We walk around with a set thought of who we are and what we bring. Everyone does. We use this internal measuring stick, this idea with everyone and everything we encounter. This invisible internal stick ends up becoming that which we then use to compare ourselves with others. This internal stick becomes our psuedo self...a self that is not a representation of who you really are...but instead a fabricated self that we THINK others want us to be.
The guy with raging pecs...the girl with a big rack...the guy with a fancy car...the girl with a small waist line....
What happens?
well...one day you're walking along and run across a cute girl...your stick comes out (ey yo) and instead of you being you, you end up trying to show this stick. This psuedo self comes out.
Where does this stick come from?
It comes from a variety of places...a cracked foundation growing up, abusive relationships, parents walking with with a pseudo self....but ultimately, I believe it comes from fear. Fear that we will not be accepted or held, that our love will not be returned...
So fear stunts us...ever hear that line from friends...."I keep finding the same type girl...." or even, "All the good guys are either taken or gay?"
Those are excuses. Those are statements we use to defend ourselves...yes, yes, yes defense is good but not when it keeps you grom growing.
I believe that people only accept the type of love that they think they deserve....and unfortunately, that definition of "what I deserve" stems from your psuedo self...not your true self.
So what do you do...
You need to take an inventory of who you are. Here's your shopping list:
What are your gifts?
What do you bring?
What makes you smile?
What do you value?
When you "feel" that you don't "measure" up, can you tell your psuedo self to shut the fuck up?
What else can you add to this list?
...oh and pick up some eggs
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