The year was 2004 and I was sent to Iraq. I can remember jumping onto that C130 jet flying across the world to engage in combat that could probably end my life. Amongst all the racing thoughts, the fear of death, the fear of the unknown and the ultimate worry about the loss that would ensue- all I could think about was..."dammit..there is only one woman here for 80 guys..."
So in my unit we had like one woman...let me also say, she was ugly. I hate to use such a word when describing anyone, but consider a lost front tooth, ginger with red hair and like...blonde eyebrows...yeah...one of those. Physical features..yeah...acne scars (bad too)...I mean..she was a Marine sure..but boy, she was..yeah...yeah.
She was one of boys though...she was hardcore, could out drink many marines when we went out, she would pick fights with others, throw punches and curse like no other. hahah...she had once told us that she had only been laid once- by her cousin. True.
Well...we went to Iraq and while over there...about 10 month into it..some of the guys started getting a bit...ya know..desperate....ya know...horny. well who did they turn to? you got it...me. I started to pimp her out. kidding.
She did end up hooking up with just about 60 guys..gross I know. Plus I think she was getting paid for it..but that's a different story. The thing about it is that she began to develop a strong cockiness...strong cockiness! She thought she was Buddha reincarnate...she thought she was the shit because..well..everyone was on her tits.
PSYCH!SENSE question: Is self esteem built because of who we are or does it only exist because people feed it to us?
Let's jump into it. A strong sense of self worth, strong value system and established foundation in who you are are keys to having a strong self esteem...as well as sleeping with desperate blog writers.
Now we all know when you see a hot....overly hot...lavish and peacocking man or woman walking by screaming to the world how hot they are...the more likely they feel like crap on the inside. If they deny it..yeah...it's even worse.
Some people though are born with just great looks. I mean...they are born...and somehow things just work out and they become hot...like all asians. well..only the ones born in the U.S....because if born in other countries they tned to be damn fugly...seriously right? you see one and you're like...damn!?!!? get yo' teeth did...wear deodorant...go to the U.S. because young asian women there are sexy...anyways...
PSYCH!SENSE tells us that those born hot are told from an early age, "hey baby..I wanna knock the boots with ya..." now yes...that's vulgar but isn't it true? if you are used to being told how beautiful you are...if you are used to being told how sexy and hot you are...if you are constantly hit on...you then believe it and accept it. This is the "fool's gold" of self esteem. If wasn't built or earned...it was just given. Just like with children...when told negative things all their lives growing up...what happens? well that's easy ...they become sad, depressed and exhibit low self esteem...see! same thing with looks.
Now those born with...well..slightly less than perfect "hotness" (unlike me of course), must rely on good ol' hard work and sweat to build their self esteem. They have to accomplish things, complete their life's missions and build their own self of wonderful self.
Haven't you all heard that joke? ugly people have to be good at sex....because they have to have something to keep the partner around...hot people get it all the time so they don't have to worry about developing their sex game. HA!
So when we came back from Iraq...this same marine gal that I wrote about earlier would go to the bar...to the club...to all these places with the same thought, "everyone wants to do me..i'm so hot." well...as you could guess...she was turned down flat each time. She didn't develop the mental toughness and self esteem needed to back up her being rejected...this hurt her.
Now I realize it goes back to the answer of...well it's both and neither. It is created and fed by others...but it is also never created but instead many are fooled into believing they are hot and in turn the false self esteem.
How do you know which you are...well...only you can answer that in the deepest of your thoughts. Although I realize self esteem is more than physical looks and traits...duh...but for the sake of this blog and sitting in thought consider it from only the physical perspective. If you went out in public and someone walks up to you and says, "hahahah...you're fucken ugly" could you take it? now yes..it would upset us, that's granted...but would that comment kill your day? probably. Kill your week? maybe. Kill your month? whoa. Kill your year? ouch.
many would say, "no...that's his problem" but in being honest with yourself in acknowledging the pain you feel you must ask: How long does that comment hurt for? a day..sure...a week? maybe...here is your test, how strong is your self of self? how long does it hurt for is a good way to measure your sense of *physical esteem.
what do the philosophers think?
This can be tied into your other blog, I think it's called Feed my need, you know the one about the compliments. Anywho, compliments both verbal and nonverbal do feed our self-esteem levels. We have to make sure we don't feed into them too much or else we become overly confident. And c'mon now, how many people find cockiness sexy for long periods of time? We have to be able to maintain a balance. It also helps us protect ourselves so that in the event someone were to call us fugly or even pug-fugly we would be able to handle it without breaking down for a week or a year
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