48. Attraction theory

In the world there exists a natural "living" language and entity. The anima and animus. FOr the sake of simplicity...I will only about about the spirit of the anima. She is the ideal image of a woman...the perfect capitulation of what a perfection would be. As we are born the mother becomes almost like a living entity of that said spirit. She is the embodiment of the perfect image. Unforunately mother also is not perfect...she makes mistakes and it is on us to help remedy this and build ourselves up from this "disappointment." As we grow up we continue trying to find the original mother...the original anima (eventhough she is already with us) and will go to any length to try and find her. We grow up with a feeling of emptiness...a feeling of not being complete. We find ourselves strving for what we have never had. This is where bad relationships start. The power or attraction...the power of opposites...the unruling force that is the anima and attraction. How beautiful she is. The abused child will seek the abuser...the rape victim will look for a ruling male....the gender confused child will find exactly what she/he needs. This is the difficulty. Isn't it interesting how the child of a substance abuse mother will in turn to a lover with an addiciton problem.

How cyclic! how horribly sweet it is to find and strive for the exact person that you once felt was horrible and unavailable. We are trying to find the woman that is just like our mother or father...trying to find the person that will bring up back to completeness and wholeness. You must be willing to face your opposite (because you'll probably be unexplicably attracted to them)and when given the opportunity...or if you forced to take the opportunity you must be willing to spit him in the face and shove a finger in his face. Identification with that lustful and needed image does allow for a shallow connection but will fall in the long run. Be willing to hold yourself to a high level or courage and be willing to throw out all the things that you feel are right for you...yes it sucks...yes it hurts...you will try to fix your problems through them and you will try and seek the part of yourself in them but unltimately you must leanr to find a new part...build a new part...become part of a new part of yourself and others. Empty your cup...and let someone else...through someone else...in someone or something else refill it up along with your soul. Do not be seduced by the beautiful sirens of the endless ocean.