"Why is it that I will sometimes text the girl I'm seeing but she will sometimes take hours to text me back, or doesn't return it at all. I've asked her about it but usually she'll just tell me that she doesn't see it or that she's busy to answer it. Come on, it take 20 seconds to answer someone! is she being honest or just blowing me off"
Hey there...eekk...and ugh...I'm absolutely just like her. Except without the boobs. although I have been gaining weight lately...
anyways, I have a few different answers for you. First off, I would challenge your narcisstic drive, meaning- you thinking that it's all about you.
sorry...the world doesn't revolve around you...(it's busy revolving around me :)
WHA!??!?! yep...when you text someone right in the moment that you feel it and expect them to automatically be available to you in that moment...you are assuming that they are not busy and have the time to answer you. In a deep psychological way...you are expecting the world to contour and fit to your needs when you want it. "I will text the girl...but she will take hours to text me back" this is a control issue. Perhaps texting is not her thing? maybe she's more of a "call me" type of girl.
On the other side...I don't know how long you've been seeing her but telling her your concern and being honest with her may be the way to go- it may seem that she isn't being respectful to you, if she never messages you back especially. If you need her to text you back because that is what you feel you need as a value..then you need to tell her how you feel.
With some self reflection consider your own needs...if you're the type that feels love through attention from another when you need it..let her know it. YOu must be willing to tell her/people what does it for you...what you need. If she cannot do what you feel you need (and vice versa) then she may not be the one for you.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
123. I know i'm right!!!! right?
"It was great seeing you a few months ago PSYCH! I loved the group let me know when the next one will happen. Well ever since that group me and my husband visit your site, which by the way isnt updated daily! is that false advertising? Heres the problem, my husband tells me that sometimes I'm just to stubburn about things. He says that sometimes he will see things that im missing and am not being open to what he is saying. I just think that im right on many of things we argue about :) This is the problem. He thinks he is always right and I think im always right. So in order to be fair to him I decided to ask you.
-girl with flower shirt"
When you look at a beach ball you are able to see different colors on it. Well duh?!?! what's the point?
PSYCH!SENSE question: What child is seeing the true color of the ball?
No matter what the angle you will often see different colors. if I am the little asian girl then I see, and think, the color of the ball is purple. If I'm the little white child on the right, I may think "hmm...the color of the ball is green..." if i'm the little mexican kid in the back...who knows what color I see...
(actually...this is like the most diverse beach ball backyard party I have ever seen...)
anyways...
My point is this...no matter what side you are looking at the beach ball..the perspectives are all right and all wrong at the same time.
The asian girl would be right to say, "I see the ball as purple..." whereas the little white kid would also be right in saying, "I see the ball as green" Yet both would be wrong if they were trying to argue what the ball looks like to another person.
Does that make sense?
Often times we will see only one side of the argument. We only are exposed to one side of the action...one side of the story...one side of same ball...
The trick is learning how to read and consider everyone's perspective to be true...but also staying true to your perspective.
It is a balance that is quite difficult to hold...I have to be willing to consider your side as true just as I consider mine to be true..there is an answer and no answer...there is an understanding and almost trusting faith in what you see as your side of the ball as truth.
Arguing is the same way. We often will engage with a person who may see things from a different angle..it is not our job/position to force them to see ours...it is merely our responsibility to walk with them and offer our perspective while also considering theirs. The problem is that sometimes...it gets too difficult....we get so absorbed in our own personal truths we forget to see the other side and dismiss it.
Therapy...soul searching...individuation...in fact just being a better person is not about problem solving as it more about seeing perspectives...and in the new perspectives problems will automatically move...be fluid in your life's journey...be open to the new side of things and allow yourself the openness to seeing the other person's color of the ball.
-girl with flower shirt"
When you look at a beach ball you are able to see different colors on it. Well duh?!?! what's the point?
PSYCH!SENSE question: What child is seeing the true color of the ball?
No matter what the angle you will often see different colors. if I am the little asian girl then I see, and think, the color of the ball is purple. If I'm the little white child on the right, I may think "hmm...the color of the ball is green..." if i'm the little mexican kid in the back...who knows what color I see...
(actually...this is like the most diverse beach ball backyard party I have ever seen...)
anyways...
My point is this...no matter what side you are looking at the beach ball..the perspectives are all right and all wrong at the same time.
The asian girl would be right to say, "I see the ball as purple..." whereas the little white kid would also be right in saying, "I see the ball as green" Yet both would be wrong if they were trying to argue what the ball looks like to another person.
Does that make sense?
Often times we will see only one side of the argument. We only are exposed to one side of the action...one side of the story...one side of same ball...
The trick is learning how to read and consider everyone's perspective to be true...but also staying true to your perspective.
