When we look at expectation, I believe that two things come into play...hope and fear. Ever get that call from the girl or boy friend and they say, "we need to talk..."
yeah...your heart jumps into your throat. How about when you have your annual review at work? You sit there hoping that you will get a raise (hope)...or perhaps that you will not (fear)...
But this is understandable...we hope for pleasure and will pull away from possible pain...or we do a psychological prepping for pain by focusing on the fear (the bad news) so that when it happens we have been prepped and it will not hurt as much. More than that, when we hold on to anything, this is a way to hold on to ourselves...a way to feel safe and understanding of the situation...
Imagine a piece of pie...yum. We see it and may fall into desiring to have it...or....you may distance yourself from it because you're on a diet...again. You may ignore...grab it and chomp it down...whatever your reaction, you move from a place of fear or hope.
Even the cute girl or boy at the bar counter. We see them and fall into the fear of rejection and dont' talk to them....or into hope that they will give us their number and go talk to them.
The problem then is not the hope or fear...it is the expectation and projection that we do. What does that mean? that means that when a situation arises, we will throw our expectations onto the situation...we will throw our "best guess" at what will happen. We become fortune tellers. Trying to read the future of the expectation. Sometimes we're right and sometimes we're wrong.
What do you do? You need to stop layering "me" and "my opinions" and expectations on situations as they arise. Pull out of your head...pull out of the fear and hope and just allow things to come to you as they come. If you hear your girl or boy say "we need to talk..." don't etch your expectation in stone. Expectations should be written in chalk, not sharpie. Take them as they come...not as you want them to come. Be open. Flexible. Willing to "roll with it" as it comes.
If you always solidify your expectations out of hope or fear, you will get frustrated or move to defense whenever things come up...when you can relax with whatever comes up without coloring it with our projections and opinions of what will happen, then there is nothing to worry about...nothing to become concerned with.
Nothing to guess at.
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