150. Sky dive

I was recently motivated by a friend to write this one...

I have been in an interesting place in life. I find myself not worried about much, concerned with much or very much bothered by much. I suppose I feel an awkwardness...a funky love in the world.

now that's an interesting things in itself there...love.

I've written about it before and yet it never ceases to amaze me that the beauty of love can never be expressed or spoken about precisely for all to understand...but by it's simple four letter we all individually "know" what it is.

Love is a ravaging thing isn't it? it demands all of us...it forces us to consider the world around us...angrily or lovingly...it controls us.

I believe this is the hardest part of love. It demands an opening of the soul..of the person. I see love on a few different levels all of which I will NOT get into today. But most amazing about it is it's odd underlying meaning.

When two people are in love, you end up having to expose the worse things about yourself...the most painful qualities you have to another person. Especially hard is knowing that often times we are too timid to expose these things to ourselves...to truly acknowledge that we are not in control of ourselves and that we truly are jacked up...if we cannot accept that...how do we expect someone that we want to take us in.

Both people must be willing to serve to the other. As you give your partner, know that you must be given in return. But that's the beauty and curse. Again, love requires an opening to the soft gooey center within us. The worry about love comes from our inability to handle it...from our inability to grasp it and control it. It is demanding, painful, variable, and if you're not looking- it will get the jump on you and kick you in the ass. Yet love is just that...it is a dangerous and demanding thing that forces us to grow and be punched in the nuts (or boobs). A sky diving rush, where the sting and force of the wind in your face is always more fun than the landing. Having love isn't the rush...fighting...growing and trying for it is. The sky dive is...the speeding down the highway is...the "UGH, FUCK, SHIT, YES, BAM, PLEASE, URGE" is the real rush. You must let love infect you.

Go be in love now.