It is a balance that is quite difficult to hold...I have to be willing to consider your side as true just as I consider mine to be true..there is an answer and no answer...there is an understanding and almost trusting faith in what you see as your side of the ball as truth.
Arguing is the same way. We often will engage with a person who may see things from a different angle..it is not our job/position to force them to see ours...it is merely our responsibility to walk with them and offer our perspective while also considering theirs. The problem is that sometimes...it gets too difficult....we get so absorbed in our own personal truths we forget to see the other side and dismiss it.
Therapy...soul searching...individuation...in fact just being a better person is not about problem solving as it more about seeing perspectives...and in the new perspectives problems will automatically move...be fluid in your life's journey...be open to the new side of things and allow yourself the openness to seeing the other person's color of the ball.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
122. It was a comment...
Anonymous said...
I always find myself hanging out with my girls that are less attractive. I never really put it into words until now. I feel horrible. I do tink I do it so that I can feel prettier. Am I a horrible person? I just think that I enjoy the attention I get from guys.
August 3, 2010 11:19 AM
Psych! said...
Hi anon: ya know..often times we find ourselves searching for attention because of our drive to be seen and acknowledged. Many times stemming from our family...If no one sees us or acknowledges us....how do we know we exist? So I understand your enjoying attention. I would simply suggest that you take the time to consider your time out with your girls as a time for feminine bonding and friendship. Learn to differentiate between positive attention and negative attention. Getting attention is great from the opposite sex...quite honestly...we all want that...but getting attention in a healthy way from family and friends with true love behind it will always out do the drunken douche bag looking to get laid. Love yourself and feel the emotion from your girls...you are not a horrible person, you just forgot for a second how amazingly beautiful you already are.
August 3, 2010 11:22 AM
I always find myself hanging out with my girls that are less attractive. I never really put it into words until now. I feel horrible. I do tink I do it so that I can feel prettier. Am I a horrible person? I just think that I enjoy the attention I get from guys.
August 3, 2010 11:19 AM
Psych! said...
Hi anon: ya know..often times we find ourselves searching for attention because of our drive to be seen and acknowledged. Many times stemming from our family...If no one sees us or acknowledges us....how do we know we exist? So I understand your enjoying attention. I would simply suggest that you take the time to consider your time out with your girls as a time for feminine bonding and friendship. Learn to differentiate between positive attention and negative attention. Getting attention is great from the opposite sex...quite honestly...we all want that...but getting attention in a healthy way from family and friends with true love behind it will always out do the drunken douche bag looking to get laid. Love yourself and feel the emotion from your girls...you are not a horrible person, you just forgot for a second how amazingly beautiful you already are.
August 3, 2010 11:22 AM
121. Bring It BABY!
"Yo yo blogger dude! Check this shit out. Y is it that wen I think I'm over a big like obstacle or sumthing that sumthing else pops up in my life. It's like when my baby was born I had to deal with that, then things got good in life an I got a good job but then my girl starts cheating on me with a homie. What the fuck? why is life trying to fuck me in the ass, when do I get a break?"
Yo yo, baby...
ya know...the thing about life is that it will always try to fuck you in the ass. I know that may not sound very therapeutic or PC but the fact is that you will always find a new challenge that life wants from you. For this I refer to an old personal quote of mine...
"Life asks of you what it knows you can overcome" Or quoting a movie title, "somethings got to give"
I feel as if we are always playing "catch up" meaning that we are always trying to move forward and life being how it is...will always try to give us a new obstacle and lesson to learn. You must learn to become more in tune with the world and what it is telling you. You must be willing to take every challenge as an opportunity to grow.
I've written this before...but "things that irritates and bother us in situations lead to a greater understanding of ourselves." I understand feeling overwhelmed and almost bullied by life...but understand that you will not BEAT life...you can only learn to grow from it.
It's not about beating life it's about learning to take the punches while still moving forward. Holding love, peace and soul close will always remind of what life is asking you to overcome.
This is the resiliency factor...think of it like going to the gym. When you go to the gym you will do a million push ups and as you do them..your chest will grow stronger. Resiliency is the same way...you have to exercise your resiliency muscle so that when life challenges you, you will become stronger for it. Learn to see every obstacle and challenge as a new defining moment. As a new chance for you to own the crap that life throws at you.
Lose your job...this is a great chance to see what new experience you can have
Girl cheating on you...this is a great chance to practice your assassination skills (kidding)....this is a good chance for you to find your true penguin....
Find the positives in life and stop letting yourself play victim and broken...you are an amazing person...own it
You say, "life is always screwing you in the ass," I say, "stop being the ass."
Yo yo, baby...
ya know...the thing about life is that it will always try to fuck you in the ass. I know that may not sound very therapeutic or PC but the fact is that you will always find a new challenge that life wants from you. For this I refer to an old personal quote of mine...
