28. Broken phone phun

So this last weekend during my wonderful wonderful adventures I accidentally cracked my cell phone."OH NO!" right?My phone is this LG Voyager Touch screen sexiness that basically exudes awesomeness...and here I am breaking the touch screen and essentially ruining a 500.00 dollar phone. That sucks...So now i'm basically forced to answer all my calls because I can't find/doesn't have the function to not answer when flipped open. Here I am then answering every single phone call from fear that it might be one of my marines and have to pick up their phone calls because most likely they have some random stupid emergency...anyways...I go to Verizon and of course start thinking of a million and one lies to tell them so that I can get them to replace it for me for free..."While walking a baby was on fire in a house and I ran in to save it..." -no..don't like babies"A car crash sent a flying woman into the air and I jumped off my motorcycle to catch her before she landed into traffic..." -no...I wouldn't sacrifice my bike for a human"Godzilla crashed into my house smashing my phone but only cracking the screen" -no..king kong is way stronger than himSO i walk up to the cashier and tell her...you know I'm sorry to say that when I first got my phone it had a small crack in it and over the last 6 months the tiny crack grew and eventually now my phone cracked...the cashiers response?"i'm sorry sir, well since it sounds like a manufacturer mishap i'll take your phone, send it to the company and you'll have a new one back in about 4 business days"my response "DOH!! 4 days...do you have like...loaner phones?"her response "well, had you accidentally broke it by say, sitting on it...you can just call your insurance and have it tomorrow...but clearly it's a manufacturers mishap so I have to take it"my response "DOUBLE DOH!!!...you mean I lied for nothing?"her response "well...no you didn't lie for nothing...you just learned that your lie just wasn't any good."jerk...:)