-girl with flower shirt"
When you look at a beach ball you are able to see different colors on it. Well duh?!?! what's the point?
PSYCH!SENSE question: What child is seeing the true color of the ball?
No matter what the angle you will often see different colors. if I am the little asian girl then I see, and think, the color of the ball is purple. If I'm the little white child on the right, I may think "hmm...the color of the ball is green..." if i'm the little mexican kid in the back...who knows what color I see...
(actually...this is like the most diverse beach ball backyard party I have ever seen...)
anyways...
My point is this...no matter what side you are looking at the beach ball..the perspectives are all right and all wrong at the same time.
The asian girl would be right to say, "I see the ball as purple..." whereas the little white kid would also be right in saying, "I see the ball as green" Yet both would be wrong if they were trying to argue what the ball looks like to another person.
Does that make sense?
Often times we will see only one side of the argument. We only are exposed to one side of the action...one side of the story...one side of same ball...
The trick is learning how to read and consider everyone's perspective to be true...but also staying true to your perspective.
It is a balance that is quite difficult to hold...I have to be willing to consider your side as true just as I consider mine to be true..there is an answer and no answer...there is an understanding and almost trusting faith in what you see as your side of the ball as truth.
Arguing is the same way. We often will engage with a person who may see things from a different angle..it is not our job/position to force them to see ours...it is merely our responsibility to walk with them and offer our perspective while also considering theirs. The problem is that sometimes...it gets too difficult....we get so absorbed in our own personal truths we forget to see the other side and dismiss it.
Therapy...soul searching...individuation...in fact just being a better person is not about problem solving as it more about seeing perspectives...and in the new perspectives problems will automatically move...be fluid in your life's journey...be open to the new side of things and allow yourself the openness to seeing the other person's color of the ball.
A large part of this reminds me of a previous blog, the one where the friends are arguing over sponge bob or something like that. Speaking from the perspective of a stubborn person, it is EXTREMELY difficult to be open to see others perspectives or sides when you're convinced you're right. But sometimes, as difficult as it is, or even if you don't agree with it right away, you have to let your guard down a little bit and at least be open to hearing the other person's side of the story. Hearing them out doesn't necessarily mean you have to agree with them or have their side suddenly become your side. When in an argument with someone, maybe take some time off and think about your argument. Once you're ready to say your side, be sure you're ready to hear theirs. I personally think it is best to take some time to marinate on what their side of the story is. Once you're cooled off a bit, you tend to be more open to the ideas of others.
ReplyDeleteBut you have to keep in mind compromise also works. Even if you don't agree with it, be open to accept it. Don't automatically rule it out. Once you accept it, it might also be good to swallow your pride and apologize. However you have to keep in mind that if you apologize, accept or whatever, you cannot dwell on it. You have to learn to let it go and move forward. Otherwise you'll always be stuck in this place.
Somewhere along this road I may have lost my train of thought!
I've learned that its not necessarily a bad thing if you can argue a point correctly. However, it's less important to argue about inane shit - people just end up pissed off and for what? Often times, its just not worth the time to argue. Still, there are times where its important to do so and is actually healthy.
ReplyDelete