The next question is the idea of having opposite sex friends.
PSYCH!SENSE question...can we have opposite sex friends?
Now there are levels of friends...See my blog on types of friends...
Many of the men i've spoken to about this say "NO" they cannot have opposite sex friends. Many times, the only way they can do it is if their friend is absolutely not of physical interest to the guy...if the guy does not feel physical attraction to her then perhaps it can work out...difficulty is that many guys claim the ability to have friendship with women but I feel that they really harbor the drive to screw them.
Come on gents...lets be real...we all kinda feel it...just not as strongly as others at times...but we have this sense of "I wonder...." right? we wonder what it would be like...plus there is the biological sense of spreading the seed, dominance...blah blah blah...i'll get into that another time. When we are single many times we make friends with women because of the potential to "HIT THAT" Few peeps can make a friend with someone else because of the potential for deep connection...
haha...how many guys would say, "Man I really want to damn!..walk up to that girl...sit her down next to her and totally have a deep conversation with her..." (unless you're me...no wonder...) most would say, "i'm gonna walk right up to her and say WHATEVER it takes to tap that ass..." it's sad but true.
...I once had a girlfriend that truly cared for and when I was in Iraq fighting for the good ol' red, white and blue...she ended up cheating on me- with my best friend at the time. UGH! I know. I got back and she told me that she wanted to be friends since she was with my best friend now and she still felt connected to me...I told her, "get lost bitch, you cum gurgling walking sperm bank" (what do you expect I was in the Marine Corps for 7 years..and I just got back from war...she's lucky I didn't go all serial killer on her). I cut them both out of my life (not literally). Years later after no communication...I got an invitation to their wedding...did I go? many of my readers would not have gone...but I did. Why? Well one...free booze and food...and two I started to see the power of psychology and the power of peace and happiness...I told myself...if she was going to cheat on me, i'm glad she did it with the man she'd end up marrying.
When I used to compete in martial arts...I hated losing...like we all do..but what made me feel better was to think...if I lose to someone...it better be the guy that wins the whole damn competition...
PSYCH!SENSE tells me that friendship, deep ones anyways, are about the ability to have mutual service to one another. I have my best friends because I know...I could call them and ask for 30 bucks and they would say, "I'll be there to drop it off in an hour..." For them, they know that they can call me and say, "dude...I got a random girl pregnant" and I would say, "get me my surgical knife..." ......KIDDING!!!! it's the shock factor readers...JUST KIDDING! why would I want to cut my friend because he got a girl pregnant...geez.
I challenge my readers to question the roles of friends in your life. THere are levels of friendship....there are!!! I've had people that I tried to make best friends with, tried to incorporate with and have lifelong connections with only to discover that they secretly were jealous and starting personal investigation into my life history, criminal record and credentials...instead of retaliation my relationship now with them is simple "hi" and "bye".
There are too many people in world to hold anger with...you can simply learn to change your role in their life and their role in yours. AGAIN! it's about mutuality and respect...do not friend a girl...if you plan on getting in her pants..(unless thats all you want)...do not friend a person under the fake idea of friendship only to attack them afterward...you will end up lonely and feeling empty. Only a certain few can have friends with the opposite sex that can be platonic...only few can do this. When you think of your friends or acquantances (sp?) consider what they do for you and what you do for them.
There is nothing wrong with harboring feelings sexual or whatever towards another person...but it may be wrong to act on every feeling you get that could be detrimental to their life, your own life or your happy relationship. Sure...sometimes it's worth it...but be very careful with that. Many of you i'm sure have friends of the opposite sex and if you're a guy perhaps friends that you wouldn't mind seeing/hearing her "O" face...it's okay to have these fantasies...but at the cost of what you have...make sure it's worth it. Learn to appreciate you already have...learn to feel the love that you two hold in a way that is beyond the physical...sure it's hard...and damn near impossible...but so what...man up
Can you have friends of the opposite sex?
ReplyDeleteaaah not only a lesson on "being only friends" but a lesson on forgiveness!! how sweet!
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is another blog topic that I have yet to put up. In reference to this blog I will simply say, we all have the ability to forgive and if you do...you have the ability to choose the depth of the relationship from that point forward. Surface level friends, "hi and bye" or deep level friends.
ReplyDeleteWow man, i remember when i thought i could actually be friends with every girl came accross. I later found out that simply is not possible. I learnd (the very very nice way and the "damn i want to take this ice pick and stick it in my eye" way) that you know if you want to be friends with somebody within the first conversation. Most of the time you (if you're a guy) you want to screw the living daylight out of them... But sometimes you come accross a girl you dont even want to talk to ever again..... And on more rare occations you find a girl you actually want to be friends with.... very very rare occations.
ReplyDeleteThe Dumb Jock
Yes you can have friends of the opposite sex. It's called self-control people! Not a very difficult thing, however it is more difficult for some than it is for others. Platonic relationships do exist out there. Granted they might now always start out that way but as time and the relationship progresses you tend to build more of a family brother/sister type of relationship. But I do agree that it probably is more difficult for men than for women. Men are horn dogs, plain and simple
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Gaby......Platonic relationships do exist.....I have a friend who is a male since High School and our relationship started Platonic and has become a brother/sister type relationship after 16 years!!!! I can truly count on my friend for anything and he has been there through good and bad times.......He can count on me to be there for him as well......We continue to be friends and with no sex involved....
ReplyDelete@anon: I just wonder...if you were to look straight at him and say, "dude...I want you right here right now...." would he say no?
ReplyDeletePsych, I would have to say he would say No just because that would be my response.....We have such a good thing that I would never change it......He is like my brother and looks out for me as me him......
ReplyDelete