There comes a point in life when you can honestly say, "oh shit...I have to make a big boy decision."
Now for my older (I mean older than me for you sensitive types), you may want to skip this one (although I know you won't because most of you love me) because it's going to talk about "younger" issues...although even as I write that little sentance I imagine that no matter what age you are physically...mentally we always have those moments of "oh shit...I have to make a big boy decision."
we get married early...we have kids on accident...we decide to go to the club and buy booze or stay at home and drink for cheap...ultimately we all have these points at which we think to ourselves...damn...I have to make the right decision...
take for exampe a wo/man in his/her late 20's. Let's say they've been in a relationship with some for years...years... eventually the questions in our own minds start to come out..."is s/he the one? should I be thinking about marriage? kids?" although I don't intend to answer this I would like for readers to just consider things. We all come to a point...a decision that needs to be made...that takes us out from, "do I want to hit up the club scene hit on all kinds of the wrong people under the excuse 'i'm just being social' or just say, this person i'm with is worth more to me and I want to be a big boy/girl"
walk or crawl?
club scene or settle down?
candy or veggies?
early to bed or a night of drinking?
play with my kids or let the tv do it?
be a dad or be their friend?
love or like?
retire or keep working?
I forgot who said it but as I write my reverie takes me to an old quote.
"As I grew up I would always think...someone else will make the decision...someone else will help me pick what to do or where to go...now when I go to different places and I start to see disorder and something in need of a decision I start to realize that instead of asking 'where are all the adults at?' I realize, 'oh yeah...I am the adult'"
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ReplyDeletewhat was the question?
ReplyDeletepeople should do whatever they are in the mood for
- i don't like the term "settle down" because it implies you have nowhere left to go
but if yo care about someone, and they make you happy, and they are "the one"
then no need to rush into the social expectations of marriage and procreation
- enjoy each other's company, and live your lives
- pursue your individual desires, and take part in your mutual endeavors
you're right...I didn't put a question...doh! geez...can you think of one? maybe something like.."how do you make the big boy choices in life?"
ReplyDeleteI like how you said that buddy..the Social expectations of marriage...we have to learn to enjoy the company...I suppose the question I have to that is...how do you know they are "the one" what do you find yourself experiencing?
I guess I'd frame the question as: How can we look at those 'Oh shit' moments in order to better understand the nature of the forces working on us?
ReplyDeleteI find myself in such moments a lot. For me, being honest with myself about all the circumstances of the matter is the greatest challenge. On a figurative level, I stick my fingers in my ears and make loud noises. Very childish. I do this to avoid making the decision, rather than taking the opportunity to consider what it is about the circumstances that triggers me.
As touched on above, many of our instincts have been shaped by social expectations to the extent that "doing the right thing" might not be the "right thing" of us.
On another topic: It seems to me that this blog post, while it strives to approach the topic in a generalized way, keeps coming back to the question of how to know if the one you are with is "the one." And while the two threads are not mutually exclusive, I wonder if the presence of both compromises our ability to focus on either.
perhaps it forces us to consider the connection of both? perhaps you read it and take what you can from it? or...maybe i'm head floats around so much I have no ability to focus...I LOVE ADHD!
ReplyDelete