Monday, March 26, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
160.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
159.
I, I can't promise you
that I won't let you down
And I, I can't promise you
that I will be the only one around
when your hope falls down
But we're young, open flowers in the windy fields
of this war-torn world
And love, this city breathes the plague
of loving things more than their creators
I ran away
I could not take the burden of both me and you
It was too fast
Casting love on me as if it were a spell I could not break
When it was a promise I could not make
But what if I was wrong?
But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight
And now this land means less and less to me
without you breathing through its trees
At every turn the water runs away from me
and the halo disappears
and the hole when you're not near
So what if I was wrong?
But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight
So hold on to what you believed in the light
that I won't let you down
And I, I can't promise you
that I will be the only one around
when your hope falls down
But we're young, open flowers in the windy fields
of this war-torn world
And love, this city breathes the plague
of loving things more than their creators
I ran away
I could not take the burden of both me and you
It was too fast
Casting love on me as if it were a spell I could not break
When it was a promise I could not make
But what if I was wrong?
But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight
And now this land means less and less to me
without you breathing through its trees
At every turn the water runs away from me
and the halo disappears
and the hole when you're not near
So what if I was wrong?
But hold on to what you believe in the light
When the darkness has robbed you of all your sight
So hold on to what you believed in the light
Monday, March 12, 2012
Friday, June 10, 2011
158. Porcupine
Fable of the porcupine
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. Moral of the story: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The real moral of the story......LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.
It was the coldest winter ever. Many animals died because of the cold. The porcupines, realizing the situation, decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and protected themselves; but the quills of each one wounded their closest companions. After awhile, they decided to distance themselves one from the other and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their companions or disappear from the Earth. Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions in order to receive the warmth that came from the others. This way they were able to survive. Moral of the story: The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The real moral of the story......LEARN TO LIVE WITH THE PRICKS IN YOUR LIFE.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
157. More relationship stuff?!?!?
I've been reflecting a lot on relationships lately, as you can guess from my last blog. I've gotten a few different email reactions from it and thought I would take some time to further emphasize the idea of relationships. It ultimately comes down to your own personal growth when you're with another person. Your partner acts as a thermometer for you to measure your own personality with. You must know that you are your own person that is not dependent on another to provide happiness/anger. Your partner is not responsible to make you happy. We must try and switch our minds into the understanding that we as individuals grow outside of our loves.
This is a miracle and curse. As you are with your partners, you are transforming...you are enlarging and growing. But the catch is that this growth and transformation only comes from suffering. Stop and consider the times you have learned a lesson. Most likely, it came at the cost of conflict, loss, sadness, and anger.
This is the problem with relationships or even marriage. Many believe that marriage is an amazing, beautiful, "butterfly in stomach", flowers blooming and sweet scents throughout the rest of our lives...but the fact is that relationships/marriage have NOTHING to do with being happy :) seriously. It has nothing to do with being happy- it has to do with being transformed. Happiness is only a side-effect of your transformation...when your transformation is realized it is a magnificent experience. But you have to give in. You have to yield/submit. You have to give in. Lose the arm wrestling match, submit to the transformation of being with the other. Only when you own your flaws and actively use your partner as a person to walk the journey with, do you find your transformation and happiness.
This is a miracle and curse. As you are with your partners, you are transforming...you are enlarging and growing. But the catch is that this growth and transformation only comes from suffering. Stop and consider the times you have learned a lesson. Most likely, it came at the cost of conflict, loss, sadness, and anger.
This is the problem with relationships or even marriage. Many believe that marriage is an amazing, beautiful, "butterfly in stomach", flowers blooming and sweet scents throughout the rest of our lives...but the fact is that relationships/marriage have NOTHING to do with being happy :) seriously. It has nothing to do with being happy- it has to do with being transformed. Happiness is only a side-effect of your transformation...when your transformation is realized it is a magnificent experience. But you have to give in. You have to yield/submit. You have to give in. Lose the arm wrestling match, submit to the transformation of being with the other. Only when you own your flaws and actively use your partner as a person to walk the journey with, do you find your transformation and happiness.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
156. Relationships...to ourselves
I want to take some time to talk a little about relationships. There is a little secret about them...I know! Come closer....closer.....closer! DAMMIT! your eye ball should be touching the screen!
