"Why is it that I will sometimes text the girl I'm seeing but she will sometimes take hours to text me back, or doesn't return it at all. I've asked her about it but usually she'll just tell me that she doesn't see it or that she's busy to answer it. Come on, it take 20 seconds to answer someone! is she being honest or just blowing me off"
Hey there...eekk...and ugh...I'm absolutely just like her. Except without the boobs. although I have been gaining weight lately...
anyways, I have a few different answers for you. First off, I would challenge your narcisstic drive, meaning- you thinking that it's all about you.
sorry...the world doesn't revolve around you...(it's busy revolving around me :)
WHA!??!?! yep...when you text someone right in the moment that you feel it and expect them to automatically be available to you in that moment...you are assuming that they are not busy and have the time to answer you. In a deep psychological way...you are expecting the world to contour and fit to your needs when you want it. "I will text the girl...but she will take hours to text me back" this is a control issue. Perhaps texting is not her thing? maybe she's more of a "call me" type of girl.
On the other side...I don't know how long you've been seeing her but telling her your concern and being honest with her may be the way to go- it may seem that she isn't being respectful to you, if she never messages you back especially. If you need her to text you back because that is what you feel you need as a value..then you need to tell her how you feel.
With some self reflection consider your own needs...if you're the type that feels love through attention from another when you need it..let her know it. YOu must be willing to tell her/people what does it for you...what you need. If she cannot do what you feel you need (and vice versa) then she may not be the one for you.
The issue I have with all this text business is that it sort of invades a person's right to space and privacy. I know that sounds odd. But, consider that your girl could be doing any number of things that she must get done before she texts you. There's a time issue that just never seems to be respected among people that text. It may mean she's just busy and even to stop and take a few seconds may not be enough for you and she knows it. So, instead of answering your text , because she may be too busy to have a full on text conversation with you. it's much easier for her to just wait til she has the time. I do not feel compelled to have to answer every single text that is sent my way , unless it is from my hubby or my son. Depending on who is texting me , they just might not take a " hey Im busy right now, get back to you when I can" text so kindly. It may open up a flurry of texts that I just don't care to deal with. so honestly it's easier just to not answer the text and as I said, it depends completely on who's texting me. There are some real narcissists out there. that truly believe the entire universe revolves around their texting schedule. So, if you're one of those rapid texters that text continually when she's not answering you, then you might want to consider that you may be pissing her off, or like Psycho doc said she may not be that into. Just sayin'
ReplyDeleteI think it's important to keep a generation effect in mind. What I mean by that is I've noticed people in my generation are pretty dependent on cell phones. Generations after my own are extremely dependent on their cell phones. Some really don't even need to have a cell phone, but that's beside the point.
ReplyDeleteSince people are so dependent on cell phones, their life can sometimes revolve around their phone, sad I know. Others can't go anywhere without their phone.
I've had a cell phone for years now, and I've noticed the amount of time I use the phone for actual verbal conversations has gradually decreased. While my plan consists of 1000+ minutes and unlimited text messaging, the amount of data usage on my line is ridiculous. Now a days, we don't really feel the need to verbally communicate as much since sometimes it's more convenient to send a text.
Generations before mine don't really see the need to text or don't bother learning how to text, which is okay.
I agree with Michele, there's absolutely nothing wrong with a person answering a text if/when they get a chance. You never know what a person is doing when you send them a text. Their life may not revolve around you or their text. They may actually have a life outside of you. Although I'm an avid text messenger, I don't see anything wrong with an old fashioned phone conversation when time allows for it. Rather than getting all psycho over unanswered messages and blowing up your significant others phone, be grateful that they are even giving you the time of day with their busy schedule. Take that into consideration and don't be psycho or narcissistic. Just a thought =)
I dated someone who was like this. She'd get super passive aggressive if I didn't respond right away. At first, I thought it would pass if I did respond but it only got worse so I would purposely wait a few hours to show them that while it's important for me to respond to them, my world does not revolve around them. You're seeing them. You're not married. Even if you were married to them, there has to be an understanding that you can't be on lockdown. People just aren't happy that way.
ReplyDeleteI heard an interesting reply to this the other night....they simply said this, "She's just not that into him....why the hell hasn't anyone said this already?!?!"
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