"Life asks of you what it knows you can overcome" Or quoting a movie title, "somethings got to give"
I feel as if we are always playing "catch up" meaning that we are always trying to move forward and life being how it is...will always try to give us a new obstacle and lesson to learn. You must learn to become more in tune with the world and what it is telling you. You must be willing to take every challenge as an opportunity to grow.
I've written this before...but "things that irritates and bother us in situations lead to a greater understanding of ourselves." I understand feeling overwhelmed and almost bullied by life...but understand that you will not BEAT life...you can only learn to grow from it.
It's not about beating life it's about learning to take the punches while still moving forward. Holding love, peace and soul close will always remind of what life is asking you to overcome.
This is the resiliency factor...think of it like going to the gym. When you go to the gym you will do a million push ups and as you do them..your chest will grow stronger. Resiliency is the same way...you have to exercise your resiliency muscle so that when life challenges you, you will become stronger for it. Learn to see every obstacle and challenge as a new defining moment. As a new chance for you to own the crap that life throws at you.
Lose your job...this is a great chance to see what new experience you can have
Girl cheating on you...this is a great chance to practice your assassination skills (kidding)....this is a good chance for you to find your true penguin....
Find the positives in life and stop letting yourself play victim and broken...you are an amazing person...own it
You say, "life is always screwing you in the ass," I say, "stop being the ass."
Friday, July 30, 2010
120. I'm Hot and Not
Ever go to a club, a party, a friends house, a bar mitzvah or sometimes a rainforest party and see a hot person? most likely...the hot person will have equally hot friends.
It must be said that we live in a society where physical appearance and looks are important. They do play a factor in attraction (sexually, intimately and within relationships)...they do. Although many can have the ability to see more than looks and work hard at accepting people as they are (usually because we can't accept ourselves) physical appearance is still important...sigh. Usually we'll all prefer to be with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie than John Candy and the old school bus driver, who smelled of one and was about the size of one... With that being said...
PSYCH!SENSE question: Are you friends/hang out with those who are equally attractive as you are?
As a male there are millions of time when I go to a club, party, zoo, star trek dinner, wherever and when I go will see a pretty girl and automatically think, "hhmmmm..most likely she's gonna have hot friends....I'm gonna keep an eye out for some hot eye candy" For the most part you come to realize, "wait a minute...she freakin does....hook me up!!" The same can be said, for the most part, about those who are just...well...dog ugly (physically folks).
You may find a really unattractive person and realize, "wow...your friends are equally as unattractive as you are!...don't hook me up"
PSYCH!SENSE says a few things about this...
1. You will often surround yourself with those who you strive to be like
example: I want to be successful so I will surround myself by those who only want the same for themself
2. You will often surround youself with those who you feel are a reflection of yourself.
example: All of you are freakin gorgeous! I will put myself in your company because you remind me of who I am
3. You will often surround yourself with those who may provide competition with yourself
example: I'm gonna hang out with the best strippers in the world. This way I can learn some tricks and use them to become better than them!
4. You will often surround youself with those who may provide an ego boost for youself.
example: Because I'm so hot, if I surround myself with those who are "dog ugly" I will instantly be put out as the most attractive! (close to the idea of competition).
Which are you? only when being honest with yourself can you start to realize and see which category you fall into. You must be willing to challenge your own sense of choice and understanding in the attempt to become the whole and more full person.
Find your balance...if you notice you only hang out with hot friends...consider why you do it...think about how you feel around them and truly feel out if you do it for the sake of feeling close, connected and open with them...or because you're just being an ass.
On the other side, if your friends are not the most attractive also consider how you see yourself with them. Do you yourself feel as if you are not attractive? do you feel as if you aren't worthy of hanging out with supermodels because you yourself are not one?
This goes back to blog #119, "screw you princess" those who are great looking do not turn your head up to people or hold yourself as "better" than them because they aren't as hot or have hot friends like you...simply be open to the person and amazing character that they have. For those who feel they are unattractive consider how you feel internally and your own sense of personal attraction. Because quite honestly...after you hang out with anyone long enough...they begin to feel attractive...they begin to feel handsome or beautiful...they become so much "better" physically than when you first met them...usually...
It's good for you ;)
It must be said that we live in a society where physical appearance and looks are important. They do play a factor in attraction (sexually, intimately and within relationships)...they do. Although many can have the ability to see more than looks and work hard at accepting people as they are (usually because we can't accept ourselves) physical appearance is still important...sigh. Usually we'll all prefer to be with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie than John Candy and the old school bus driver, who smelled of one and was about the size of one... With that being said...
PSYCH!SENSE question: Are you friends/hang out with those who are equally attractive as you are?