:)
I written about this before but I want to drive this home to all of you readers out there that are in relationships or are wanting to be in one or hmmm...just masturbate a lot :)
A marriage, a relationship, a lover, a partner, a girlfriend, a boyfriend are a guarantee of nothing certain. We feel that having a relationship gives us that sense of not being lonely, that sense of having someone there, that sense of being close to and in line with another...but what I want you to take into consideration is that the quality of all of our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves. READ THAT LAST SENTENCE AGAIN!
"the quality of all of our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves"
What the hell does that mean!?!? it means that in order to have a wonderful relationship, it is each person's personal responsibility to fix themselves and see where they are individually jacked up. It is not your partner's fault for how you feel....READ THAT ONE AGAIN!
The best thing that can be done for our relationships with others and with the higher level and deeper soulful connection with another is to create a deeper relationship to ourselves. We must make our inner hurt/trauma/pain/love more conscious.
I believe that many go into relationships because they feel that the "other" person will somehow "fix" them. The fact is that the only thing a relationship does is show you your own flaws....it is then your responsibility and individual calling to work on yourself. Our partners are mirrors for our issues.
This is the problem and the solution. We need relationships to help mirror where we are all messed up but at the same time must be willing to accept that our partners are not necessarily the ones making us angry, we are angry as a reaction to seeing them do something against our values...we are angry at ourselves when we see our own issues in our partners.
This is why love is hard. Love is hard because it forces an opening of our inner soul and working to a world that we often don't want to see. No one wants to see how really jacked up and screwed up they are...this is why the opposite of love is not hate, but the opposite of love is fear.
People often times do not commit in relationships because they fear what they will see...they fear having to face their own crap and having to face their own issues. This is what I see in relationships...the health and hope of any intimate relationship will depend on each party's willingness to assume responsibility for that relationship to one's own unconscious shit!
Ghandi once said, "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." falling in love is easy...but truly LOVING another person is heroic. If we really love our partner, we have heroically taken on the responsibility for our own growth, our own journey, our own individuation to be better. If you don't know your issues....do this. Think back to your last argument...be honest with yourself and think about what really PISSED YOU OFF. What really did your partner do that upset you...you have to be willing to admit that they may have done something...but ultimately, you were the one that felt reactive to his/her/their actions.
This is the hard part...you must be willing to acknowledge that they will reflect your issues. Own your feelings and be real. Every argument is a chance for you to grow...a chance for you to see your shortfalls...take a moment to own it and work on it.
Think of it like this...your relationship should be like an airplane flight. You both get on going somewhere and for the flight that you are on...you sit next to one another...that's it. You are still different, you are still two different people...you will still eat different meals, use the bathroom at different times...but for that flight you are on...you share a common goal.
Love is about facing your fear and traveling. It is about sitting next to a person on a flight, not having them carry you on their back. It is about holding their hand willingly, not hand-cuffing yourself to them. It's about you ordering the chicken and them having the fish but eating at the same times...you must grow on your own. You must find where you are jacked up....fly with them....
:)
I written about this before but I want to drive this home to all of you readers out there that are in relationships or are wanting to be in one or hmmm...just masturbate a lot :)
A marriage, a relationship, a lover, a partner, a girlfriend, a boyfriend are a guarantee of nothing certain. We feel that having a relationship gives us that sense of not being lonely, that sense of having someone there, that sense of being close to and in line with another...but what I want you to take into consideration is that the quality of all of our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves. READ THAT LAST SENTENCE AGAIN!
"the quality of all of our relationships is a direct function of our relationship to ourselves"
What the hell does that mean!?!? it means that in order to have a wonderful relationship, it is each person's personal responsibility to fix themselves and see where they are individually jacked up. It is not your partner's fault for how you feel....READ THAT ONE AGAIN!
