Can you love more than one person at a time? Now the simple answer is yes..but the more complicated, gray (grey?) area is ...YES and NO.
Who's your favorite? bert or ernie? (sesame street)
homer simpson or peter griffin?
pepsi or coke?
Me or Me?
as you can see the ideas of loving and feeling the connection to two things can exist..now of course this doesn't answer the question:
PSYCH!SENSE question...Can I be in love with more than one person?
This idea was summitted to me by one of my readers who asked me about relationships...(HA! people actually ask for my opinion...ha!!) anways...she had told me that she loves her husband but when they separated she fell for another guy...perhaps it was his massive....ya know..his giants huge....socks. And we know what they say about guys with big socks right? yeah...big penis. So she tells me that she loves both of her men. WIth her husband she had built a family...a home...a life...and after they separated...she found solace in another man (with a giant sock) who she wanted to be with.
THis is the dilemma...does she love them both? yes! Perhaps the life she has built with one is a type of love that is grounded in investment, experience, life, and consistency...where her other man is grounded in possibilities, potential, and new life.
Perhaps this is the difference...marriage many times has the strength to last because of their:
Investment (the time put into someone)
Experience (we have memories..like that one time we tried to smuggle illegal prescription viagara over the border)
Life (we have kids together...lets try and not screw them up too badly...dammit too late!!!)
Consistency (it's dress up as a rodeo clown or bull night...because it's wednesday)
We think of these things and can see how the opposite also fits our attention and love:
Possibilities (the new things that could happen...you start working out more...you start loving more fully...as if regenerated...you end up *finishing like 8 times in a night compared to maybe once a week with your husband/wife)
Potential (having this new feeling and experience reminds me that i'm alive..almost as if starting new)
New Life (I am now a person that is a happier (in a new way) and brighter when I see this new person...they make me feel more alive)
Consider this metaphor...When I go to hometown buffet I know what to expect...and some of us know exactly what's on the menu right? friday night is fish...wednesday night is ribs...etc...we grow to love it because we can expect and see what's there...it's comfortable, it's consistent, it's known, it's there....
but then...BAM!!! in walks the sexy Asian buffet house down the block...OH baby...fish night every night? oh yeah..you know what i'm talking about...they have some of the same choices at hometown buffet but with a slightly different taste and smels...hahahha...this is disgusting...hahaha....but your eye raises...you get curious..you go and find out that damn..."vanilla was nice...but I'd rather have some south east asian rice" ... you get the idea...
you then have two choices: you can invest time into Asian Buffet and start to learn their calendar and food choices potentially learning that you can't stand Crab night (hahah sick) and in turn slowly lose track of hometown buffet's schedule because you spend too much time at the other...or...you can continue to focus on what you know has been there and stay true to the original. Big question. gross answers.
REFERENCES:
the "vanilla nice...to asian rice" are lyrics from GetOuttm...cdbaby them...or myspace...or facebook...song is called Asian Girls.
does anyone not like Asian rice?
ReplyDeleteCould it be that perhaps since you meet someone new they make you feel "young" again, or it's that feeling of something new that you love so much as opposed to a new person? I think it's more like an infatuation than a love. When it boils down to it, I think the first person you love (which would be the old love) is the person you really see yourself with in the end and that is the "real deal." Especially with thinking about what an extensive past you have with that person, house, kids or a dog even.
ReplyDeleteI like the alternative take on it anon. "that feeling of something new...as opposed to a new person.." I like that. It's the mixing it up...the changing the traditional which is the real attraction. What do we think readers? DO we get off on the idea of a new person or the new experience here?
ReplyDeleteit just like when you go on vacay your all excited cant wait to see and do everything, but then u gt sick from something u ate or u start getting homesick aint nothing like home sweet home and sleeping in YOUR bed..aint nothing like it you go back home to what feels right and your comfy at! in the end possibilities and what ifs are just that things you cant b sure of!
ReplyDeleteso anon...i guess I wonder about this person we become in the eyes of another...we run out in the world and play at our leisure...but when it comes down to it...we want our bed to be there...i don't know if that's sad or not
ReplyDelete