As a male there are millions of time when I go to a club, party, zoo, star trek dinner, wherever and when I go will see a pretty girl and automatically think, "hhmmmm..most likely she's gonna have hot friends....I'm gonna keep an eye out for some hot eye candy" For the most part you come to realize, "wait a minute...she freakin does....hook me up!!" The same can be said, for the most part, about those who are just...well...dog ugly (physically folks).
You may find a really unattractive person and realize, "wow...your friends are equally as unattractive as you are!...don't hook me up"
PSYCH!SENSE says a few things about this...
1. You will often surround yourself with those who you strive to be like
example: I want to be successful so I will surround myself by those who only want the same for themself
2. You will often surround youself with those who you feel are a reflection of yourself.
example: All of you are freakin gorgeous! I will put myself in your company because you remind me of who I am
3. You will often surround yourself with those who may provide competition with yourself
example: I'm gonna hang out with the best strippers in the world. This way I can learn some tricks and use them to become better than them!
4. You will often surround youself with those who may provide an ego boost for youself.
example: Because I'm so hot, if I surround myself with those who are "dog ugly" I will instantly be put out as the most attractive! (close to the idea of competition).
Which are you? only when being honest with yourself can you start to realize and see which category you fall into. You must be willing to challenge your own sense of choice and understanding in the attempt to become the whole and more full person.
Find your balance...if you notice you only hang out with hot friends...consider why you do it...think about how you feel around them and truly feel out if you do it for the sake of feeling close, connected and open with them...or because you're just being an ass.
On the other side, if your friends are not the most attractive also consider how you see yourself with them. Do you yourself feel as if you are not attractive? do you feel as if you aren't worthy of hanging out with supermodels because you yourself are not one?
This goes back to blog #119, "screw you princess" those who are great looking do not turn your head up to people or hold yourself as "better" than them because they aren't as hot or have hot friends like you...simply be open to the person and amazing character that they have. For those who feel they are unattractive consider how you feel internally and your own sense of personal attraction. Because quite honestly...after you hang out with anyone long enough...they begin to feel attractive...they begin to feel handsome or beautiful...they become so much "better" physically than when you first met them...usually...
It's good for you ;)
Thursday, July 29, 2010
119. Click Clack
Ever sit somewhere and as you doing whatever you are doing you hear the click clack of high heels...
what image do you get when you hear them?
oh come on...we all know what image comes to mind..
Sexy Chick.
What is that? where does that come from. As I've taken my informal survey many people have told me that when they hear high heels what immediately comes to mind is the picture of a sexy chick. Despite knowing what they look like you suddenly have an image in your head of a hottie.
PSYCH!SENSE tells us that the image that comes into mind many times may be the ingrained response and idea from media. With men, as this is the only reference I can give, many times, the idea of skirts, stalkings, heels, button shirts and glasses pops in our head. The thought of the secretary...the thought of "forbidden fruit" will often come into mind as well.
A good friend of mine, Leeds says that "the idea of heels leads us to automatically think someone looks nice...and therefore hot." Don't we all have those images that automatically click with us. We have been trained to listen to and absolutely think of sexy.
If I said, "firefighter" many women....and men...would think sexy
A favorite of mine...when I see women mouthing along to a song at a random local place...I find it absolutely cute and amazingly sexy...
Same thing when something is high up and they have to tip toe to reach it...
Learn to find those things in your life that bring you to smile...that bring you to associate pictures in your life.
I write this blog as a way to demonstrate how many people associate various sounds with images which can be good and bad. Learn to recognize what you find sexy and fun as well as sad and low. This is a way to help build your own open-ness.
Unless you happen to hear high heels, turn around and see a half naked 6 foot 2 inch tranny walking down the street...hows that for an image :)
what image do you get when you hear them?
oh come on...we all know what image comes to mind..
Sexy Chick.
What is that? where does that come from. As I've taken my informal survey many people have told me that when they hear high heels what immediately comes to mind is the picture of a sexy chick. Despite knowing what they look like you suddenly have an image in your head of a hottie.
PSYCH!SENSE tells us that the image that comes into mind many times may be the ingrained response and idea from media. With men, as this is the only reference I can give, many times, the idea of skirts, stalkings, heels, button shirts and glasses pops in our head. The thought of the secretary...the thought of "forbidden fruit" will often come into mind as well.
A good friend of mine, Leeds says that "the idea of heels leads us to automatically think someone looks nice...and therefore hot." Don't we all have those images that automatically click with us. We have been trained to listen to and absolutely think of sexy.
If I said, "firefighter" many women....and men...would think sexy
A favorite of mine...when I see women mouthing along to a song at a random local place...I find it absolutely cute and amazingly sexy...
Same thing when something is high up and they have to tip toe to reach it...
Learn to find those things in your life that bring you to smile...that bring you to associate pictures in your life.