The best thing that can be done for our relationships with others and with the higher level and deeper soulful connection with another is to create a deeper relationship to ourselves. We must make our inner hurt/trauma/pain/love more conscious.
I believe that many go into relationships because they feel that the "other" person will somehow "fix" them. The fact is that the only thing a relationship does is show you your own flaws....it is then your responsibility and individual calling to work on yourself. Our partners are mirrors for our issues.
This is the problem and the solution. We need relationships to help mirror where we are all messed up but at the same time must be willing to accept that our partners are not necessarily the ones making us angry, we are angry as a reaction to seeing them do something against our values...we are angry at ourselves when we see our own issues in our partners.
This is why love is hard. Love is hard because it forces an opening of our inner soul and working to a world that we often don't want to see. No one wants to see how really jacked up and screwed up they are...this is why the opposite of love is not hate, but the opposite of love is fear.
People often times do not commit in relationships because they fear what they will see...they fear having to face their own crap and having to face their own issues. This is what I see in relationships...the health and hope of any intimate relationship will depend on each party's willingness to assume responsibility for that relationship to one's own unconscious shit!
Ghandi once said, "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave." falling in love is easy...but truly LOVING another person is heroic. If we really love our partner, we have heroically taken on the responsibility for our own growth, our own journey, our own individuation to be better. If you don't know your issues....do this. Think back to your last argument...be honest with yourself and think about what really PISSED YOU OFF. What really did your partner do that upset you...you have to be willing to admit that they may have done something...but ultimately, you were the one that felt reactive to his/her/their actions.
This is the hard part...you must be willing to acknowledge that they will reflect your issues. Own your feelings and be real. Every argument is a chance for you to grow...a chance for you to see your shortfalls...take a moment to own it and work on it.
Think of it like this...your relationship should be like an airplane flight. You both get on going somewhere and for the flight that you are on...you sit next to one another...that's it. You are still different, you are still two different people...you will still eat different meals, use the bathroom at different times...but for that flight you are on...you share a common goal.
Love is about facing your fear and traveling. It is about sitting next to a person on a flight, not having them carry you on their back. It is about holding their hand willingly, not hand-cuffing yourself to them. It's about you ordering the chicken and them having the fish but eating at the same times...you must grow on your own. You must find where you are jacked up....fly with them....
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
155. Look closer
I'm gonna jot this one down really quickly before my next patient comes in. I want to talk about our ability to see things. Now sure...we can all "see" (unless you're blind...in which case, my bad) but what I mean to talk about is the idea of truly seeing.
What the hell do you mean PSYCH!???? I'm glad you asked imaginary fans...
there are three levels of seeing...
1. Glancing. Most people in live life in a state of glance, a time at which people simply catch a quick look and turn away. As you drive for instance, you are constantly glancing and checking things out...
2. Looking and Seeing. This is when people actually take the time to see things and notice what it is and begin to memorize things about it. The color, the shape, the texture, if they are soft, hard, rough, wet, sticky, smooth, warm and moist (anyone get a sexual feeling from those?....sickos!).
3. Clarity and understanding. This is when you truly understand and work through what the "thing" means to you and how it fits into your life. This is what most people do NOT do. They lack the ability to actively incorporate "whatever" it is into the fabric of their lives, the knitting of their breath.
Now the thing is that not everything will fit into the knitting of your breath, and not everything will fit into who you are, the thing one must do is take the time to try and use clarity and understanding to figure out if things CAN fit into your life.
It is a yo-yo act. You move in and out of things...you connect to and pull away from random stuff....you try....you open up...you pull away your fear and consider the possible....consider the role that you and this "whatever" can do for you. This whatever can be anything...a car, a pencil, a eraser, a new lover, a hobby, a new type of porn....anything! Take the time to find clarity in all things.
What the hell do you mean PSYCH!???? I'm glad you asked imaginary fans...
there are three levels of seeing...
1. Glancing. Most people in live life in a state of glance, a time at which people simply catch a quick look and turn away. As you drive for instance, you are constantly glancing and checking things out...
