the guy out....as I read this I think of two things1. Why are you guys up so early reading blogs already?2. Should I have done something more?I think Chris Rock said something about "I won't hit a woman, but i'd slap a bitch!" Now I don't believe in hitting woman at all...although In my case...I don't hit anyone because I can get into really big trouble with the law (come on ...I have to register myself as a weapon with the county because of martial arts and the military) so I don't raise my fists at anyone...except maybe 15 year old residential students...but lets not talk about that :)Anyways...So I ran over to them and didn't say anything...I realize I should have said something like..."hey stop that!" or..."hey are you guys okay should I call someone?" but I didn't..instead I kept running...I guess my question is whether or not we in today's day and age still believe that you shouldn't hold back, hit, grab or essentially hurt a woman. Again, I don't believe you should...but if she is going all out on this small guy and from what I thought...making him bleed...should I have like...held her back and gave him the chance to run? 2 of the messages I got said that I should have "given that 'ho' a judo chop across the neck to stop her..." but seriously gents (you two guys that said that) would you really hit a woman?!?!? totally wrong if you have done that in the past or continue to do it...I don't know...what do the readers think?

25. Hitting on women

Soooo...yesterday I go home and decide to go for a run..I mean it's good times since I don't have to worry about school..since I don't have monday classes anymore...yay! So I decide to go for a run. Now I have a few parks by my house and the arroyo seco (river) that runs by my house. I decide to go to the park and take a few laps on the grass. As i'm running, mind you my eyes are not perfect yet, I see from a distance some really fat guy whaling on some small girl. WTF!?!?So of course my Andrew "the hero" spidey sense goes off and I make my run over to them. As I speed up and race towards them..i'm just thinking.."holy crap...how am I going to take this guy out...hmm..legs...go for the legs I figure..or dance around him..because guessing by his weight I figure I can just use some endurance to wear him down." So as I get closer I realize...wait a minute...this is all wrong...the guy beating up the girl isn't a guy at all...it's a girl!! what the hell...and the girl she was beating ended up being a really small guy! Whoa!The lesson in the story?Well...you can figure that one out...p.s.Yeah...by the looks of this girl..well..even if I wanted to help out the guy...I think she would've taken this Marine down easily :-)

24. Deodorant

Soo....as i've mentioned before...I had my eyes done and so have been effectively blind for the last few days. Especially light sensitive.The rules for me were simple...No getting eyes wetNo exerciseNo sleeping without my bug eye protectorsNo showeringSo anyways...there I go trying to figure out the best way to NOT smell like a foot while getting ready for work. The funny part was that my eyes were worse in the morning....so as I would get up..i would have to use a wash cloth on my face and special areas...you know..special areas...sooooo eventually this morning as I was finally able to look out and see my set up of products...only to find that I had been using a dirty wash cloth, the roommates toothbrush and some female deodorant...oh yes...good times. Good times in deed.hmm....i guess the real question comes down to well...if it worked...then...why not roll with it anyways?

23. New eyes

So...for those of you that dont' know about my latest news let me tell you...
I have magical new eyes...also known as Lasik Eyes..
I can give you an updated idea of how it went later (because it's too much to write) I'd rather tell you about a story about one other person in the office with me.
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So I go into the office and wait in line to get my eyes done...there was one guy that I struck up a conversation with who told me about his eye sight. Ends up being that his eye sight was 20/1900...this basically means that he has to be 1900 times closer to the object to see it clearly...basically he was blind- blind as a freakin bat!! So he walks into surgery right before me and I follow him....
After my surgery I am sitting in the recovery room with my eyes patched up with little holes to see through when suddenly the guy with the bad eyesight gets up and starts proclaiming, "LASIK IS AMAZING..IT'S MIRACULOUS, ITS A MIRACLE...I CAN SEE!!!!" I'd imagine so...I mean he was technically blind..so any improvement i'm sure would be a miracle in itself..So as he's screaming this..i'm sitting there scratching my head thinking...
"damn, i think they messed up my eyes since i can't see crap...everything is blurry and my eyes can barely open up....how the hell can he see the difference"
...as I hear this guy proclaming loudly how he can see, his ride shows up (since we are not allowed to drive ourselves) to guide him to the car. As he's walking away, again, still screaming the miracle that he can now see, he pulls his arm away from his guide and says, "i don't need your help to guide me because i can see..." He pulls away from the guide and as soon as he pulls away, *BAM!!!* he walks straight into a door frame and falls on his butt..
let me tell you about confidence...
I was once told that you can determine how confident people are by listening to what they don't say about themselves and instead watching them take all things into consideration...
and as einstein once said....
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and i'm not too sure about the universe. (-einstein)
You know...if someone is offering you a hand..guiding you and helping you along your path...take it..because most of the time if you don't...you'll end up landing on your ass