I write this blog as a way to demonstrate how many people associate various sounds with images which can be good and bad. Learn to recognize what you find sexy and fun as well as sad and low. This is a way to help build your own open-ness.
Unless you happen to hear high heels, turn around and see a half naked 6 foot 2 inch tranny walking down the street...hows that for an image :)
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
118. Screw You Princess!
Lets start from the beginning...
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess...who smelled of cookies and ginger bread...she would wake up everyday from her lavender scented bedding, the sheer shaw that hung over her window would glow with the morning light as the breeze and scent of roses and flowers awoke the princess everyday...and out that same window the princess would await for her prince...await for his coming...await for him to save her.
....
what do they not tell you?
The prince wakes up, loads on 80 pounds of tin...sweats his ass off in it...rides for days on end, likely without food or drink ...fights a freakin dragon, a gargoyle, godzilla, your mom and some sort of witch or evil queen...does the old school stairmaster and climbs up the staircase of death, jumps over a fire pit of hell to find the princess laying there saying, "I've been waiting for so long...where have you been?"
The prince's response, "I have found you that's all the matters"
The prince's REAL feelings, "SCREW YOU BI-OTCH....do you know what I had to do to get here!!?!?!?"
-----------------
We all know the fairy tale...we all know the common storyline and the drive to save the woman...but how does that translate today? how? for that I turn to the modern day club scene and the mating rituals there.
I was speaking to a friend yesterday who tells me, "When my ladies and I go to the club...sometimes we don't even have to take money..."
The idea was that in order to talk to her and her friends...the guys have to buy them a drink. Now PSYCH!SENSE tells me that this is their "price of admission" in order to be worthy of their time...you have to buy them a drink. Does this seem wrong?
Instead of being able to talk to a woman and just make conversation with you...you have to buy your way in? if that was the case...damn i'd buy sex all the time, skip the pleasantries and move in for the giggidy-ness.
But this is the fairy tale today. The guy walks into the club...finds a pretty gal...has to buy them a drink, fight with her wingwomen...ya know...the dragon, gargoyle, godzilla, evil witch (cause damn..some of them look like that) just to get to the princess ...offer her a drink and have her say, "get lost...i'm not interested"
Where did we lose the translation? It's sad to think that many woman (not all as I can hear the hordes of you screaming at me) will often go out to a club under the pretense of "I don't go out looking for anything..." knowing damn well that just by sitting there at a bar and puckering your lips, not doing anything...waiting for your prince charming- you are expecting to swept off your feet. It's true, many go under the false thought, "im just going for fun..." You can get free drinks without the need to do anything and without the intention of trying to get to know someone on a deeper level.
Talking to women is hard...if you don't have a certain look...a certain six pack or rippling arms the most you get is the opportunity to buy the girl a drink (because she doesn't want to spend her money) while she makes out with the fireman...(although lets me real some of them are hot...wait..what?) Over the course of one evening a woman will have about 15 men walk up to her and try to talk to her...I understand being selective...but often they only select for the hottest thing in there as oppose to talking to them...is this bad? well..technically no...whether or not you care...you have stopped growing when you do this. You have stopped moving towards the higher level of being that you can be when all you care about is their ass.
but trust me when I say...there is something damn hot about a tight ass than a saggy one..so I get it. The challenge is overcoming those drives and urges in exchange for something more.
Remember ladies...although I realize your type may be "tall, dark and asshole" (as I stole that from Rayna) it's those that have had to work hard and build personality that are the true winners.
Favorite fairy tales? Shrek and Beauty and the Beast
See the connection? monsters, ugly "princes" who are able to be loved outside of what they look like...
2 challenges?
1. the next time a shrek walks up to you at a bar...offer to buy him a drink...nothing intended...nothing expected...make sure he knows that...but talk to him..you'll make his world and in the process you yourself will grow.
2. there are some damn hot readers out there...damn hot. You know who you are. I challenge you to walk up to someone that may not be very hot...who may not have been gifted with absolute sexiness and chat them up...just for the experiment...see if they are anymore interesting than the rippling firefighter. Not to mention...you will absolutely change his world for the better...and like I said earlier..you will have grown in the process
For my less attractive readers, when you see the hot princess at the club...ignore them because they don't care about you in the slightest bit...but if you just have the absolute drive to talk to them..the drive and personal mission to get the hottest thing in the club...
here is your tip. Buy her drink...add Roofie. ta-da!
(for more reading see...blog 110 "I've got sssssteam heat" this is about how women may only be confident because they are used to men always hitting on them...it's false self esteem...also consider 109 "Play the game" sometimes we just have to suck it up and play the game/role that the environment expects of us)
Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess...who smelled of cookies and ginger bread...she would wake up everyday from her lavender scented bedding, the sheer shaw that hung over her window would glow with the morning light as the breeze and scent of roses and flowers awoke the princess everyday...and out that same window the princess would await for her prince...await for his coming...await for him to save her.
