109. Play The Game

This topic is almost an expanding of an earlier blog topic named "what do you ask of me"

PSYCH!SENSE question: If you are expected to act in a certain way at a certain place do you do it?

For those of you who may have read my England blog you'll read that I found myself surrounded by certain expectations. I was told by some buds of mine that genenerally American's are seen as "fat, loud and stupid." ...hm...I can't argue that about myself...because well let's face it..that is me. But it's not the case for many other Americans.

I start with this because I found myself instead of fighting the stereotype...engaging with it. I would purpose make myself louder...make myself into the social butterfly...make myself into the stereotype. The difference? I would purposely get in under that stereotype but then try and overcome it through my actual personality.

Consider this...we often find ourselves in a situation where we will often say, "yeah yeah..I gotta play the game" meaning...I have to go along with whatever is happening. Our lives are filled with such roles and expectations.

Examples:
You go and meet your partner's family and for the first time are really, really nice...despite you actually being a manipulative bitch...you are playing the game

You go to a club...try and use psychobabbo philosophy and talk to an attractive person..both you and him/her know that you are only doing it because you want to get laid :) welcome!...you are playing the game

You are at work and you know that you are meant to put on a smart professional outlook instead of admitting that you just slept with the manager as you were trying to get a head (heyo!!...dirty). You are playing the game

Now am I saying that if you are black that you go out and rob people? or jewish and horde money? or even mexican and sleep on the job? (damn...that was racist)....NO! i'm saying that you must be willing to accept the part of the stereotype or game piece that you are expected to play...in an effort to know their side and overcome it.

In therapy, the therapist will often hear that person's side...their perspective...build the rapport that way by being present and allowing the person to be at ease. We don't engage initially and we don't automatically tear into their lives...we simply listen. This is our piece we are meant to play. This is our game. It is only in time that we are able to work the game in our favor.

Think about it! we often will go on a date...offer open ear and be such amazing people..but after time we realize..."OH I don't have to do that anymore because i'm already in..." then we stop doing it. You play the game....

Guys will often want to get into sex...bam bam bam...but we all know that the lady wants the foreplay...(trust me...guys like it too...just not so long...ugh) ...anyways..guys would be willing to skip that...but we go through foreplay as a way of playing the game necessary to "WARM" her up so we can...ya know...get giggidy.

I recently got a luxury car. SIGH! I know...I find myself asking myself why I should drive it...it was only through meditation and contemplation that I figured out...I was playing the game. With many of my patients...they expect a certain role..a certain game to be played...professionalism...I play the game...until I get in where I can work with them in a different type of way.

I allow myself to engage with the game and play the role that is initially expected at the hope that I will have the opportunity to engage with it in a different way afterward.