125. "It wasn't me...it was my ego"

I have been missing...my bad! but look for Psychobabbles on amazon soon! wow...can you believe it? one of my readers wants to publish all this made up crap? wow...

anyways...here we are.

"Dear psyche! my partner always tells me that I will remember all the bad things she does but that I never, EVER remember the sweet things she does. I try to talk to her about it but for some reason she doesn't think I love her enough to notice the small things. The fact is that I do remember the good things she does and tell her but I think she's just remembering the bad for some reason. HELP!

-Anne"

Hi there anne, this is an interesting thing right here. The truth is that we often tend to remember that bad things because usually those are the things that hurt us. Why? ...a whole mess of reasons why.

One of the biggest ones is that we are always "in control" meaning...our Ego (which is the guy in charge of our psychological balance) is always controlling stuff.

"I'm the hottest gal around" -ego
"I can get a hotter chick than him" -ego
"I'm the most awesomest person ever" -PSYCH! (kidding)

Soooo...when we are insulted it is because our ego was thrown off balance. Something messed it up..something threw it a curve ball. When we are insulted it sticks to us because it forces the ego to consider what was said to be true:

a girl tells me, "hey, your clothes smell weird" even if they do not, my ego is thinking, "oh damn...I thought I was in control... and knew that my clothes were clean"

This is why we will remember those "attacks" more than the compliments. Are you the type that doesn't take compliments well??? It may be because you don't believe the other person! You don't believe them because if the ego didn't create it ...it doesn't exist. Funky ey?

Make sense?

an insult from another ? - Ego loses control making it feel attacked by the other
a compliment from another? - Ego says, "it can't be true...because I didn't create it myself"

So when your partner is saying you don't notice the good things...consider how much of that is true...and consider if she/you are not letting your egos run in charge