....
what do they not tell you?
The prince wakes up, loads on 80 pounds of tin...sweats his ass off in it...rides for days on end, likely without food or drink ...fights a freakin dragon, a gargoyle, godzilla, your mom and some sort of witch or evil queen...does the old school stairmaster and climbs up the staircase of death, jumps over a fire pit of hell to find the princess laying there saying, "I've been waiting for so long...where have you been?"
The prince's response, "I have found you that's all the matters"
The prince's REAL feelings, "SCREW YOU BI-OTCH....do you know what I had to do to get here!!?!?!?"
-----------------
We all know the fairy tale...we all know the common storyline and the drive to save the woman...but how does that translate today? how? for that I turn to the modern day club scene and the mating rituals there.
I was speaking to a friend yesterday who tells me, "When my ladies and I go to the club...sometimes we don't even have to take money..."
The idea was that in order to talk to her and her friends...the guys have to buy them a drink. Now PSYCH!SENSE tells me that this is their "price of admission" in order to be worthy of their time...you have to buy them a drink. Does this seem wrong?
Instead of being able to talk to a woman and just make conversation with you...you have to buy your way in? if that was the case...damn i'd buy sex all the time, skip the pleasantries and move in for the giggidy-ness.
But this is the fairy tale today. The guy walks into the club...finds a pretty gal...has to buy them a drink, fight with her wingwomen...ya know...the dragon, gargoyle, godzilla, evil witch (cause damn..some of them look like that) just to get to the princess ...offer her a drink and have her say, "get lost...i'm not interested"
Where did we lose the translation? It's sad to think that many woman (not all as I can hear the hordes of you screaming at me) will often go out to a club under the pretense of "I don't go out looking for anything..." knowing damn well that just by sitting there at a bar and puckering your lips, not doing anything...waiting for your prince charming- you are expecting to swept off your feet. It's true, many go under the false thought, "im just going for fun..." You can get free drinks without the need to do anything and without the intention of trying to get to know someone on a deeper level.
Talking to women is hard...if you don't have a certain look...a certain six pack or rippling arms the most you get is the opportunity to buy the girl a drink (because she doesn't want to spend her money) while she makes out with the fireman...(although lets me real some of them are hot...wait..what?) Over the course of one evening a woman will have about 15 men walk up to her and try to talk to her...I understand being selective...but often they only select for the hottest thing in there as oppose to talking to them...is this bad? well..technically no...whether or not you care...you have stopped growing when you do this. You have stopped moving towards the higher level of being that you can be when all you care about is their ass.
but trust me when I say...there is something damn hot about a tight ass than a saggy one..so I get it. The challenge is overcoming those drives and urges in exchange for something more.
Remember ladies...although I realize your type may be "tall, dark and asshole" (as I stole that from Rayna) it's those that have had to work hard and build personality that are the true winners.
Favorite fairy tales? Shrek and Beauty and the Beast
See the connection? monsters, ugly "princes" who are able to be loved outside of what they look like...
2 challenges?
1. the next time a shrek walks up to you at a bar...offer to buy him a drink...nothing intended...nothing expected...make sure he knows that...but talk to him..you'll make his world and in the process you yourself will grow.
2. there are some damn hot readers out there...damn hot. You know who you are. I challenge you to walk up to someone that may not be very hot...who may not have been gifted with absolute sexiness and chat them up...just for the experiment...see if they are anymore interesting than the rippling firefighter. Not to mention...you will absolutely change his world for the better...and like I said earlier..you will have grown in the process
For my less attractive readers, when you see the hot princess at the club...ignore them because they don't care about you in the slightest bit...but if you just have the absolute drive to talk to them..the drive and personal mission to get the hottest thing in the club...
here is your tip. Buy her drink...add Roofie. ta-da!
(for more reading see...blog 110 "I've got sssssteam heat" this is about how women may only be confident because they are used to men always hitting on them...it's false self esteem...also consider 109 "Play the game" sometimes we just have to suck it up and play the game/role that the environment expects of us)
Saturday, July 10, 2010
117. Hear Me!
The entire world is on Facebook. Everyone! I had a 79 year old patient that was talking to me about watering plants in his farmville garden because "it reminded me of the one I had growing up that I would have to work on" ....I was thinking..."cool...you had a farmville garden when you were 7 years old? about..72 years ago?" no, no I'm being mean. But you get the idea i'm sure.
what an interesting trend...you can absolutely see the type of personality that a person has simply by the type of crap they put on their status updates.
