First, I believe there are two types of love: healthy and unhealthy.
Unhealthy love is being powerless, selfish and enabling. It has no
boundaries. Unhealthy love is unconditional and yet contingent. It is
immature, irresponsible and dependent. Unhealthy love is urgent. There
is a desperation behind it which produces manipulation and compromise of
self. Unhealthy love is a pissing contest, a tug of war, a mute silence
and a kick stand. It is obvious. Unhealthy love promotes the false self
and stunts growth. It is a drug. You base your feelings and emotion on those of the other...you seek their health over your own, which is sweet but when it costs you your own- wrong.
Healthy love is a choice. It is something you decide to give as a
gift. It has conditions that shape the self and strengthen the other.
Healthy love is feeling powerful and independent. It is grilled cheese
and vegetable soup on a rainy day but not every day. Healthy love is
patient, kind and accepting. Healthy love requires a tremendous amount
of responsibility which involves communication on all levels and
constant reflection. It is building trust, having faith and holding a
commitment. Healthy love promotes growth and two strong containers.
Healthy love is rare. It also comes down to choosing to give of yourself as a choice. As you must be willing to give to the other, you must be willing to give to yourself. Healthy love does not only apply to your partner, it applies to how you give to yourself that which you try and give to your partner.
Angry
Added- Psych!
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