soooo...here we go....best friend forever to best partner forever (again totally made that up)
I once knew a girl that said, "once you're in the friend zone with a girl..it's over." Haven't we guys heard that too? "damn kid don't get in the friend zone or else it's not going to happen!!!" Seriously! getting into the friend zone with your hot friend is like becoming her gay pal accessory...you just aint gonna get any. THe most you'll end up getting is maybe a little nipple action/shot when she's trying on clothes or maybe in a drunken stupor she falls on you and bam...full frontal impact with you...hhahah...we've all had that experience..(too bad it was with a 12 year old cousin)....
anyways...
I've met two people lately...one of them at cafe roule (free advertising!) who told me that her boyfriend of many years now was first her BFF. Apparently..they had grown soooo close and so tight with one another that one night..it happened...he moved from the BFF to the BPF (I'll work on the letters).
Another friend of mine had told me that her BFF was around so much during her stressful times that it was easy to want and embrace him fully...So I suppose the question changes a bit...does being the BFF turn into the greatest way to meet someone?
Yet another person has told me...once they become your friend they become less attractive...sexually. As in that friend (that is a girl) you made starts losing her intimate partner appeal. She begins to change form and not be as attractive as when you first met her...they lose their attraction (does that make sense...i'll pretend it does)SO this gentleman tells me that he finds it hard to see them as anything more than just a friend....
PSYCH!SENSE tells me that it is only in these intimate relationships with others that we can truly be ourselves...when a person is able to know all of your crap and be okay with it, that is love. Whether it starts out with friendship, club hook up or that one night at your friend's sexy grandma's house- Our ability to feel connected and held by someone is much stronger of love than is the traditional standard of "make sure she's knows you want it because she makes you a friend" We must be willing to give ourselves complete to another and sometimes...friends are the way to do that first.
Perhaps the hidden secret to having a lasting relationship is our ability to tolerate our friendships and allow them to bloom as oppose to aiming for the quick hook up...
Now i'm not saying that the traditional way to a partner's heart doesn't work...you walk up to a lady at a club and say, "damn baby..your pants must be a mirror cuz I can see myself in them"....or perhaps, "I love what you're wearing...but it'd look better on my bedroom floor"
you get the idea...this does work...but perhaps the secret to lasting and "forever" ones are those that begin once foundation has been created.
intentionally becoming a BFF first in order to transition into a BPF (i like the term) seems like a really long term plan to dating someone.
ReplyDeletefrom my extensive research on the subject (watching a lot of tv and movies) the opposite sex BFF (or same sex if you like to get down like that- giggity) will realize they want to be more than friends after the other person finds a partner they can "settle down" with.
In that moment of realization that their BFF will drift away into their relationship/marriage and they will lose some if not all of the connection they once had, they realize they love not only the relation ship they have with the BFF, but they love the BFF themselves.
- getting in the "friends zone" is not necessarily the end- as in the lady will never see you as a viable mating partner. but maybe it is that the guy has reached a point where they are afraid to make a move, because if they are rejected, then they will lose the friendship/relationship they currently have.
It becomes a cost/benefit risk analysis.
Do you risk losing your investment in the friendship for the possibility of reaping the high return of a possible BPF?
NOW THAT WAS WELL SAID!! very very very well said. Plus I like the giggidy part. thank you images. So it's only when you start to lose the BFF that you realize you need them? now that's funny. TOtally love the cost/benefit risk for our econ guys out there...although there may only be one.
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