Types of Facebookers:
1. Quote writers
2. Joke makers
3. Drama queens
4. Attention whores
5. Half thought
1. You have the quote writers that will put a daily quote on their facebook, usually something deep and meaningful..."the butterfly will only flap it's wings if the junebug in vietnam has sex with a grasshopper and cums into the wind"
Or they put something scary as a way to show how strong and manly they are..., "Ancient chinese wisdom: take the sword from your hilt and cut off his balls while drinking the blood gushing from his torn throat that your pet vampire did..."
2. then you have the joke makers "...I have a great vocabulary, except during sex- usually I only use three words...'oh'....'ah'....and 'Im sorry'"
3. Oh my favorite...the Drama queen....you'll read in the morning how wonderful and beautiful the day is "wow..the birds woke me up this morning" ..then by about mid afternoon it turns into, "oh someone gave me a dirty look when I stuck my finger in the cats ass" then towards the evening, "OH MY GOD...FML (fuck my life) I just want to die now that I stepped in gum..."
4. Finally the attention whores. those are the ones who will put up a new status every 5 minutes. "just got up..." "no, I went back to bed" "wait...i'll get up now..." "hmm should I have eggs or oatmeal?" "I decided to go back to bed...goodnight" "no wait i'm up now..." hahah...they put every moment in their life...then they use status updates as their personal therapist...right? they start to put things on there about their girlfriend that slept with their poodle and how horrible life is yet only minutes ago loving it.
5. The half thought guys are the ones that secretly want attention (although don't we all) but will not admit it...instead they like put a quote or statement that would require someone in the facebook world to say, "what are you talking about?" for example, "today is the day..." or even, "I saw this pigeon screwing another one so I went up to them and..." Although everyone wants to be acknowledged on facebook but secretly will not admit it...the "half thoughters" are the ones that will instead say something to pull your attention...to pull your acknowledgment.
PSYCH!SENSE tells us that being the social animal that we are we need to have that constant connection and life-feeling moments. The avenue to express ourselves. I'm not saying any of this is bad...I'm simply saying that our generation is part of a development of human psychology where we strive for connection and want to feel less lonely in our existance with status updates giving us the opportunity to do that.
We all want to be acknowledged with what we say too. Just like in regular conversation. You put something on your status and you feel great that someone hit the damn little "like" button or even that someone quotes/says something back...because in those moments we have been acknowledged.
PSYCH!SENSE says that Our drive to be acknowledged is what fuels our lust for status updates. Maybe the person that puts updates every 10 seconds never received the needed attention from parents or while growing up and so in their adulthood- they now have an opportunity to be heard and will make sure ot it. No one will regulate them on status updates.
Although it is fun to almost sit in the background reading facebook updates, find your balance. Find where you can put part of your life into a digital medium but also find those closest to you as a way to express your emotion, pain, happiness and life with.
Take the time to make real human connection...real friends...real emotional bridges...not with just anyone...but at least with someone where facebook status updates can be balanced with your psychological ties to others.
what an interesting trend...you can absolutely see the type of personality that a person has simply by the type of crap they put on their status updates.
Types of Facebookers:
1. Quote writers
2. Joke makers
3. Drama queens
4. Attention whores
5. Half thought
1. You have the quote writers that will put a daily quote on their facebook, usually something deep and meaningful..."the butterfly will only flap it's wings if the junebug in vietnam has sex with a grasshopper and cums into the wind"
Or they put something scary as a way to show how strong and manly they are..., "Ancient chinese wisdom: take the sword from your hilt and cut off his balls while drinking the blood gushing from his torn throat that your pet vampire did..."
2. then you have the joke makers "...I have a great vocabulary, except during sex- usually I only use three words...'oh'....'ah'....and 'Im sorry'"
3. Oh my favorite...the Drama queen....you'll read in the morning how wonderful and beautiful the day is "wow..the birds woke me up this morning" ..then by about mid afternoon it turns into, "oh someone gave me a dirty look when I stuck my finger in the cats ass" then towards the evening, "OH MY GOD...FML (fuck my life) I just want to die now that I stepped in gum..."
4. Finally the attention whores. those are the ones who will put up a new status every 5 minutes. "just got up..." "no, I went back to bed" "wait...i'll get up now..." "hmm should I have eggs or oatmeal?" "I decided to go back to bed...goodnight" "no wait i'm up now..." hahah...they put every moment in their life...then they use status updates as their personal therapist...right? they start to put things on there about their girlfriend that slept with their poodle and how horrible life is yet only minutes ago loving it.
5. The half thought guys are the ones that secretly want attention (although don't we all) but will not admit it...instead they like put a quote or statement that would require someone in the facebook world to say, "what are you talking about?" for example, "today is the day..." or even, "I saw this pigeon screwing another one so I went up to them and..." Although everyone wants to be acknowledged on facebook but secretly will not admit it...the "half thoughters" are the ones that will instead say something to pull your attention...to pull your acknowledgment.
