72. "me and you...and you and me...no matter how we toss the dice..."

If you have been keeping up with the comments you'll know where this topic comes from...by the way...many of you have asked me about putting comments on these things...and now that I have "allowed" it to happen...only one person does it?!?! lame!

anyways...

The question? what kind of friend are you? I like to imagine life as a river...yes yes yes i'm getting metaphoric all over your face right now...but life is a river..we all are floating down it on little row boats (mine is named little skippy...surprisingly close to the nickname of one of my body parts). what was my point...whatever.. oh yes friends...

Now there are not really set categories or structures in place but I would like to propose some...again this is no inclusive...in fact in the comment box feel free to add more categories and write about them!!!!!!!!!!!

Types of Friends (in no particular order):

holy - This type of relationship is the one where you know...you absolutely KNOW that no matter what happens in life...no matter what shitty thing you did..no matter how long you've known them...this type of friend is that type that would say, "no officer his ass was with me the whole time that night he didn't supposedly kill a donkey, make love to it's dead carcass, rub the blood on his genitals while jerking off a spider monkey."

temporal - These types of friends are the ones that come into your life for only a moment and in that moment you realize how amazingly well you can connect to someone. Haven't we all had that? come on...the guy you run into at a starbucks? the girl at the local target? These are the friends that you just freakin hit it off with...it just clicks. The sad part is that these types are ususally the short lived ones...the ones that you will always have a connection with...but one that is never quite long enough...

hater - Hater? yes!!! the hater-friend. I know, I know...this is the friend that is with you through all your good times right by your side and right when karma swings around to give you a high five are the ones that kinda disappear or become passive aggressive. The type of friend that when you are down they are right there...but when life gives you gold are the ones that kinda go quiet...disappear for a while and come back with you've got close to nothing.

competitor - This is very, very, very, similar to the hater friend. This is the type of friend that needs to compare their own achievements to yours. The type of friend that says, "oh you've done how much with your life to this point? wow! well look at the size of my cock...it's bigger than yours." While you're as giddy as a school girl about to get laid on prom night with the captain of the football team, they're the ones trying to get laid with your mom while sticking a finger in the closest cup of pudding. (probably the type checking all my typos in these things trying to get 'one up' on me ;)

mutual - This is the one that you kinda know...that one random person that you see often enough that you just have to say hi to. The one person that when you go to the local pub they are there crying about their day (as like you are). Or even the friend of a friend that you will never really know because let's face it...they are your friends friend...not your friend. haha...I keep thinking of times when I go to family parties of friends and I ask, "who's that?" and my friend will often answer...."a cousin...don't know much more than that"

Can you have all of them? yes!!! is it possible to have none of them...yes!!! what's the point....I don't know...but consider the types of friends and people you have around you and although I kinda made up these titles try and think which one fits who your friends are..

here's something to totally blow you off. A personal quote of mine...we've all heard, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" ....well my response is, "do you unto others as you do unto yourself" If you have a hater friend...really, really, really ask yourself...are they like that because I'm like that with them? think about it...are you!?!??! perhaps we are the hater friend that when we are with them act like that so they in turn act like that with us.

PSYCH!SENSE tells us this. Ultimately my wonderful readers...ultimately...each person brings something new to our lives...we meet with others and interact with them because they bring something into our own lives. The holy teaches us love...the temporal teaches us loss...the hater teaches us compassion...the competitor teaches us resiliency...and the mutual teaches us respect.

(while the two buck ho teaches us ointment)...geez...where did that come from...