38. I'm the rebound?

So as I've been making my rounds with the plethora of both 4 year old Rx addicts and 88 year old pyromaniacs...i've found myself in the presence of those that have had a loooooong history of mental disorder. Some longer than I've been alive have been in the mental health system for so long that I KNOW they could create licensing exams for us mental health peeps...I know in fact that many of them can read right through some of their own therapists...so interesting. Anyways, as i'm making my rounds (like i said earlier) i've found a teenager that tells me, "hey andrew...you're my third therapist in like..3 years." and of course my response is somewhere around, "so how does that make you feel."....his response was, "well...so far...you're not that good...my last therapist in the two sessions we initially had knew who I was, my life and everything...he was so great...he made me feel so good, he challenged me, he pushed me, he motivated me..."blah blah blah blah..So feelign a bit insulted I ask him, "oh...then why did it end?" and his response, "well it was time I moved on from him....it was just time...now here you are andrew and i think my last therapist was way better."Damn jerk off little prick...ugh! haha..i'm the rebound...ofcourse my thoughts are just running around right now..."was he better at diagnosing you? could he make you feel like I can? can't you just try and like me? why is it so quiet in session maybe i should break the ice..." hahhahahah i'm such the rebound...it's like going on an awkward first date as they tell you all about their last b/f and how you'll never be as good as they were...hahah....I think I should start a support group for therapists that are just the rebound therapists...

37. Real psychotherapy

Soo...I have a new job. "what!?!?!....you andrew...new job?" Yes everyone that is right...new job. Well..to be specific...same position (psychotherapist) but new clinic. (Although this blog seems very uh...stressful and tiring, readers please note that I wrote this whole thing smiling because as I look back on my new position- it's all going to be okay.)Sooo...i've been there for about...hmm...in total. 5 days including today. Yeah...in 5 days i've had the clinic drop 26 patients on me...train me on 10 hours of department of mental health paperwork bullcrap...which quite honestly has to be the crappiest crap that has ever crapped...been yelled at by a supervisor...been told that my patient notes suck...and worse of all...had 3 patients commit suicide on me already!!! hahha...ya know. Sometimes those decisions you make...well...aren't always the best decisions. I'm working with them all..children (my youngest is 4)...WHY THE HELL DOES A 4 YEAR OLD NEED THERAPY AND MEDS???!!? my oldest patient is 68 and he has had schizophrenia for about..uh...40 something years...man....that's a long time. He takes more medications than I have fingers...geez...The irony? Those three patients that committed suicide..yeah...apparently they told me that I was the best therapist, funniest and most personable one they've ever met or had, right after the 1st session with me. WTF!?!?! So i took that as good and bad. Good because at least I know i build rapport well...bad because well..maybe i cheered them up so much that they were able to have the energy and courage enough to off themselves. WTF!!?!? sigh...It's been an interesting time for change...an interesting period in life right now...lots of changes...lots of ...hmm...different experiences and such. These curve balls that life throws are so very very interesting. I have an office and even a window but guess what? I don't use it...i'm supposed to be out in their homes, or school, or psychiatric hospitals doing...well..I don't know...whatever I want...to be specific my supervisor tells me, "You can do any orientation and theoretical intervention you want Andrew..play therapy, narrative, sandplay, cognitive behavioral...anything...just make sure that when you write patient notes you don't put any of that stuff down"hahah...geez...good times.