PSYCH!SENSE tells us that being the social animal that we are we need to have that constant connection and life-feeling moments. The avenue to express ourselves. I'm not saying any of this is bad...I'm simply saying that our generation is part of a development of human psychology where we strive for connection and want to feel less lonely in our existance with status updates giving us the opportunity to do that.
We all want to be acknowledged with what we say too. Just like in regular conversation. You put something on your status and you feel great that someone hit the damn little "like" button or even that someone quotes/says something back...because in those moments we have been acknowledged.
PSYCH!SENSE says that Our drive to be acknowledged is what fuels our lust for status updates. Maybe the person that puts updates every 10 seconds never received the needed attention from parents or while growing up and so in their adulthood- they now have an opportunity to be heard and will make sure ot it. No one will regulate them on status updates.
Although it is fun to almost sit in the background reading facebook updates, find your balance. Find where you can put part of your life into a digital medium but also find those closest to you as a way to express your emotion, pain, happiness and life with.
Take the time to make real human connection...real friends...real emotional bridges...not with just anyone...but at least with someone where facebook status updates can be balanced with your psychological ties to others.
116. I Have Purpose
Hello my wonderful readers...in the mist of everything in life...it was hard to actually sit down and do some meditative writing. I hope you took this opportunity to read previous entries! of course you did guys...right?
This topic was brought up by a friend of mine. Lately he has been on fire with ideas about various topics and suggestions...
PSYCH!SENSE question...what is it about waiting in line for the latest fad?
I saw this news report about people standing in line for like 10 days in advance in downtown LA waiting for the latest twilight movie. 10 days? YES! 10 days.
"Hey john so what did you do on your vacation?"
"yeah...I went to stand in line for the twilight movie, tried to hit on the 13 year old girls, then got desperate and slept with a life size cardboard cut out of bella on the cold hard concrete...it was hot."
There is a certain addiction that people have with these things.
1. Use it as a way to escape their own lives
2. Use it to feel on the "in" crowd
3. Boredum
4. Trying to get laid
5. Instant popularity
As people we all need our goals. What are we striving for? what's next for me? where do I go from here? Many times the latest fad gives us purpose. It allows us to feel connected as we stand in line and talk about it to others. To nerd out, dress up like the characters and fully embrace that perhaps in some weird way the movie in this example, is "just like my life"....ya know...being fought over by a wolf and vampire.
Release dates give us something to wait for..something to aim for...something that will instantly connect us with others. For the time afterward and the days/weeks sometimes that follow we will automatically have a topic to discuss, we will have people that will relate and we will be on the "IN" as others ask us about it...give us attention about it...and allows us to tell the story as if it was our own.
It then goes to say that you must be willing to find your other purposes. Now yes, these great things allow us to escape for a moment...dive into a different world and psyche...yes...but so does meth. or...great sex..or...life itself.
I'm absolutely guilty of standing in line for releases...it was fun..."backdoor sluts 9" is something worth standing in line for...
but ultimately you must be willing to find other goals and ways to have purpose and connection to people. Find your purpose.
This topic was brought up by a friend of mine. Lately he has been on fire with ideas about various topics and suggestions...
PSYCH!SENSE question...what is it about waiting in line for the latest fad?
I saw this news report about people standing in line for like 10 days in advance in downtown LA waiting for the latest twilight movie. 10 days? YES! 10 days.
"Hey john so what did you do on your vacation?"
"yeah...I went to stand in line for the twilight movie, tried to hit on the 13 year old girls, then got desperate and slept with a life size cardboard cut out of bella on the cold hard concrete...it was hot."
There is a certain addiction that people have with these things.
1. Use it as a way to escape their own lives
2. Use it to feel on the "in" crowd
3. Boredum
4. Trying to get laid
5. Instant popularity
As people we all need our goals. What are we striving for? what's next for me? where do I go from here? Many times the latest fad gives us purpose. It allows us to feel connected as we stand in line and talk about it to others. To nerd out, dress up like the characters and fully embrace that perhaps in some weird way the movie in this example, is "just like my life"....ya know...being fought over by a wolf and vampire.
Release dates give us something to wait for..something to aim for...something that will instantly connect us with others. For the time afterward and the days/weeks sometimes that follow we will automatically have a topic to discuss, we will have people that will relate and we will be on the "IN" as others ask us about it...give us attention about it...and allows us to tell the story as if it was our own.
It then goes to say that you must be willing to find your other purposes. Now yes, these great things allow us to escape for a moment...dive into a different world and psyche...yes...but so does meth. or...great sex..or...life itself.
I'm absolutely guilty of standing in line for releases...it was fun..."backdoor sluts 9" is something worth standing in line for...
but ultimately you must be willing to find other goals and ways to have purpose and connection to people. Find your purpose.
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