2. Looking and Seeing. This is when people actually take the time to see things and notice what it is and begin to memorize things about it. The color, the shape, the texture, if they are soft, hard, rough, wet, sticky, smooth, warm and moist (anyone get a sexual feeling from those?....sickos!).
3. Clarity and understanding. This is when you truly understand and work through what the "thing" means to you and how it fits into your life. This is what most people do NOT do. They lack the ability to actively incorporate "whatever" it is into the fabric of their lives, the knitting of their breath.
Now the thing is that not everything will fit into the knitting of your breath, and not everything will fit into who you are, the thing one must do is take the time to try and use clarity and understanding to figure out if things CAN fit into your life.
It is a yo-yo act. You move in and out of things...you connect to and pull away from random stuff....you try....you open up...you pull away your fear and consider the possible....consider the role that you and this "whatever" can do for you. This whatever can be anything...a car, a pencil, a eraser, a new lover, a hobby, a new type of porn....anything! Take the time to find clarity in all things.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
154. gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme
So here's an interesting question....
PSYCH!SENSE question: When dating someone...is giving/buying them things often in the beginning, too much?
Now what the hell does that mean? Okay..let's break it down...lets say you meet someone randomly...oh I don't know...in a strawberry field...you two hit it off and you start dating...
Because of watching way too many damn Disney movies growing up or even actually having both a mother and father that actually made it and are still together...despite them getting pregnant with you in a porta-potty...you end having this sense of what love and relationships should be.
You end up then giving a lot to your partner in the beginning...meaning you buy them flowers every time you see them, you take them on trips to .....wherever....you pay for dinners and treat them often...you see what I mean? You are a complete gentleman, paying for things, sending them flowers and listening to them and getting them gifts randomly.
Now some philosophizers have told me that they find this as a major "NO-NO"
The female philosophizers (one married and one in a long term relationship) both said that when a man does that for a woman, she will most likely become immune to it which will result in flowers at work becoming stagnant and boring. In other words, if you send flowers and gifts to your partner at work often, it loses it's fun and surprise and becomes "boring"
Their solution? Make the woman work for it. Make the woman miss if and yearn for it and then you will have her heart when you do finally send it. They also say that doing it often makes the giver more often to being taken advantage of...especially if they date around a lot.
Despite them both saying, "we're really good women! but we've taken advantage of our guys...until we they get mad and remind us what they do for us." I suppose their opinion is that it becomes less special...(does it always have to be special? as oppose to being just a reminder?)
What do my other philosophizers think?
PSYCH!SENSE is telling me that although this could happen (being taken advantage of)...I feel that a "good" woman (or man) would be willing to acknowledge that they are being given a lot and instead of taking advantage of it...would try and step their game up if they want that person in their life.
I believe a good person who is being given a lot would, instead of taking advantage or instead of becoming "used" to being given lots of stuff...should be willing to look at themselves and say, "hey...he gave me a dozen roses at work for no reason...I should....give him a blow job later" hahahhaha...kidding....kinda.
But you see what I mean? someone who takes advantage of you would instead say, "oh he sent me flowers again....meh....he always does that...no big deal." Am I saying that you should give flowers or give equal amount of stuff in return? no! I'm simply saying that you have to be willing to look at yourself and consider your partner's actions in relation to yours.
True story. I dated a woman for about 2 months a while back ago that LOVED chocolate (personally, I can't stand it that much...) anyways...I would send her chocolate when I could....she would tell me, "Andrew! I don't know what to do for you...I feel so bad that you send me so much chocolate!!!"
I simply told her..."I can slow it down...but instead of feeling bad and having me stop all together...lets try and get you to give back..." so what did she do?
...she gave me blow jobs :) kidding.
Instead she began making me cards and sending hand written notes that I absolutely loved! that was the equalizer.
Remember ladies and gentlemen...flowers and random gifts are nice, not because of the actual gift (well sometimes) but because it tells your partner that you thought of them in that moment that you bought it for them. It tells your partner, "I saw this and thought of you...or...I was thinking of you and decided to get you these." that's the real magic behind gifts...they represent care and thoughtfulness to the receiver.
