103. What Do You Ask Of Me?

hey man i got something for your blog. I was trying to send it to you through there but i could not figure it out... You ever notice that people take certain ROLES in relationships. Like in my relationship with my wife (even though we split a lot of stuff) i take more of the head of household role. I pay most of the bills and food and stuff. But in my previous relationship i was more of a "follower" (even though im nothing like that). Also i have a friend that is very motivated but ever since he got in his relationship it seems that he cant do anything unless his girl tells him to do it. I mean he was never like that before and ive seen him in other relatioships. It seems to me that people take roles depending on the relationship they are in. Im just wondering "why?.... why do we change who we are depending on who we are with?" I dont know maybe you can put something like that up and somebody has some answers.....

If you guys read an earlier blog of mine entitled, "Brilliant Kids" Number 46.

One of the things the little guy tells me is: "Hey..uhm...why is it that my daddy likes to be treated like a baby by my mommy? ...so you're saying that when I get bigger i'll want to be treated like a baby again?...that's dumb"

I would also refer to "Fill you jugs" for some more ideas along with the blog "I/you/we/need"

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I start this blog with a question: What is the role we play asking of us?

In any relationship...friends, co-workers, prostitutes, family, we are expected to fill certain roles with them in order to balance the relationship. Think of it this way...you are on a teeter-toter...you know...that little balancing thing at the park...god I hated those things...being the fat kid..it would take like 2 or 3 kids to lift the other side...haha..I would have to jump a bit to make it go up...and of course i'd be like, "see we're the same weight.." but it's okay..I got back at them...oh yes...I got back at them...hannibal style...

A good "philosopher phriend" of mine nicknamed Mr. Roy makes an very interesting point, he says, "I honestly believe its because we always act a certain way around people. And often times, its because they expect us to act a certain way. I catch myself doing this too."

PSYCH!SENSE tells us that in all relationships we do something called Accomodation. THis is when you are with someone and you do what you must to have that connection and relationship with someone- This can be used good and bad...

Good- Seeing the hot asian chick at the boba place and agreeing/kissing her ass in anyway possible to get a number...she says, "I like pokemon" and suddenly in response we're like, "PIKACHU GO!"

Bad- sadly...domestic abuse that happens at home...many will just go with it and excuse it because "they love me...and he provides for me"

Because we want it to work out in our relationships we fill the complementary role (the role that meets the other person where they are) So it sounds like you are the "man" of the house because your wife compliments you in a different way. Your boy may be filling the role that his girl expects/needs for him to fill in order for the relationship to work.

At the same time we also know what role we are expected to take at certain times. For instance Mr. Roy makes a point when he says, "when i'm at work...I am professional and show it...when I'm with my nieces...I don't break out my cock and show it to them"

A few things to keep in mind: what is the role i'm in...what is the role asking from me...how does my partner fill her role and what it asks of her.

What you are doing...and what he is doing are not bad. In fact, it's wonderful that both of you are able to acknowledge your different roles...your different expectations and fill them...but keep in mind...at what point does it become unbalanced? not trying to stir the water...but if you are filling your role and expectations...are they filling their role and complimenting side.

are you guys balancing on the teeter-toter?

find your balance.