"My wife and I are having some problems recently Psych. I can't help but think that she is just not the same person that I first met years ago. I love her, but the spark isn't there like it used to be and I'm not sure what's going on. What can I do to help us?"
Remember when you first met her? Most likely, you sat at a table or wherever and asked her a million things about her...her favortie color...her favorite movies...her favorite foods....what she likes to read....remember the early times? You were so interested in knowing who she was...knowing what made her...her. You wanted to just breathe her in...touch her.
I believe that over time....naturally...we forget to keep asking. We forget to continue exploring. We forget to appreciate and explore the things about her that are and are not the same. We expect them to always be the same....we expect that although her favorite movie back then was Forest Gump...it now must still be Forest Gump 10+ years later...the fact is that she has changed....and you didn't notice.
I know this to be true because like your wife...YOU have changed...your tastes are not the same as they were when you first met and to imagine that hers have not is not fair. Just imagine when people wore parachute pants and thought MC Hammer was the type of fashion that would never die....yeah...not so much. Anyways, she has changed...you have changed. Take the time to get to know the new her....explore...breathe her again.
You also have to have a conversation with her. Ask her how she feels about the relationship and express to her what your concerns have been. She may not have noticed anything and it all lies with you..which is a different conversation to have.
For now...tell her about your feelings...identify how you feel...then explore her. Get to know her. Breathe her in again.
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