It must be said that a good woman/man would be willing to ask themselves..."does my partner give me more than I give them?" If so- you need to fix yourself. A partner who is unwilling to look at themselves in relation to their other is living for themselves instead of ourselves.
Again...readers what do we think?
If a guy (or gal) gives a lot to their partner early in the relationship because it's just the type of person they are....they believe in buying gifts and being loving and thoughtful in many ways other than/or in addition to words and physical affection...
Does giving a lot to an early dating relationship create a situation where they end up being taken advantaged of?
or
Does giving a lot to an early dating relationship help them weed out those that are not worth their time if they are taken advantaged of?
PSYCH!SENSE question: When dating someone...is giving/buying them things often in the beginning, too much?
Now what the hell does that mean? Okay..let's break it down...lets say you meet someone randomly...oh I don't know...in a strawberry field...you two hit it off and you start dating...
Because of watching way too many damn Disney movies growing up or even actually having both a mother and father that actually made it and are still together...despite them getting pregnant with you in a porta-potty...you end having this sense of what love and relationships should be.
You end up then giving a lot to your partner in the beginning...meaning you buy them flowers every time you see them, you take them on trips to .....wherever....you pay for dinners and treat them often...you see what I mean? You are a complete gentleman, paying for things, sending them flowers and listening to them and getting them gifts randomly.
Now some philosophizers have told me that they find this as a major "NO-NO"
The female philosophizers (one married and one in a long term relationship) both said that when a man does that for a woman, she will most likely become immune to it which will result in flowers at work becoming stagnant and boring. In other words, if you send flowers and gifts to your partner at work often, it loses it's fun and surprise and becomes "boring"
Their solution? Make the woman work for it. Make the woman miss if and yearn for it and then you will have her heart when you do finally send it. They also say that doing it often makes the giver more often to being taken advantage of...especially if they date around a lot.
Despite them both saying, "we're really good women! but we've taken advantage of our guys...until we they get mad and remind us what they do for us." I suppose their opinion is that it becomes less special...(does it always have to be special? as oppose to being just a reminder?)
What do my other philosophizers think?
PSYCH!SENSE is telling me that although this could happen (being taken advantage of)...I feel that a "good" woman (or man) would be willing to acknowledge that they are being given a lot and instead of taking advantage of it...would try and step their game up if they want that person in their life.
I believe a good person who is being given a lot would, instead of taking advantage or instead of becoming "used" to being given lots of stuff...should be willing to look at themselves and say, "hey...he gave me a dozen roses at work for no reason...I should....give him a blow job later" hahahhaha...kidding....kinda.
But you see what I mean? someone who takes advantage of you would instead say, "oh he sent me flowers again....meh....he always does that...no big deal." Am I saying that you should give flowers or give equal amount of stuff in return? no! I'm simply saying that you have to be willing to look at yourself and consider your partner's actions in relation to yours.
True story. I dated a woman for about 2 months a while back ago that LOVED chocolate (personally, I can't stand it that much...) anyways...I would send her chocolate when I could....she would tell me, "Andrew! I don't know what to do for you...I feel so bad that you send me so much chocolate!!!"
I simply told her..."I can slow it down...but instead of feeling bad and having me stop all together...lets try and get you to give back..." so what did she do?
...she gave me blow jobs :) kidding.
Instead she began making me cards and sending hand written notes that I absolutely loved! that was the equalizer.
Remember ladies and gentlemen...flowers and random gifts are nice, not because of the actual gift (well sometimes) but because it tells your partner that you thought of them in that moment that you bought it for them. It tells your partner, "I saw this and thought of you...or...I was thinking of you and decided to get you these." that's the real magic behind gifts...they represent care and thoughtfulness to the receiver.
It must be said that a good woman/man would be willing to ask themselves..."does my partner give me more than I give them?" If so- you need to fix yourself. A partner who is unwilling to look at themselves in relation to their other is living for themselves instead of ourselves.
