"How many party invites did you get for this saturday night? 1? 2? 3? well if you're like me...15. But if you're a normal person that has a typical size schlong or cleavage you may have gotten 2 or 3. "
PSYCH!SENSE question: If you get multiple invites for the same night..do you stay with one or try and make all three?
This topic was introduced to me by Mike K. Brilliant therapist and overall sexy guy...keep your pants on gentlemen he's straight...and married. There I go again with the gay jokes...seriously...wtf.
Ever have one of those weekends where you're supposed to be at your friends wedding shower...your boy's birthday party...your nephew's baptismo...and your buddies housewarming party on the same night?
Even some of us not so popular guys (pointing at me) have gotten into a time when we have to make decisions on which to go to.
Do you try to stuff them all? do you just go to one of them? usually the one that first invited...or the one that has the most available single attractive potentials.
This is where the line, "trying to fit 5 pounds of shit into a 3 pound bag comes in." There are many that feel so entitled and sexy that they try and go to all 4 events in that same night. What does that mean? that means they end up going to their friend's dinner party early...leaving 1 hour later..then going to their friends stuffed animal dress up party...then ending the night at a random club (when everyone is already trashed and could care lesss you showed up at that time) only to go home with...oh yes...the drunk girl...that i'm pretty sure was a guy because of how deep her voice was...and the fact that she was "bigger" than me...and smelled of musk.
PSYCH!SENSE tells us that perhaps we have trouble saying no? perhaps the prospect of being seen...and having people like us by going to their invites is too much. Many people would try and go to all three because of their feeling that "if I don't go- he'll never invite me again" or even, "I have to go because if I do i'll feel popular."
Because sometimes our horrible self-esteem gets to us...we feel the need to go to all the events in the hope that we can convince ourselves of our feelings wanted, needed and appreciated.
Example!
Think about facebook...many of us will post things up on that monster...almost waiting for people to post a reply...hit the like key...or do something that recognizes what we did. It feels good.
It is because in that moment...when people do something in response..we feel noticed...appreciated...cared for. What does that tell you? the more people post...the more likely they want to feel noticed. But that's a different topic.
If I went to the gym and worked on my quads, glutes, shoulders and chest...I would probably have enough energy and drive to really work on my quads and glutes effectively and well. I can put my attention and love and concentration into those muscles...but if I try and stuff two more muscle groups in there...I may do it half ass and without drive. I'm doing it half ass.
we see the connection right? you must be willing to put your love and attention into invites and who you give your time to. We sometimes do things just because we're asked...when in fact we must be willing to look back at ourselves and consider the value of our time and the type of event or party we want to spend our time on.
If invited to my friends birthday and to my friend's neighbor's cousin's house party...why try and go to both? I instead value my friend more and would want to put my love, time and attention into creating the stronger relationship...and celebrating the day he came into existence.
Not only do I show my boy that I value him...I also value myself.
If I go to my friends dinner party 2 hours late because I was at another party beforehand..what does that tell him? that tells him..."you are not important enough for me to show up on time" and secretly our unconscious mind may also be saying..."I am so popular that I had to make an appearance at this other party...you're lucky I even showed up." Get over yourself people.
If they invite you and you say "yes"...they aren't lucky you showed up...you're lucky you were even thought of and invited.
I think psych!sense is right, you need to prioritize and really think about which celebration is most important and which person means the most to decide which event you'll attend. However there's nothing wrong showing up to the club super late after they won't remember that you were even there. There's an invention young whipper snappers use called a digital camera. The person who's celebrating will want to try and piece together the events of the night and look through the pictures.
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes it's hard choosing one party over the other. For example you get invited to two different family parties, one from a cousin from your mom's side and a cousin from your dad's side. You hardly see either side of the family so you really want to attend both so which do you choose?
I've always gone to family events (immediate and first cousin) before friend stuff. Culturally, that's what's expected of us. But more than that... I think I tend to go to the party of which I am closer to the host. There are a handful of friends that I would kill and die for. Nothing would stop me from being at their side if the need arose. But if having to choose between two, I'd definitely try to make it to both. Luckily, my best friend has kids now and so most of his stuff is during the day. My other best friends do stuff at night so it works out.
ReplyDelete@gaby...with those types of situations..I would aim for both. If they are of equal priority...if they have a small lapse in time...I would try and do two...totally do-able. I would also challenge by saying, your wanting to go tells me that you do miss them...that you do want the relationship..why wait for the party to do it? if you go to one of the parties...maybe make time to call all the others at the other.
ReplyDelete@dyna...you bring a great perspective to the table. THe idea of culture and the effects of family. What if you were invited to a family event...and the same time was invited to your best friends house for a party were he was setting you up with a hot chick? would you feel more inclined to ditch the family for the off chance you'll meet the lady or your dreams? or..maybe get laid
I definitely would go to the family thing first. But our family things aren't designed to take all day - that's at least six schedules that have to line up to get us all there at the same time so we're prompt about it. We also help clean up. But it always takes precedence over anything else. However, nobody also gets mad if I don't show to a particular thing - something I attribute to my father who doesn't always make it to the events for one reason or another. But I still do try to at least make a showing at my best friend's. I mean, on a moment's notice a couple of weeks ago I drove an hour out to Corona because a friend had an impromptu engagement party. I was one of two people who made it.
ReplyDeletecool. I new poster...thanks Julia ;)
ReplyDelete