So I decided last minute to fly out to England. Totally last minute. as in...three hours I just online, buy a ticket and find myself at the airport 1 hour after that..
First the "bad"
Now for those of you that know me...you know that I tend to come off with a huge personality...as in I tend to joke around a lot...I smile often...I make inappropriate comment in every other sentence because..well...it tends to break the ice. So to my english friends that are reading this...it's all meant in good comedy!!
In england though it is a bit different. Through my multiple attempts and failures at talking to people in pubs, train stations and general interactions I have decided that the English are highly anxious (nervous), suspicious (of other's intentions) and generally closed off to new people.
Although there really isn't a PSYCH!SENSE question today...I found this a good avenue to talk about culture.
For the most part...many people here have decided that mental health is kinda ...well..only for crazies. not that american's find it that glamourous either, the English are..well..worse?
Consider this...when you tell someone, "have a nice day" they take it as, "um.. F-you...you want something from me..that's why you said it."
WTF!?!? it's true though...ask an English person. They tend to believe that you only say nice things like that (despite your meaning it) because you want something from them.
When you ask a stranger, "what time is it?" their first response is..."oh..uh..you want to rob me?"
I would call this paranoia..highly anxious behavior. The argument is that..if the entire country acts like this and doesn't know it...does it really exist? meaning...if it is the norm to walk about naked all day in that country...is the person who visits wearing clothes the one that needs help? yes.
They may acknowledge their weird...fear and general distrust of strangers but to admit.."man..maybe i'm a bit too nervous about others"...that is something they may not be able to do.
Makes us wonder what we do daily that may appear normal to us...but to the outsider..may appear peculiar. Our family upbringing tend to have that effect on us...they tend to teach us things and habits that may appear to be normal and good but to the outsider be strange and just plain weird.
NOW THE GOOD!
But allowing the benefit of the argument...I did end up meeting sooooo many extremely funny, sweet and nice English people that if they lived closer we would end up partying and joking around all day. They bought me drinks...tried to hook me up with random women...taught me English phrases and the most random words that I would have never guessed. Allow me to tell you what I was taught...besides the random PSYCHO!SENSE stuff from up top.
So let's be funny on this part:
things I have learned:
When extremely, extremely, extremely drunk...put a tie around your forehead. This will allow you to dance better.
I have to find an English wife...wow..I get why women ogle over a male english accent..it does wonders for a male hearing a female's...yummy
Calling a woman a "fit bird" is actually a compliment...use it often
American's are generally seen as fat and stupid. I was not the exception..(except for maybe my ability to out talk, out smart and out drink them all...bam!) or maybe I was just really drunk and thought I did.
Dogging - an activity in which strangers meet up on hilltops to engage in casual sex. Flasing the cabin light of the car means you're allowed to watch...keeping headlights on means you can join.
In England...all pubs must be shut down by 11pm due to noise and alcohol laws. WTF!?!!? that means you have an extremely short amount of time to take advantage of...they start drinking early...quickly and are usually in bed by 11:30 pm....and then home by 9 am. HEYO!!!
Bukkaki - when several partners finish on the same person...
They don't use the word "man" or "dude" for example, the translation for "hey man" should be.."hey mate"...in America...this would put you as...well...gay...in England it makes you a homie. yeah..
Anything sounds so much smarter when you use an English accent...I think i almost have mine down.
"The Banger Brothers : Best Sausage in Town" is not what you think..it's actually a chain restaurant...
special shout out to: The bartletts (they cooked and set up lodging for me), Rob for watching out for me, Marisa for being my fellow American but often sold me out, The new Mrs. Rebel (thank you for the invite to the wedding..sorry my leg is broken...but congrats on being part of the Rebel Alliance now)...Tom and Tanya...you guys are just so freakin fun...thank you for teaching me about bukkaki and dogging..and thank you for not demonstrating either. To the brides maids (HEYO!) laura, I hope that you and Ed come over to visit..congrats on the upcoming wedding, Beth, you are one cute little thang. Gemma (jaw dropping*...damn..just damn...give me the word and I will fly back) Emily, you came to the pub the night before and tolerated all my invasive questions...you are so cool! Chris, Ben, james, john, john, matt, andy, hannah, sara, lucy, lynn, julia, uh...then the night gets fuzzy...and I forget names...but thank you for the laughs and conversation!
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