Ever go to a club, a party, a friends house, a bar mitzvah or sometimes a rainforest party and see a hot person? most likely...the hot person will have equally hot friends.
It must be said that we live in a society where physical appearance and looks are important. They do play a factor in attraction (sexually, intimately and within relationships)...they do. Although many can have the ability to see more than looks and work hard at accepting people as they are (usually because we can't accept ourselves) physical appearance is still important...sigh. Usually we'll all prefer to be with Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie than John Candy and the old school bus driver, who smelled of one and was about the size of one... With that being said...
PSYCH!SENSE question: Are you friends/hang out with those who are equally attractive as you are?
As a male there are millions of time when I go to a club, party, zoo, star trek dinner, wherever and when I go will see a pretty girl and automatically think, "hhmmmm..most likely she's gonna have hot friends....I'm gonna keep an eye out for some hot eye candy" For the most part you come to realize, "wait a minute...she freakin does....hook me up!!" The same can be said, for the most part, about those who are just...well...dog ugly (physically folks).
You may find a really unattractive person and realize, "wow...your friends are equally as unattractive as you are!...don't hook me up"
PSYCH!SENSE says a few things about this...
1. You will often surround yourself with those who you strive to be like
example: I want to be successful so I will surround myself by those who only want the same for themself
2. You will often surround youself with those who you feel are a reflection of yourself.
example: All of you are freakin gorgeous! I will put myself in your company because you remind me of who I am
3. You will often surround yourself with those who may provide competition with yourself
example: I'm gonna hang out with the best strippers in the world. This way I can learn some tricks and use them to become better than them!
4. You will often surround youself with those who may provide an ego boost for youself.
example: Because I'm so hot, if I surround myself with those who are "dog ugly" I will instantly be put out as the most attractive! (close to the idea of competition).
Which are you? only when being honest with yourself can you start to realize and see which category you fall into. You must be willing to challenge your own sense of choice and understanding in the attempt to become the whole and more full person.
Find your balance...if you notice you only hang out with hot friends...consider why you do it...think about how you feel around them and truly feel out if you do it for the sake of feeling close, connected and open with them...or because you're just being an ass.
On the other side, if your friends are not the most attractive also consider how you see yourself with them. Do you yourself feel as if you are not attractive? do you feel as if you aren't worthy of hanging out with supermodels because you yourself are not one?
This goes back to blog #119, "screw you princess" those who are great looking do not turn your head up to people or hold yourself as "better" than them because they aren't as hot or have hot friends like you...simply be open to the person and amazing character that they have. For those who feel they are unattractive consider how you feel internally and your own sense of personal attraction. Because quite honestly...after you hang out with anyone long enough...they begin to feel attractive...they begin to feel handsome or beautiful...they become so much "better" physically than when you first met them...usually...
It's good for you ;)
I always find myself hanging out with my girls that are less attractive. I never really put it into words until now. I feel horrible. I do tink I do it so that I can feel prettier. Am I a horrible person? I just think that I enjoy the attention I get from guys.
ReplyDeleteHi anon: ya know..often times we find ourselves searching for attention because of our drive to be seen and acknowledge. If no one sees us or acknowledges us....how do we know we exist? So I understand your enjoying attention. I would simply suggest that you take the time to consider your time out with your girls as a time for feminine bonding and friendship. Getting attention is great from the opposite sex...quite honestly...we all want that...but getting attention in a healthy way from family and friends with true love behind it will always out do the drunken douche bag looking to get laid. Love yourself and feel the emotion from your girls...you are not a horrible person, you just forgot for a second how amazingly beautiful you already are.
ReplyDeleteI like what you said about someone beginning to feel attractive after you hang out with them for a certain amount of time. What is really going on is that you're beginning to see the person for who they are and become attracted to them based on what's on the inside rather than what is just seen on the surface. I love it when you meet someone and you instantly click! It's awesome. But it's also a great feeling when you meet someone and somewhat get along with them, but as more time passes you begin to know the real them and become enamored with who that person is. It is then that you realize that you really enjoy the company of this person and choose to surround yourself with that person and people that have the same outlook.
ReplyDeleteWith regards to your first category, why do you make it seem like it is a bad thing to surround yourself around others who strive for the good things in life? Is it bad to have positive influences like that in your life? I think as long as it is done for healthy reasons and not competitive ones like the stripper example, it's all gravy!