Again...readers what do we think?
If a guy (or gal) gives a lot to their partner early in the relationship because it's just the type of person they are....they believe in buying gifts and being loving and thoughtful in many ways other than/or in addition to words and physical affection...
Does giving a lot to an early dating relationship create a situation where they end up being taken advantaged of?
or
Does giving a lot to an early dating relationship help them weed out those that are not worth their time if they are taken advantaged of?
Monday, April 11, 2011
153. Connection - a revisit
okay folks...first in a long time as I've been pretty daaaaaamn busy. But here we go...
A while back ago I proposed this idea of relationships having to be based on four levels of connection. For a relationship to work or for them to last there must be some remnant of these four things.
Physical - Do they get me off in bed? or specifically, "am I physically attracted to them"
Emotional - how do they make me feel after getting off in bed/ are they sweet and nice and caring...blah blah blah....do they make me feel good.
Intellectual - Can we talk about more than the absorbancy power of a sponge
Spiritual - Can they understand and respect my values and beliefs
The difficulty as I wrote before is that often times we only rely on one or two of these things and when we hit hard or rough patches in our relationships, the whole damn thing falls apart. For more detail guys look at my blog earlier called, "Can you hear me now" it's early on....it's a great one.
Anyways....some people have asked me a lot about this theory and would often tell me that they didn't feel "physically" attracted to their partner at first...which got me thinking..."maybe they don't 'fit' that idea"...so after more thinking and questioning people about relationships I think I found another theory that I feel addresses this issue...
I am here to propose an extension and revamping of the original four.
Emotional - How do they make me feel
Intellectual - can we talk about more than the absorbancy power of a sponge
Spiritual - can they understand and respect my values and beliefs
Social - Can my family/group of friends deal/accept/get along with my new relationship
You need these four things in order for the fifth one to "work"
physical - Can they get me off in bed/do I feel physically into this person
So in many cases I propose that you need this new one...social connection... as a means of relationship connection. I realize that many may not agree, but the simple fact is that your family and/or social circle must at times give a blessing to the relationship.
If you have the above four in place: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Social then Physical will then fall into place.
TAAAAAAA-DAAAAAAA
p.s. keep sending your questions to me...I will get to them...also...post your replies by hitting "philosophize"....it grows with your comments ;)
A while back ago I proposed this idea of relationships having to be based on four levels of connection. For a relationship to work or for them to last there must be some remnant of these four things.
Physical - Do they get me off in bed? or specifically, "am I physically attracted to them"
Emotional - how do they make me feel after getting off in bed/ are they sweet and nice and caring...blah blah blah....do they make me feel good.
Intellectual - Can we talk about more than the absorbancy power of a sponge
Spiritual - Can they understand and respect my values and beliefs
The difficulty as I wrote before is that often times we only rely on one or two of these things and when we hit hard or rough patches in our relationships, the whole damn thing falls apart. For more detail guys look at my blog earlier called, "Can you hear me now" it's early on....it's a great one.
Anyways....some people have asked me a lot about this theory and would often tell me that they didn't feel "physically" attracted to their partner at first...which got me thinking..."maybe they don't 'fit' that idea"...so after more thinking and questioning people about relationships I think I found another theory that I feel addresses this issue...
I am here to propose an extension and revamping of the original four.
Emotional - How do they make me feel
Intellectual - can we talk about more than the absorbancy power of a sponge
Spiritual - can they understand and respect my values and beliefs
Social - Can my family/group of friends deal/accept/get along with my new relationship
You need these four things in order for the fifth one to "work"
physical - Can they get me off in bed/do I feel physically into this person
So in many cases I propose that you need this new one...social connection... as a means of relationship connection. I realize that many may not agree, but the simple fact is that your family and/or social circle must at times give a blessing to the relationship.
If you have the above four in place: Emotional, Intellectual, Spiritual, Social then Physical will then fall into place.
TAAAAAAA-DAAAAAAA
p.s. keep sending your questions to me...I will get to them...also...post your replies by hitting "philosophize"....it grows with your comments ;)
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