Let's just jump right into it!
PSYCH!SENSE question...is the best way to get over an ex through meeting someone new?
We've all been there...your heart gets broken..but not just broken but...like stampeded on, picked up, chewed on, ripped into pieces and then spat on. OHHH YES it hurts. When we break up with a person it has to do with a piece of us that is no longer there. It hurts because we allow that person to embed with the part of us that is truly vulnerable and in turn truly hidden from others.
When we meet someone we have our baggage and carry with us the scars of our family, our past relationships and emotional turmoils. This new person fills in those scars and creates in us a sense of happiness and completeness. We've felt it before right? When you're with that person you just FEEL right...the day is brighter and the nights are that much more beautiful. hahah...right? when every love song is about you two? when every single romantic movie is "just like her and me". Where every call or text you get, you're hoping it's from them? haha. PSYCH!SENSE tells me that it's because we have become more whole and more complete...imagine that! we feel the birds singing when we become emotionally stable with another!!!
Here is the question though. Why is it that this emotional "stable-ness" can only exist when you are in the presence of another? As I was asking others, they told me that the only way they can truly get over him/her is by finding a new one to fill their place. WHAT?!?!? Now yes, having the connection and feeling the emotional completeness is important...we enjoy it better when we are together...
For a raunchy example...imagine the times you and your partner are totally going at it...bam bam bam...bam bam bam...bam bam SLIP!....what's the first thing you say? "PUT IT BACK IN!" lol...it just fits. Or less...when us men try and put on a magnum and realize..."damn...there's enough room in the condom for three fingers still...." (I had to use myself as an example)...anyways....you reach for the normal one because it fits.
The point of all these sick sexual references? well..nothing really...it's just meant for shock and laughs...but honestly..it's meant more for the concept that instead of simply building emotional support on our own, we tend to need someone to fill that gap. THAT IS NOT RIGHT!!
The challenge for the readers? How many of you have found yourself wanting to build strong emotional independance? probably a lot. You must first be willing to build a stable foundation for yourself before you try and give it away to someone else. If you have less emotional stability than your partner does...his/her emotional stability will overpower yours and you will become lost in him/her and dependent on him/her.
THIS IS BAD! We've seen it with friends right? they meet a guy or girl and suddenly they change, they become different, they alter and end up being more like their partner than their own self...they have taken up more of their partner's personality than their own...this is normal...yes...but where is the balance?
Think of it like two buckets of paint. If you have a cup of blue paint, and your partner has a five gallon bottle of yellow what happens when you mix them? You end up with a color that is all yellow and MAYBE has a bit of blue..but for the most part it's yellow. If you come in with 2 gallons of blue paint and your partner with 5 gallons of yellow paint then what happens? You end up with a bit of a different color...a nice mix. Ultimately though...when you come in with 5 gallons of blue and they come in with 5 gallons of yellow what do you get? YOU GET GREEN! a whole new color that is composed beautifully and equally. When you are both mixed together...you change with one another equally and in a way that is a wonderful mix of two.
Aim for this! Build your own emotional strength so that when you're ready to mix you have an equal emotional share to play with, and you do not become eaten up by him/her. You instead become a part of the new color that has been created.
Fill your Jugs
Depends on the type of relationship you want to engage in with that new person you just met. If it's a rebound guy or girl, I'm not gonna lie, it is acceptable. Have you ever heard of the phrase in Spanish "un clavo saca a otro clavo?" The new person you meet helps take the other person and the heartache off your mind. But if you're looking to build a new and strong relationship with someone new, it's not a good idea to do it that way. It also isn't fair to your new significant other who may be trying to be with you and you only and is giving himself/herself whole heartedly. You may be with that person physically, but mentally and emotionally you're still with that other person. (Reminds me of your other blog-you do me, I do her...) In reality you're just using this new person to replace the one you just lost and that is not cool.
ReplyDeleteIt's acceptable? ouchie! wouldn't it be better to grieve for the loss...build your emotional stability and give it all to someone new? it's like drugs...you feel the emotional pain of something...but instead of feeling it and exploring it...you numb it with substances...or blogs. Why not instead face the pain, feel it, embrace it...sure it's hard...but we must be willing to do this or the cycle will just continue.
ReplyDeleteI like the comparison you made with the other blog..you are starting to see the point of all these blogs...not that you haven't already...and not that there is even a point..ha!
I think your blog is stupid.
ReplyDeleteHey there anon, you're right...it can be stupid at times- like us all! What parts do you not particularly like?
ReplyDeleteI've always been under the belief that it is important that we be okay with ourselves before we even attempt to add more to it by connecting with someone else. You're a fucking mess and you're trying to make things work simply because they present themselves at the time.
ReplyDeleteI suppose it comes down to what is the point of the relationship? Relationships are give and take. You can't always be the one giving and you can't always be the one taking. But is your relationship just to make you feel like you're not alone if only for that moment? Then perhaps its not so crazy to always be looking.
But if your goal is to find something long term, wouldn't you want to be able to demonstrate what you really are capable of rather than the mess that your former relationship left behind?