You’re Asking the Wrong Question
I think we focus too much on what we want and not enough on what we deserve. We deserve to feel invincible and beautiful. Does this person make you feel this way? No? Then why are you with them? Sex, comfort, or a label is not enough. Life is too fucking short. Relationships are too fucking hard.
The way someone makes you feel is the gift of the relationship. Read that again. The gift is not that you’re in one. What’s left after the dust settles, “dust” being the initial attraction, is the nectar - how the person makes us feel. If the answer to that question is shitty, well we don’t need anyone to make us feel that. We do an excellent job of that on our own.
So if you’re going to invest in a relationship, because that’s what you’re doing, INVESTING, look for someone who makes you feel a way that no one else on the planet can make you feel. That is of value. If that person makes you feel like many others can, including yourself, that’s like investing in stock you know is bad. So if you don’t profit (find happiness), don’t be surprised.
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What if you don't know how s/he makes you feel? What if he have these mixed messages we're trying to decipher and not really know where we stand? It is possible that while with your partner you are vibing, getting all the right signals, and everything is there. Once apart, s/he is not as attentive so you're confused but you've idolized this person as potentially being the perfect mate because of all of the qualities they possess and those qualities having to be everything on your "list." How can you find out without compromising your happiness? Or simply, what if you don't want to get rid of the idea of that person?
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